The lyrics of “Children Will Listen” come to mind.

Things a parent or spouse should NEVER do:

1. Never argue in front of the children. It will make them think they have to take sides.
2. Never demean either parent behind their back to the children. Again, it will make them think they have to take sides.
3. Never allow in-laws to demean your mate in front of your children. The children see Grandma or Grandpa as an older wiser person. And, the children will think they have to take sides.
4. Always think before you speak when addressing children. They remember far more than you think.
5. It is never appropriate to demean a mate in front of or behind their back when children are present.

There is an old business adage: Reward in public, reprimand in private. The same holds true in many areas of life including a marriage or any relationship.

Children Will Listen – Stephen Sondheim

How do you say to your child in the night
Nothing is all black but then nothing is all white?
How do you say it will all be alright
When you know that it mightn't be true?
What do you do?

Careful the things you say
Children will listen
Careful the things you do
Children will see
And learn

Children may not obey
But children will listen
Children will look to you
For which way to turn
To learn what to be
Careful before you say
"Listen to me"
Children will listen

Careful the wish you make
Wishes are children
Careful the path they take
Wishes come true
Not free

Careful the spell you cast
Not just on children
Sometimes the spell may last
Past what you can see
And turn against you
Careful the tale you tell
That is the spell
Children will listen

How can you say to a child who's in flight
Don't slip away and I won't hold so tight?
What can you say that no matter how slight won't be misunderstood?

What do you leave to your child when you're dead
Only whatever you put in it's head
Things that your mother and father had said
Which were left to them too

Careful what you say
Children will listen
Careful you do it too
Children will see and learn
Oh

Guide them but step away
Children will glisten
Temper with what is true
And children will turn
If just to be free

Careful before you say
"Listen to me"
Children will listen
Children will listen
Children, children will listen