Knackered old, middle aged female. Grumpy, hates travelling and hiking. Seeks adoring male stripper/fireman hunk/male model adonis in their late 20s who is only attracted to haggard type women with red hair and no one else ever.

Has nice Duplex, one side empty.

Apparently it doesn’t matter since most men only look at the pictures. Haha!

"Has to be seen to be believed" just spend 20 minutes with me. No seriously, any longer than that and you'll realize I'm really bitchy.

Lecherous old duffer seeking promiscuous middle aged woman with body of a beauty queen and mind of a Cairo sewer... well you did ask.

Mine would be daft silly clever funny guy wanted. Must like gin

Witty, debonair, clean-shaven man seeks outgoing middle aged wisecracking blonde for exchanging witty banter while fishing, dining, travel, and more. Homebrewing skills a plus, along with knowing the scientific names in Latin for a wide range of aquatic organisms. Please have multiple dogs and an assortment of mismatched kitchen appliances.

Obviously, I am going to die alone.

Mine should probably read "brutally honest grump with a dumb sense of humour seeks someone willing to put up with me. Preferably vegetarian, skeptical as fuck, and into really weird metal music. Please be under 5'8", I'm tired of looking up at people all the damn time."

Read mine. And do the opposite

My wife always said she liked my ass but I'm now starting to question this as a Master Builder.

I'm currently unavailable because I met the perfect woman for me!

Seeking a sexy lady that cooks and cleans, and turns into a ham sandwich after sex.

Female seeking for a smart, classy, elegant, fun and good cooker SALSA DANCER!!! yesssssssssssssssss
too much ?? LOL

You want an odd job man then ?

Man seeking woman who loves the outdoors especially offshore fishing. Smart and witty are a plus. Fascination with science and the wonders of our natural world are desired traits. Education level is not a factor but should realize that google is not a university. Interested in Long Beach walks. No Trumpers need apply. Please post picture of the biggest fish you have ever caught and the place where you go for serenity. If you don’t have any fish pictures that’s ok we will get you one. ?

Seeking soul mate who doesn't mind waking up to Walter Matthau look-a-like every morning. Also, must consider the aroma and application of Bengay cream an aphrodisiac.

I would scrap whatever dating profile I had after getting bad mouthed to the the point of deleting the original profile and come back new. There’s a T shirt in the end game.

Middle aged knight errant in shining armour with a few dents from tilting at windmills and burnishing from dragon fire, seeks mature queen of all she surveys, with feminine wiles and clever repartee for further adventures and romantic escapades.
(self absorbed princesses and other pretenders need not apply)

Live in female carer/companion/escort/dog walker needed. Patience essential. Ideal woman should be optimistic and have a sense of humor. Independent wealth desirable. Cat lover's need dot apply.

perfectly imperfect no gerbles yet or chickens or other farm animals

Looking for a Netflix buddy. The chill comes later.

More practical than romantic..?

gotta admit - sounds practical - minus the dog qualification

Read my profile and be the male version....except retired and not tied down.

The wording's immaterial, I just need to look like Brad Pitt (or A.N.Other)