I attended church for a while to please my grandparents. I said the words and ate the cracker and sang the songs. (I kind of like some of the songs.) But my internal experience was always "I'm doing this for them." I never believed that what all those well-groomed people around me were talking and singing about was anything but rehashed Bronze age mythology.

But it made my grandparents happy and that meant a lot to me, much more than the inconvenience of going to church once a week for an hour and a half or so. My grandfather is now dead and I live far away from my grandmother and she is sadly losing her mental powers so I don't need to pretend anymore, so that's a relief. But I didn't think I was lying to them, I think they cared that I went to church because to them, that's just what you do, and they didn't trouble themselves with what I believed.

So you're not alone in this.

You are not saying which god you believe in. It doesn't have to be their god. The irony of a god creating is that you can create your own. Spiritual life is baked into our being as humans. But such a life is highly personal. Work on your own beliefs while joining in on the opportunity to learn from others around you. Your mom is happy you're going to church. She doesn't have to know why! Part your god concert is making others happy and sharing in their joy. Leading in your community and helping others grow into happy, healthy and responsible adulthood can be another tenant of year spiritual canon. Hope this helps. Helping folks sort these things out is a part of my higher power that leads me in its own way which is also my path to tread.

Your morals and principles are your own. Without harming anybody you can do and be what ever you want. Enjoy life and let no one know who you really are.

Seriously - get a life.

I’m aware of the multitude of opportunities I’ve had to become involved with various church oriented social activities. But didn’t. Some I felt compelled to explain myself, ‘you wouldn't want me,’ ‘my lack of a belief in a god would make me a hypocrite,’ ‘so I can’t belong.’ I walked away, and they understood.

You stayed… it’s of course up to you how you remedy that, or not. Seems to me, if honestly truly is a priority, it may become the best policy. It actually hurts to say this, but I’ve long ..forever considered your kind as the worst… Those continuing to prop up an ultimately hostile concept that would so quickly come down on me.

Perhaps you’re paying a price. At least I’ve raised children, supervised them, taught them, and presented someone they could trust and safely admire. I hope you can do the same.