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are you afraid of death?

being atheist or agnostic we know that chriatainality and angels and demons gods and devils and most likely an afterlife are all just wishful thinking. seeing as we know that death is indeed the end for us does that idea frightend you ? what are your thoughts on death ? personaly i gotta admitt it scares me . i know there is nothing i can do to avoid it . im so sad when a relative dies knowing ill never see them again. and this is why i think so many people wanna believe in a god and heaven. we want so badly to believe us and our loved ones will live on that many do so just to comfort themselfs. your thoughts ?

DavidDeLa89 6 Dec 28
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369 comments

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1

When I was young, sometimes the inescapability, duration and finality of death would overwhelm me in a surge of panic. When I woke up in the night I would sometimes have to fight not to think of it. I'm more resigned to death now, but I can still remember the terrified feeling I experienced and sometimes I wonder if it has gone for good or is just lying dormant. Billions of people have died before me and mostly they seem to have coped with it, so I hope when my time comes I will manage.

51

I think it's understandable that anyone misses deceased loved ones and is saddened by such loss, but I don't think death itself is to be feared. I think of it as a dreamless sleep, with no consciousness to feel any loss or experience harm. The process of dying though is more worrying to me. I don't want the pain, suffering, instinctual panic. I just want a peaceful death, as quick and painless as possible.

That’s how I always thought of death. Death is just a dreamless time of being asleep.

I agree. I also don't like the idea of a painful and lingering death.

I miss the loved ones that have passed before me and I take comfort in the memories I have and the knowledge that they feel no pain.

@Glademan It depends on the situation. True of many chronic diseases, but not all, and not necessarily the case for serious accidents and sudden ailments.

@Glademan But who's talking about being paralyzed by fear and not living life? All I pointed out is that I'd really like to not suffer when I die, but that death itself is nothing to worry about.

I too do not want to linger and will probably handle it in the appropriate way if I have a long debilitating illness. I lost my oldest daughter in 2015. She had end stage liver failure. When I went to her she was yellow.I knew say had taken something. I begged her to allow me to call an ambulance. She was angelic. She smiled beautifully and shook her head no. I stay for a long time while she slept and was in and out of consciousness. She had a diabetes 2 case a day drunk for a husband. He body slammed her and beat her. For my Wendy, marriage was until death do us part. I finally left and found he in the morning.I want no one sitting and waiting for me to die., but dying not afraid. Lingering yes. But I will handle that, if necessary.

I see people are concerned about how they will die, pain,etc. In most cases of terminal illness Hospice is available which makes things less difficult for the person dying. In the case of an accident, I assume that person would be either picked up by EMTs who have meds on board the ambulance for pain, and the same at the hospital. Of course, there are other more horrific ways I suppose a person could die, but there's still no reason to fear the unforeseeable.

@Annaise My mother died from cancer in the care of hospice and it was agonizing for her. It's not about fearing the unknown; I dread the known torture, and I'll take whatever measures I deem appropriate to mitigate my suffering so long as I'm able.

I absolutely agree

I agree with all of this except the idea of a dreamless sleep. I think after death there is nothing, just nothing, a complete lack of anything and that is very hard for us humans to conceptualize.

32

as to the actual condition of death, I like the Mark Twain quote "I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."

when it comes to fear, I'd say depression is worse than death and likely worse than any other fate, and I've gotten so used to depression that I don't fear even it any more

Actually, I regard death like not being born. There is no you yet and that's how it'll be after death too. Just no more you or me.

@macastle That's why I included the quote yeah.

Great quote forMark Twain, and very true. Hello darkness my old friend!

When my time comes, I will greet death like a long lost lover

23

Maybe how I will die, but not death itself.

22

I was dead for thousands of years before I was born, and was not in the least inconvenienced by it. - Mark Twain. I feared death when I was religious because I was sure I was going to Hell. Now I only fear the pain which may come before it.

18

I'm not afraid of death. I'm more afraid of not living fully during my short stint here.

Bebel Level 4 Dec 31, 2017

Idem

18

As I've said before, I'm not afraid of death, but I AM afraid of dying.

