Why do some men think women as "prudish" if they don't want to hookup?
I know not every guy thinks this way, but sometimes I feel that I'd be more popular if I did put myself out there like that. Thing is, I've had my time, and I'm getting to the age that I need more substance in life- but seems like the dating scene is woefully saturated with the culture of stuff like NSA/FWB and one-night stands. I'm not knocking people who want to do that, but there always seem to be invisible pressure to put out, or dudes move on. Or they don't think you like to have "fun" because "fun" is now equated with sex. I enjoy that kind of "fun", but also real fun that comes with being social outside the bedroom. Being sex positive in thinking, I feel that there's room for everyone: People who want to hookup and people who are fine with seeking a less than superficial and temporary form of dating. I'm tired of women getting shit, or being passed over because they want to know someone first.
26
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
31 comments (26 - 31)
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Perhaps I should use another term. When I get hooked up my rod is bent over and I got a nice fish down in the water at the other end I gotta get on the boat. ?
Mikeb56
Level 7
June 6, 2018
1
@Stepmomofdragons by the way I did get hooked up tonight. Yellow tail snapper and a real nice mutton snapper.
People are by default very sexual creatures. You may need to seek a non-sex themed venue. Dating sites are NOT non-sex themed because they promote relationships and relationships are defined by how types of people express themselves, how their are conditioned, and what they're lead to believe about each other. This inevitably means that there is a sex-vacuum between the parties involved. Often, people do not receive sex that is effective enough, and this causes them to never be tired of it, which produces a legion of people who come to seek pseudoromantic relationships that are defined by sex. Unfortunately, earnest love is an improbable expectation among humans, because we tend to be blind to the type of people we come to date, and even when we think we have the heuristics worked out correctly, we still find out horrible things about the other person that are deal-breakers, so sex becomes the only real satisfaction that comes out of dating relationships.
DZhukovin
Level 7
June 6, 2018
1
That is a very real possibility! And yet we are all imperfect...
Yes, we are imperfect, but that is a divergence away from the concept at hand. The self is much more encompassing than the topic of human flaws, anyway, so there is much more to be learned in that.
@Stepmomofdragons I did not say they are not sex themed. I said "they are NOT non-sex themed".
I think what causes the bait and switch is that people foolishly mentalize the other person, out of a lack of clarity. There is no such thing as someone who gets into heat for another person, and hides it completely. They fail to illicit that heat response, and then work with it, but they don't do that.
That being said, your dating venue matters. Different targets for finding partners have different selection mechanisms and a person has to think out where they should go to do what. I would not be surprised if such thinking is probably 80% of the basis of casual socializing.
@Stepmomofdragons I have had the same experience. 
Why do some women call men gay when they don't want to hookup?
ChrisJulio2
Level 3
July 18, 2018
0
I am guessing (as this is NOT my position) their objective is to score the highest "tang" count. Encounters without that outcome (from their perspective) is time wasted as it diverts their time resources for "re-productive" opportunities. To quote IMGROOT "Some men are assholes".
NoMagicCookie
Level 8
June 7, 2018
0
Are we talking dragons? Right?
GipsyOfNewSpain
Level 9
June 6, 2018
0
@Stepmomofdragons you the expert, you the stepmom. But having seen the idiocy of the latest idiots (knae west and trump) in the news calling themselves dragons on tv I wonder about you.
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
Share this post
Categories
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.