My dad was illiterate, he could not read or write. If he thought something was bad or wrong, he physically struck out. When I was about 9yrs old, my dad just seem to reject me at that point. I picked-up the idea that it was because I had become smart. It remained this way, and when i was 15, I ran away and got married. Over the next few years, he would come to visit and try to befriend me and I would just recoil. Then when I was 27, he was killed by another man in an argument as they worked for the DOT. I realized that I was hurt by his rejection but, my mother had poisoned my mind against him as well. And, I never got to make amends...because he had tried to befriend me. This started my depression and it was years before I got some understanding and acceptance...on not allowing myself to know who my dad really was! At one time I thought I was special to my dad and when that appeared to change, I put him at a distance emotionally. It left a gaping scar...that I had to learn to live with!

Lessee my dad abandoned me before I was born to raise his other kids that he actually did care about, then when I was 7 he wanted alternating weekends with me. I got to spend two weekends with him, where I was sexually assaulted by his son, and the third weekend he never came. I sat by the door with my pink suit case for 7 hours before quietly getting up and going to my room and unpacking my bags. I never mentioned him again until I became an adult.

Except for when I turned 10 and my mom married a great guy and he had to sign my adoption papers. He returned them within 15 minutes and then went on and on about how it was the hardest decision of his life. I guess abandoning your child not once but twice was easy. I like to pretend that man has never had anything at all to do with my psychology, but he did. The act of abandoning me twice left me with severe trust and abandonment issues. The fact that he couldn't bother to give a shit about me, but could about his other kids set me up for a lifetime of always caring more about others than they do about me.

I'm actually grateful he abandoned me, despite the psychological trauma, because it turns out the reason my half brother sexually assaulted me was because my father had been raping my little sister for years and making my brother help. My brother thought that was just how siblings behaved.

When I was 13 my mom told me what he had done and he was sentenced to 40 years in max prison. My siblings were split up and adopted out to other families and not allowed to contact each other until they were 18.

My guess is he never came to get me because he felt having me around was too dangerous because I could tell my mom what was going on. That's my only regret is not telling my mom about my brother assaulting me because she would have called the police and an investigation would have happened so much sooner. My only regret is not saving my sister sooner. She was three at the time that I was visiting.

So...I mean yeah I have some prescription grade daddy issues.

But my adoptive dad? He has been the most amazing father figure I could have dreamed of. I wouldn't trade that man for the world.

This is exactly what I'm working on in therapy right now. Overcoming a built in need to placate men because that was what I witnessed growing up. Keep dad happy at all times to keep peace in the house. It didn't matter what it took. And it showed up, time and time again in my adult relationships. Which is why they all failed. And why I stayed in them for so long. It's also part of why I'm choosing to be single right now, until I can figure out how to set and uphold boundaries, until I'm ready to value what I have to contribute to a relationship workout giving myself away.

We didn't speak for three years.

The good news is that we get along these days, even if were not close. He's a much better grandpa than he ever was a father, and I know it's on me to overcome these obstacles. I'm 45; I don't really need a father anymore. But I'm glad I had about 28 years with my stepdad before he passed. He wasn't perfect, but he loved my mom and she loved him. It was nice to see her happy, even if it wasn't the kind of happy I'd like to have. (My mommy issues would need a thread of their own.)

My dad wasn't awesome while I was growing up. He was entirely too harsh on me because he was worried I wouldn't make much of myself (and I gave him plenty of reason to worry) but he supported every weird hobby I wanted to try and flew to my aid whenever I needed him. Our relationship got a lot better when I got out of college and he could tell I was going to be ok. I also stopped resenting the way he treated me when I realized how young he was at the time. Of course he was a bad parent. He was still a kid himself.

We're still not all that close because he's a humorless conservative but I love him. I've never talked to him about being an atheist. He probably couldn't get his head around that at all.

Yeah, Father's Day is tough for me. I wanted so much to be a Daddy's girl - but he (and my mother) were fairly aloof. He was a great provider, and there were good moments (family picnics and such). But they came to few of my events (I was in all-state band and choir in high school, plus theater), especially once I was driving. I was 37 before he actually said "I love you." Both of them died of smoking-related illnesses, very young. I had stuffed all of my aloof-parents issues through therapy. When I cleaned out the attic after my mom's death, I found that I had never even known my parents. I found love letters, playbills from when they did theater together in college, so many tears. So I sealed up a few boxes of that and they remain that way almost 10 years later. I never really knew they loved me in a palpable way. I know they cared and my brother and I had everything we needed, for sure. But love - no. My therapist said I learned to make my own way and take care of business from practically pre-verbal childhood, and this led to failed relationships because I never thought I was worthy of love. I'm now approaching retirement age and have come to terms with most of it, and learning to love myself was the best lesson.

