In various comments I’ve mentioned that it was the non-existence of Santa Claus that triggered my first doubts about god and religion. But it was the following passage from the astronomer Fred Hoyle’s The Nature of the Universe, that made me realize that I wasn’t alone. I was probably about 13 when I read it (though it dates from about 1950), and it was the last sentence in particular that blew my mind.
And now I should like to give some consideration to contemporary religious beliefs. There is a good deal of cosmology in the Bible. My impression of it is that it is a remarkable conception, considering the time when it was written. But I think it can hardly be denied that the cosmology of the ancient Hebrews is only the merest daub compared with the sweeping grandeur of the picture revealed by modern science. This leads me to ask the question: Is it in any way reasonable to suppose that it was given to the Hebrews to understand mysteries far deeper than anything I can comprehend, when it is quite clear that they were completely ignorant of many matters that seem commonplace to me? No, it seems to me that religion is but a blind attempt to find an escape from the truly dreadful situation in which we find ourselves. Here we are in this wholly fantastic Universe with scarcely a clue as to whether our existence has any real significance. No wonder then that many people feel the need for some belief that gives them a sense of security, and no wonder that they become very angry with people like me who say that this security is illusory. But I do not like the situation any better than they do. The difference is that I cannot see how the smallest advantage is to be gained from deceiving myself. We are in rather the situation of a man in a desperate, difficult position on a steep mountain. A materialist is like a man who becomes crag-fast and keeps on shouting: ‘I’m safe, I’m safe!’ The religious person is like a man who goes to the other extreme and rushes up the first route that shows the faintest hope of escape, and who is entirely reckless of the yawning precipices that lie below him.