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Is dating, long-terming, or marrying out of the question for you with a religious person or persons? Is it to wide of a fundamental chasm to bridge, or is being non-religious not hat far up on your list of priorities?

SteveGee 4 Dec 27
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34 comments (26 - 34)

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1

I did a research paper in college about 30 years ago, and according to the research at the time said that those with zero beliefs got divorced soonest, then those partners who had one religious person and one non-believer were the next to fail. Next were those of different faiths, and lastly those who shared a similar faith lasted the longest. I personally think that belief in something is the glue to a relationship. Believing in charity, or something outside of themselves would qualify as well. Something that is meaningful and can fill them with a sort of hope for their collective futures is important to keep them committed. Children are not enough as they grow up and are gone - there needs to be something that is bigger than either of them. There is not enough of that nowadays and is why marriages fail perhaps?

Issa Level 5 Dec 28, 2017

In reality, divorce rates have dropped to 40 year lows. The reason for not divorcing and staying together may very well be, as you asserted, a common goal outside of the marriage though. Which is good enough. Keeps the focus off the marriage...!!?!

1

Absolutely, totally, emphatically, positively and categorically (I have left off a few words) YES. I would rather spend my days banging my head against a wall (that is what it would be like being with a religious person). To me a relationship must be about harmony, companionship (with periods of independence), love - both emotional and physical, empowerment and other positive attributes.

I have gone way too far down this road to take even a baby step back.

Certainly and undoubtedly? I had to go to my thesaurus. I'm of the same mind.

1

Just as long as they respect what I believe and doesn't feel it conflicts with theirs, I would be fine with it.

godef Level 7 Dec 27, 2017

Wouldn't it conflict with their belief system, by definition?

@SteveGee Like I said, as long as they're cool with it. To be honest, I've dated women who believe and everything was good, but I can imagine this could change if the relationship got serious.

1

No. My wife of many years is a devout Catholic. We simply agree that each has the right to his/her own beliefs and there are no conversion attempts from either side. Other than religion, we share many values and beliefs.

Interesting. Do you simply avoid the topic? Or are there discussions ?

@SteveGee Rarely. She never asks about my absence of religious belief. We might discuss ideas from a program on religion on PBS os something like that.

1

No one religious for me please.

1

It depends on how important their religiosity is to them and how it impacts their beliefs about relationships, civil rights, etc. I can be alright dating a believer- unless he's judgy and always trying to convert or shame me or others.

1

I am still willing to try with someone who takes a somewhat metaphorical view of their religious paradigm and recognized the social symbolism for what it is--cultural values. There are a lot of "progressive Christians" who just totally re-interpret the religion they were socialized into to be something more respectful and socially responsible. But I'm leery. I have met a fair number of people who identify as Christian, who really don't practice it but just haven't felt a strong enough revulsion to officially abandon the paradigm. But I find out quickly how they feel by their reactions to my rather vocal criticisms of it. If they're offended by my opinions, that pretty much ends it.

It's all metaphorical anyway, don't you think?

0

Been there, done that, it did not work - no need to go back to that type of headache ever again. I use to be a live & let live type of person but since November 2016 the hypocracy & hate coming from so-called christians has just astounded me and I no longer want any of that near me.

0

Yes, most definitely OUT of the question.

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