My dad was a sperm donor and a wallet. The highest I can speak of him is that he kept a good job and provided for us, and didn’t physically abuse me as much as his dad abused him. But as far as giving anything emotionally to his wife or kids he was useless. He still throws tantrums like a big baby. I’ve spent the last year cleaning out my childhood home from the horrific shit show of a hoarders mess he let it get to before abandoning it. He’s currently living with a batshit crazy old kook of a lady with a martyr complex and I can’t think of anything those two deserve more than each other. It’s sad because he’s getting old enough to feel sorry for him and his senility now, but he was always just as helpless, useless, pitiful, and crazy as ever. The best thing he did for me was give me a prime example of how not to treat a woman.

My father is alive and well, but he is a difficult man, we have never been close, partially because I stood up to him as a very young man.
He was distant ..unaffectionate..overtly critical..aggressive etc.
He would never remember your birthday..yet probably expected all his son's and daughters to phone or visit home to wish him a happy Father's Day....I elected not to call..even though my mother rang me that afternoon to remind me to call him.
It would be the height of hyhypocrisy to ring him on Fathers Day..
I'm done with bullshi....wasted too much time on it already..life is too short for toxic one way relationships...IMO.

I have a different take on this.

I think many people have children because they want to be given a pat on the back by society. Such people wear their children like medals. But look a bit deeper and you'll discover that there is no real love there, and their children feel it.

I've heard many people talk about their parents in a similar way. They often describe them as being strangers or guardians. Not loving parents, the way they should be.

Having children simply to win respect from society is selfish.

This is an awfully personal question for people who had a painful relationship with their fathers.

I'll pass. Not willing to bare my soul.

None here, my dad was a kind and generous man that helped thousands of people.

I didn't have a dad to give me daddy issues ?

I miss my dad, he died too young...he did however have a great and full life. My mother was the disciplanariun, my dad spoiled me and my sisters.

What dad?

My dad had a bad time of it in the war he was depressive and an abusive parent to me; my mum was manic and he did nothing to help our family dynamics - I left home as soon as I was able to.

My father was in two halves - one a kind gentle man who taught me to read at an early age so I had a way of being unseen by my Bi-polar, mainly manic mother. the other half of him was as an abuser and I have never forgiven either of them. Dead now but can't seem to forget them .

I met my father when I was 17. By then I was already a parent myself. He was a good grandfather to my boys. But he was never my father. I just didn't have one.

Wow. Yeah, lots of issues. My dad (90 years young) is a textbook example of hypocritical Evangelical/Fundie white male. Homophobic,racist, misogynistic, etc. I do love him, but am looking forward to when he dies. I honestly will feel a lot more free to be myself. I’m 55 by the way.

My father married my mother too young, was not ready, they had my sister & I early in the marriage. Within 2 years he was seriously dating his bookkeeper from work, even bringing her home for dinner. They divorced, mother got custody, lasted about 6 months, she could not care for us, spent a lot of time out in bars, drinking. She called my father to come get us, and against his new wife's wishes, came and got us. Our new step mother resented us from the beginning and barely tolerated us. They began to have children of their own, and she made us second class citizens, caretakers to their children, house chore performers, and kept us seperated from their children. She never missed an opportunity to belittle or humiliate us in front of their young children. For his peace of mind, and his marriage to her, our father allowed this to persist. We were never allowed to spend time in his prescense, isolated in our room at night while the rest of them were together in the evening. We left that home at an early age, my sister was shipped off to another family at 14, I was booted out at 17. We never went back or had much of a connection to them. We heard he passed away a couple years ago, a friend called to notify he had seen the obituary.

....my issues resulted in my marrying my ex-prof from my first master's degree....thirty years my senior! We're divorced now, still friendly.

Although I have an emotional tie to my dad, he was a piece of shit.. After divorce in 1960, he refused to pay my mom $20 a month child support. after 5, I saw him about a total of 20 days until I was a teen. Remarried, he took "evil stepmother" to Europe.

My mum and dad divorced when I was three years old - Fortunately her father, my grandfather stepped into the void - he was my God. He did everything a great dad should do and he set my life values going forward - he left us too soon, in fact as my first son was born. we named him after my grandfather - George Liam