As others have said, sexual compatibility is a lot more than your individual drive.

True fetishes where someone cannot orgasm without the stimuli are fairly rare and if the other isn't into that there's always therapy, I'd suggest a Certified Sex Therapist.

Maybe I'm naive here, but IME while sex is essential, if everything else is going well then sex also goes well. Even if one person isn't in the mood, it's usually easy to get turned on bc the person you care about is hot and wants to turn you on.

If your lover really wants to do something and they're not selfish, then you should make them happy. If what you want absolutely disgusts them, then your respect for and concern for them should win out over your desires.

Communication is essential, I've actually adopted some of the religious teachings on healthy sexuality I had in seminary where open, non-judgmental dialog is critical. If someone is unhappy with sex, it needs to be discussed thoroughly and without judgment from either party. There shouldn't be any topics that are totally closed off IMO and that includes things in the bedroom, but just bc people discuss fantasies, that doesn't mean they have to play them all out.

I believe that it is important to be satisfied or sexually fulfilled because if you are lacking the things that you need to be happy and you can't make someone else happy! For example if you don't like what you are watching on TV you change the channel, if you don't like a book you are reading you find a new book. And the same will happen with sex, if you aren't having enough or it isn't satisfying then you will eventually find it with someone else!

Personally, I think the question is fine the way it is because sexual compatibility comprises of everything from frequency to methods to lifestyle. It’s also kind of pointless to go into much detail when realistically we don’t even have any candidate nearby to date I think these are the kind of personal questions to ask after two people have gone out already and want to establish something more.

Is sexual chemistry's important to you?
How important is sex to you in a relationship.

Just want to say, very well written, and intuitive. Maybe you should write these things.

Compatibility and drive can be two different topics completely. Drive doesn't have much to do with proclivities.Why not ask both?

If she doesn't like me wearing my Batman outfit in bed we're not compatible

How you are in bed is often a reflection of the person you are with.

I think sexual compatibility works. It has a broad description made of of many factors so while it isn't specific it still is applicable. Unfortunately the only way to know whether you have that with someone is by doing it. I think it is a pretty critical component of a relationship. If that part works well alot of other problems are not very important, therefore, being easier to resolve or ignore completely.

I prefer the phrase 'physical chemistry' or I suppose 'physical attraction' works as well.

I also feel it important to note that there are people who identify as asexual, people with diminished sex drive due to a disorder (or its treatment) and I expect sexual compatibility is either a null-sum issue or is of very low priority.

Granted if people are interested they canh lern wht their partner likes and thus become sexually compatible. However, I had had partners who were only concerned with their own gratification.

Perhaps the question should be "Do you think it is important for your sexual partner(s) to enjoy sex as much as you do yourself?" But, would a selfish person answer that honestly?

Either there is fire or not....the next thing down the line is for how long.....if both have the same drive and the fire is rekindled in regular basis then that's just perfect....as perfect as it can be

I think you’re right. Another way to put it is: are you (a ) (1) Nymphomaniac, (2) Normal or (3) Frigid.
?

Did you ever flash your tits in public? (Mardi Gras beads)
Do you like or love anal sex?
Do you swallow cum?
Would you go to a swingers party.
Ever had a threesome?
Ever fucked a person from another race?

If your answer to these questions is no way, never or I'm not going to answer that then we're done here. If you're not mature enough to answer these common experiences honestly then you and I certainly wouldn't be compatable. This is life not a guessing game.

Boy this topic is actually discussed in a mature clinical manner. I would thick the obvious answer is date someone religious. For the fact that they are gullible and like to get nailed.

I think you've thought it through about right.

The way I took the question is if one of you is more sexual or less sexual would that be means to end the relationship.

Perhaps some people are looking for Platonic relationships?

You have to understand methods of thinking for this. Imagine a woman naked and drunk high on a balcony and a man sees her. Immediately he calls his friends over and says "look at this." They all smile and are happy.

Now switch that scene and it is a naked man drunk high on the balcony. The woman that called the police told them "it was just awful and I could hardly look." She was in tears as she talked to them.

Apply this to sexual compatibility.

I think you have stated the issue quite adroitly. I concur, the question is the compatibility of the sexual drive for each individual in the relationship.

When two partners have similar drives it makes life very fulfilling and beautiful between two adults. I love that Dan and I are evenly matched.

It could be phrased you like dick,minge, both or neither ? That should cover all bases

I suspect most relationships have some sort of compromise in this area, and for the ones that don't, most of THEM probably have severe deficits in other areas.

Also: our DNA has this strange bird-call, up from the cellular, to the amygdala pushing behavior modifiers into our brains. This stuff is hard-coded, and requires a lot of effort to be user-modified (you can work out, but you can't get taller).

Drive will vary over time due to a number of factors. I believe commitment is much more important over the long term than compatible drive levels.

I concur

I look at it as part of my trifecta: physical compatibility. Not only sex, but also activity. Sex is important, but it’s not the only thing.