What is your one biggest red flag in a potential mate?
Mine is when a man says he would never go to therapy because it couldn't possibly be helpful, that he's too smart for that. I think it's a sure sign of narcissism.
Being rude to waiting staff, which reveals narcissism, entitlement, snobbery and general arse-brainedness. Conveniently, it's a tendency which often reveals itself on a first date.
I 100% agree to this. One of my exes families treated waiters horribly. I was often embarrassed to be out with them, so I would try to be EXTRA polite to compensate.
unkind to service people, children or the elderly
A mustache thicker than mine. I know it's shallow, but that is where l draw the line.
Well thats me out!
Mine would be when a woman asks me if I would be willing to go to therapy on the first date.
Ha!
They always show their pet in every photo and is always with them. To me that is telling me that their pet will ALWAYS be more important to them than I would ever be and if there were ever a conflict between me and the pet, I would have to go. Why get involved with anyone like that to begin with. Save yourself a lot of trouble and fine someone who will put you above all else.
I've not experienced that but my red flag is lies. I've had so many men lie to me, mostly just trying to make themselves look good. Later I find out that whatever they brag about doesn't exist.
A lesbian or bisexual who won't fully accept her own sexuality or believe that her relationship with.me is 'a real relationship.'
Smoking. I grew up around smokers and I don’t want to deal with that again.
Pushy manipulative types. Red flag. I have an ex who still tries to make me do things. Now his new thing is trying to make me please him by buying a road bike. And I should buy it NOW. Because he wants me to buy it NOW. And he wants me to spend a couple thousand on it. And he wants me to buy it at a certain store that he likes. He'll keep sending shitty manipulative little texts about my buying a bike as though pleasing him is something i still care about. I don't know what I ever saw in him.
When he can’t answer a super straight forward question “what are you expectations/where should I set mine”. I’m kind of fed-up with all the “fake it til you take it” bs. I really don’t understand why it is so hard to just be honest and not pretend like you are looking for more.
I like my man straight, just like my coffee
Strong & black?
@GoldenDoll lol I don’t have a race preference, but let’s change that to straight like my tequila - can’t do whiskey as whiskey makes me do crazy shit like decide to move intercontinental over night ???
But yeah.. as someone who never had a “female role model” I guess I’ll never understand those “signals” and not get hurt. Sigh.
With my mental disorder if I didn't have therapy, and actually use it I would probably be dead.
As far as a red flag,.. I guess it would have to be fake boobs. To me that just screams of some one who is not comfortable being who they are. That kind of insecurity is kind of a big turn off for me.
Just saying.
Just to let you know, my great friend had a double mastectomy and chose to have some new boobs inserted.
That, and when they literally shine because of all the paint they have on.
@weelittleone Actually, I'm glad you brought that up. I had not considered that.
Huge red flag if she plays the ukulele. ?
Serious answer: I'm wary whenever anyone is too interested too quickly, e.g., professing love after only a couple of dates or a few conversations, or starts talking about serious commitment before we've really gotten to know one another, or claims to be dying from cancer and blames me for it (actually happened, and we'd chatted only a handful of times over the internet, but that might have been an attempt at catfishing). So, I guess it comes down to anything that shows manipulative behavior of various sorts.
I gotta admit, I loved your intro!
Lack of empathy for human dignity. I know we all have our differences, but there are some things that demean humanity. And if you cannot at least acknowledge and honor another's, I'm out.
A man who's used prostitutes.
I guess that is a bigger thing in your country...