Which one of those two is the one that you have to tell your mentor things like when you masturbate or have unmarried sex?

@BlueWave Holy cow! I'm pretty sure not UCC, and I heard of that after 25 years married to a former 3x a week Church of Christer.

But maybe you're messing with me?

@GinaKay No, seriously. One of my former BFFs was a member of one or the other for about five years -- they are all up in people's business -- it's how they guide them in keeping on the straight and narrow.

@BlueWave Ewww! Lol.

I miss the community of church. I lost many of my church friends when I "became the enemy". Again, we were at a quite conservative church so if it's more progressive, I can tolerate the message for the most part.

@VelociraptorRemy I hope you find it. I am sure there will be something for you somewhere

The question should be, why did he marry me? I didn't care if he wanted to go to church. It was when I was expected to confirm to the Pentecostal views of his church that I rebelled. Things got bad for a while but we compromised and found a church that we both liked. It saved out marriage, so I'm hoping that we can find that compromise again. Because despite our differing religious and political beliefs, I do love him and always will, if only for the reason that he's the father of my daughters.

@VelociraptorRemy Your last sentence makes me wonder how much you love him or enjoy him or are aligned in your worldview and values just for you—regardless of your children together.

@BlueWave he is still a great friend, and a good husband and dad. We just have differing viewpoints that will sometimes result in arguments. It's frustrating for both of us and it doesn't help that I keep going back and forth on what I want out of the marriage.

We attended a Unitarian church years ago, and I had to admit it was a bit liberal even for me. So I know he wouldn't like it. He's coming from a fundamentalist background.....I don't want to cause a culture aneurysm!

That's a seriously good question that I'm trying to answer myself. I was agnostic when we were dating and knew he thought it was "pretty important" that I be a Christian. I guess both of us had the naive ideal that we could change each other, and because I have abandoment issues, I went along with it and eventually tried to be like the other evangelicals until about 3 years ago when I started questioning again. 16 years later we have come full circle but he's determined to make it work. I don't know what I want.

I'm planning to start attending a Unitarian church soon. From what I've heard and read about them, hey are open-minded and tolerant of different points of view or beliefs. They welcome atheists, theists, agnostics,and various other points of view. They are liberal in their outlook and are interested in helping members become more enlightened and informed about people and the world. They stress the intrinsic dignity of human beings and the marvels and beauty of the world. Their philosophy also opposes racism and stresses serving ones fellowman. It seems to me that this way might be worth considering.