Just an ice breaker really, not intrusive but shows an interest. I don't think it's any deeper than that.

Although if I met a woman in a wet suit playing a banjo I would ask 'What the fuck do you do for a living?'

I think just to have something to talk about

What you do for a living is probably how you spend the majority of time compared to any other activity. It's an easy thing to talk about. If they do something different than me it's easy to ask a follow up question and let them talk about what they do and make them important. If They do something I do or have done we can relate.

Tells many things, if she's working vs. solely taking care of kids, the type of work can give a clue as to intelligence, advanced degree etc., if she has time to date (some jobs are time intensive) and of course the normal small talk to see if you may have some interest, topic or industry and the people that go with them in common.

Forget that. What would you say if a guy asks you how much money you've got in your savings account on a third date?!

Since most of our hours of the day are spent working, I find it fascinating not just what they do, by why that chose that career path. If it's part-time or if they have a few part-time jobs. Do they live for the weekends? Are they downtrodden because of their job? Do they bring their work home with them? Do they have a work-life balance?
I usually ask later and see if I can learn something new from them, different perspective on how they work, even if it's in an industry unrelated.

Just saw this and giggled

I am looking to understand who she is. I realize that the short answer won't give any insight because we are not defined by the job we do. However just the fact that she gave me her job title instead of explaining the job or going into details the me a lot about her.

If she is responding in one phrase bits or short answers that says to me that she isn't interested in continuing the conversation.

Me: "So, what do you do for a living?"
Her: "Lawyer" or "Accountant"
Me: "Interesting" and now I'm looking for someone else to talk to.

Me: "So, what do you do for a living?"
Her: "I represent immigrants who are applying for citizenship. I speak Spanish and can translate for them in the US legal system, help them fill out paperwork, and generally give people hope of a new life"
Me: "Wow, that sounds like really satisfying work! Did you find that learning a new language made you appreciate the culture more?"

This last scenario does indeed tell me about who she is and in the process also gives me more covering hooks to explore. When I'm asked the same question I use it for similar purposes, to continue the conversation.

Her: "So, what do you do for a living?"
Me: "I work for Coke" pause for the inevitable declaration of Pepsi or Coke followed by which product is their favorite. "I work with the touch screen vending machines. They send data back every day." I then launch into how exciting my (maybe not exciting for everyone) data analytics job is... How I make folks happy by helping them out with Excel questions, how I enjoy automating tedious tasks, and my ongoing attempts to keep a good work/life balance.

I dislike asking anyone what they do for a living, until I’ve gotten to know them a bit. I wait for it to come up. I have acquaintances where I STILL don’t know what they do. It’s not high on my list of need-to-know information about a person.

I actually don't date any more, I kind of gave that up a while back. I did do a lot of dating when I was younger. I was very shy around people back then, in fact I don't think I ever asked any one out. It was usually a friend would set me up with someone they new, so They already knew what I was like, what I did for a living etc.

If they didn't know I had no problem telling them. I just figured that if they didn't like me because of how much money I made, then I'm glad to know that right off the bat.

But as far as how I felt about whet they did for a living, Honestly, I really couldn't care less. It's the person that I liked, not their job.

Well let me say I'm a sales men.. One of the best topics for getting interpersonal with your coustomer is asking their occupation.. It lets you know many things about the person, one of them being just how open they are. It is a great conversation starter and a tactic taught by sales men.

I ask the question to help feel out an understanding of their identity. It’s not to pigeonhole a person, but to find out who they are. That’s also very typical of male-to-male introductions.

Becuase I would expect her to ask me. I’m in the military and that means a lot going into a relationship.

It’s an exchange of information, small talk. ...if the answer is stunt pilot as apposed to baker it tells me allot, one would make me fat and the other nauseous

As a window into their daily life..to see if there are any commonalities between our work lives..
They may do work that you find very interesting..
It's more an implicit curiosity about the person's life than specifically the actual job...its entirely normal and innocent..is it not?

Good question. A couple of reasons:

-Habit
-A conversation starter, a good jumping-off point to more questions and conversation.

In early conversations I am trying to determine a few things: Is she smart? Interesting? Is there something special, grabs my interest? Is this someone I am going to learn from? Occupation can help determine some of this.

It can also serve as a quick eliminator. There are some occupations I avoid.

I think it's a fall-back, a way to find something to talk about. I don't usually go there unless she brings it up. I'd rather find out who someone is before I ask how they pay their bills.

I did notice you phrased it "what do you do for a living?" People usually ask "what do you do?" When I get the question without the living part, my stock answer is "mostly make inappropriate comments."

It's not a question I generally jump to, unless there's a reason (such as she says the reason we may not have met before is that she normally works nights). I think it's just generally a good small-talk, non-closed question which focuses the attention on the other person while you're scrabbling around to think of something better to say.
Sometimes the answer is truly interesting and opens into great conversation, or they may say something like "I'm an operating system marketing co-ordinator for small manufacturing companies", in which case I will forget it immediately and could end up marrying the person without ever needing to know another thing about her job.
Whatever she does, the way she answers will probably tell you a lot more than the answer itself.

I don't ask right away if l ask at all. I've known men and women for 5 or 6 years here and l have no idea what they do for a living.

Just gives something to talk about

I agree. people tend to be identified by their occupation which is a bit sad. There are much more important aspects to a person than what they do for a living.

For me it's a reach to find mutual interests.

If I were to ask it would not be right away. But eventually it would likely come up. It helps to know the person a little better but is not necessarily a big indicator of who that person is. The next question might be did you choose this occupation and/ or why are you doing this for a living.

I never make a point of it. I just let conversations flow and go where they go. I have never been turned off by a womens profession, unless they were a lawyer.

I think people ask because its largely, socially acceptable to do so. It's almost like asking a student "What's your major?"

Also assumptions are made that others are in careers that they love and that are part of their nature, their being. Before I was a teacher, I hated being asked "what I do." What I was doing before that had nothing to do with who I was fundamentally as a person.

These days talking about learning and teaching is a subject I'll talk your ear off.