15

not for myself. That being said, it pains me to think on how my 'eternal child' son will handle it when I am gone. I know his sister will care for him in my absence, but what will go on in his mind and heart? I've been a single dad since he was four - and he's non-verbal, so explaining things early on just isn't an option.

So no - I do not fear death for me, or my own sake. But I fear my death for those I love.

DerekD Level 7 Dec 29, 2017

thats a good point. im afraid of dying and not knowing how my relatives will die. or just worries about how theyll be and knowing i won't be able to help them if they are in need

My daughter is verbal but ... She has said she will not survive her mother's death but she
needs me just as much. We worked most of my life to find my daughter a good landing
pad and I think we succeeded. When we die (and I am 91 and her mother is 85) there are
good skilled people ready to take care of her.

You might say - now I can die happy,

But I know not everybody succeeds and my heart goes out to them.

14

I will welcome my death. I hope I die well.

12

I don’t fear being dead. And I don’t fear pain (it’s a sure indication that I’m alive!). If I had a choice, however, I’d prefer not to die. I enjoy life, and would never be bored in a million years. It’s better to invest in longevity research than in fear.

skado Level 9 Dec 29, 2017
12

The process of dying, sure, but of death itself, what is there to be frightened of? One just ceases to exist at the moment of death but you are not aware you are dead as you will not be aware of anything.

yes thats true. that idea still scares me for somw odd reason though lol.

@DavidDeLa89 I think it is impossible to think of or imagining yourself as not existing.

@jlynn37 you didn't exist before you were born and you didn't notice.

11

if it is long and painful ....hell yes I'm afraid

11

I saw my sister die of cancer and at the start she was terrified of dying, but in the end she was in so much pain that she looked forward to it. So yeah I'm a little afraid of dying but if dying ends my pain then bring it on i say.

im sorry for what happened to your sister. my heart truly goes out to you. remember the memories and remember shes no longer in pain my friend

Thank you David, and yes I have heaps of great memories fall back on.

11

I was not afraid to be born why would I fear death. Death is not something to be feared only avoided.

10

Were you conscience of life when you were in the womb and afraid to born? Probably not. It is a passage from life in warm fluid to life on earth. Death is a passage also. From life on earth to leaving the body and the energy that animates you moving on to a different form. Perhaps becoming a part of the earth that nourishes plants. As long as I have plenty of drugs to keep me out of pain, and let me sleep away my life, I'm not too worried about it.

Oh yes, i think that too. Thank you.

10

I have a bit of a jaded view on death. Years ago I worked in a trauma unit in Indiana, and during that time I'd seen dozens of people literally die right before my eyes. At my grandfather's funeral, I was the only one in the church who was not bawling his eyes out. My uncle told me that I was a 'black-hearted prick' for not caring enough for my grandfather. [I responded that if he really believed in Heaven, he should be glad that my grandfather was there instead of in a hospital with a respirator and feeding tubes.] I have no regrets about my relationships with people, and I have no reason to cry at a funeral. The legacy of the departed is kept in the memories of the survivors. Personally, I have no fear of death...Sometimes, I actually look forward to it...

10

That'd be unfair. You get an unknown time on earth but eternity afterlife? We don't even decompose at the same rate and you can be resuscitated by a full half an hour of CPR not that 30-second stuff on TV. It is an interesting life and it's up to us if we want to leave anything behind. We're willing to extinct/endanger mosquitoes (the ones that bite) via sterile competition and that has saved so many human lives. We all have tons of seeds just like a tree and we don't know if we'll spread a lot of them, burn, become a house or a millennium tree. Death is scary, of-course, it is and some of us will be scrap wood (and poison ivy) but we all existed. Is your life more important than the person a few houses down? Maybe, maybe not to the world but it is your life. Your life matters to you (and the trillions of micro-organisms in you keeping you alive) so screw the rest of the Mc-mansions if you must. Think before you talk or act (allowing for split-second stuff like catching people, CPR, getting the last cookie), know your decisions are your own so eat, drink, think, live. Metaphorical? Maybe. Hope this makes sense. Also if you can trust that others want to be alive too you'll know that others are acting so we'll do our best to understand and extend our lives anyway.

