Awwww, my condolences for your Dad. And, I think this was a story on a show with Seth Andrews, "The Thinking Atheist."

She’s an asshole

I would be super pissed.

I was going to quote Voltaire's last words to the priest but there is doubt as to their authenticity. Instead I'll leave the following link to some interesting deathbed quotes real and imagined.
[nairaland.com]

You have the right to be angry ...but did you guys, you and your dad, talked about that before he got too sick? Or did you ask her if she had his okay?

There really are no straight down the line 'should's' or 'oughts,' we do what we do often from a very straight place within ourselves . Feel your anger and sometime you might be able to let it go - just carry on doing whatever you need to do for yourself - Many times I have been in a situation where someone with good intentions has 'blessed' me - I try to find the way to make it work for me and then let it go; like the man said "whilst your'e bearing a grudge the grudgee is out dancing!" it seems it is ourselves who give ourselves pain - Let it go if your husband was atheist its not going to harm him now.

Walking around with anger or hurt/hate is a bad thing for you. The sooner you forgive and forget the better for you. She's still controlling you if you have bad feelings towards her in you. Don't do that...

I think that baptizing someone against their will is pretty despicable, especially when it's done at a time with the person being baptized doesn't have the conscious ability to agree or disagree. For those who claim to believe in "free will," this is profoundly antagonist to everything Jesus taught, which suggests that she does not believe what she said she believed, and was willing to get what she wanted through any means necessary.

If he was an atheist, no amount of preaching and crossing the forehead with water or dunking in a baptismal font (doubt they dunked him) or loud praying, will make a bit of difference to him. Be happy because you ARE a happy person...let it lie...

I don't think it makes much difference to your dad. Your dad's wife is still alive, and if this brings her comfort, is that so bad? You may not want anything to do with her, but she is a human being with feelings.

I’d probably be annoyed at that too...but not angry. It didn’t hurt him, and if it made her feel better, the ritual was simply a harmless way of grieving. Who is right or wrong, you won’t know until death anyway. So that isn’t worth stressing about.

If you believe what Christ taught being religious has nothing to do with salvation, "there are many paths to our fathers home", " he who is first will be last in heaven" the parable of the samaritan, all point to the fact if he did exist he didn't give a damn about religion or the religious.

I feel if it brought her comfort it is ok..From what I understand the person has to accept Christ into their heart.. NoMatter how much someone prays for you, it's still your choice. If he choose to be "saved" then it was good for both of them. She also stood by him in the bad/ sickness times. She loved him and did her best, by her knowledge to see he had eturnal life and rest .

Take responsibility for yourself. If she is correct and there is an afterlife (if there is an afterlife, I don't believe it comes in a form described by any religion), then maybe she did him some good. If she is wrong, than all that happened is that he got a little bit wet before he died.

To me that's "spiritual rape..." Overriding someone's will and forcing your will upon them... when they cannot speak for themselves.

I would be angry on his behalf. I have seen versions of this behavior, and so I have explicitly asked my family to please not do this to me. I might try to be forgiving of the person who was just trying to save a loved one from the hell they believed in. But I do consider it a betrayal and so that would be hard. If it were simply a case of "in case they are right and we are wrong," we would all pose as believers and live Pascal's wager. The reason I don't is because I don't think any god worth the name would be convinced by such a cowardly escape clause.

This is just more proof that christianity compels it's members to force their religious dogma upon everyone regardless of the recipient's wishes. This outrageous practice in extreme cases has resulted in the death of millions through burning witches, genocide of native Americans, and crusades against competing theologies. When will it ever end? I'm with you on this....

Ugh, it’s nothing to really get upset about. If your dad was an atheist, I’m sure he was aware of the truth. It’s a very well possibility she did what she did so she could have some kind of closer with comfort to think he was right with the Lord and went on to a better place. But I do see why you’d be angered by this. Pushy people piss me off, too. I got nothing by a pushy attitude from my boyfriend’s mom. She’d send me text message late at night, asking,” Have you talked to Jesus today? He love you. I’m just trying to make sure I’m doing our friend’s job.” Then she’d aleays pass out little religious books every time I would go over. It’d either be a religious book or movie. She even had me go to her room to listen to to a fifteen minute video with a man’s voice that was supposed to be portrayed as God, claiming how much he love me. Be okay and just know your dad went knowing the truth, regardless of a little rubbish religion ritual with a dab of water and meaningless words spoken out to a god who isn’t there.

I wold also be angry. She went against your father's wishes. Just be glad she is no longer part of your life.

What if she saved his soul for eternity?

I would be angry too, but ultimately it doesn't affect your father anymore. If it makes her feel better then although it's very selfish, at least some small comfort came from it. As for cutting her out of your life, that's entirely up to you and how you feel about her.

I would have been upset as well. It was selfish of her. I don't believe it was here place to do that. The last part of your question interested me the most. There are hundreds upon hundreds of religions all have their path of belief to the afterlife...which one of the hundreds was she adhering too? Just a thought.

It makes no difference to him what she did. It was for her piece of mind so that she could deal with his death better. If nothing else, your father perhaps allowed her to do this, because he knew it would help her. I think it's telling of what kind of man your father was, as a kind, caring, and giving man who loved his wife.

I think your justified in being unhappy about her choice.

Feelings aren't facts so always remember that feelings aren't wrong of course it anger you. Forget about in case she's right cuz even if there is a God or whatever power it's not like the one in the Bible I call myself an agnostic atheist because I believe in not knowing personally I don't like it when people seem sure there isn't a God or sure there is one it's an unknowable. But just like you want people to let you be you let her be her. By the way I like your profile I'm a contradiction too .