9

No, I am not afraid of dying. Only how I will die.

8

Not afraid , basically for two reasons . First , I feel I've accomplished most of what I wanted to do during my lifetime . Second , I live with several uncureable medical conditions , which are painful to deal with , and will only get worse .

8

It seems that all religions and philosophical systems attempt to answer one or all of, what I call, the big three great unknowns: (1) Where did we come from? (2) Why do we exist/ What is the meaning of Life? (3) What, if anything, happens after we die? Am I afraid of death? It’s certainly not something I’m looking forward to. But I know it’s inevitable. It’s the “not knowing what, if anything, happens next” that scares me. Growing up in a “hell fire” religion I was more than scared of going to hell after death. Now, I no longer put much stock in that scenario. But having that drilled into me for years is hard to shake. On a different note, as a nurse I’ve read that most people don’t fear death, as much as they fear dying in pain or dying alone. I get that. In my opinion, one of the main draws of religion is it’s hope of comfort when dying.

sadly im afraid to die and how ill die lol

I think dying alone is my only fear, not death itself. My husband died slowly from cancer, that was agony watch, but afterwards knowing his battle was over, I felt great relief. Neither of us was religious by this time in our lives. Now, I think of the wonderful memories and feel he has returned stardust. That, I find comforting. I am not afraid be stardust.

7

Honestly I try not to think about it too often but every now and then the thought creeps into my head.. Yeah I'm afrad of dying.. I'm not too afraid to admit that

7

I'm afraid of how I mite die but not death.

missing commas while expressing humility or using the wrong homonym to express uncertainty? lol (a mite is an insect, so this string of words only works as a sentence if you call yourself "mite" )

I'm dyslexic

true . the manner ill die is what scares me most

do you know how many people pull me on my writing and or spelling? it gets me really annoyed. being dyslexic is not funny. it's like asking a deaf person to listen or asking a cripple to walk properly.

I likely would have at some point too, tbh, cuz I can be a bit of a grammar nazi, but now that I know I'll hopefully remember it's you and not do it xD
I've gotten better though. And there are certainly faaar more people on the internet who don't do it than who do, a large many cuz they're not very good at it themselves lol. I'm always doing it out of actually wanting to help the person, which I think a lot of people don't understand.

6

I'm terrified of death. It robs us all of everything. Our consciousness, our agency, our ability to interact with and change our world, our ability to protect our loved ones. I don't think of it as a dreamless sleep, it is nothing. We don't even have the concept of nothingness. It just makes you disappear, nothing left but a memory in the consciousness of the living.

I believe that a part of me will live on in my children and grandchildren ( DNA ) and so on with new generations. Also, that in a sense, we live on in the evidence we leave of our existence. I have lots and hope leave being missed for the good and positive things I have done in my lifetime.

6

Not at all. Actual death is nothing more than turning off your light switch. Our remains are nothing more than the road kill of life. I am afraid of dying a slow and agonizing death that can not legally be hastened. We put down out pets if they suffer the end of their lives but continue the cruelty on humans because of other peoples religious beliefs they have made into law. We should all have the right to end our lives when we decide. Prepare your family for your death and their loss by helping them to accept the normality of the circle of life. You are not going to some mysterious place. You are just permanently gone and left all your stuff behind. We all have to deal with such losses in our lives. What causes the most damage is watching the prolonged suffering of loved ones. It would be so easy to circumvent this if we had the right to choose the end of our lives before it becomes unbearable for them.

I keep hearing about euthanasia in the last few months. I actually wrote a paper about it in high school years ago and it keeps making me think about how I've written several things in my life (from 6th grade on) proposing or in support of certain progressive ideas years before it seems to be widely discussed...it's interesting, to say the least.

6

Nobody that I know of has gotten out alive..

6

Not at all. I don't see the point in fearing the inevitable. I'm not ready to check out anytime soon, but when my number is up, it's up. Fearing what I cannot stop from happening just detracts from enjoying whatever time I've got left.

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