Here in Virginia Beach, VA I hear that "Oh I wish I could be younger again" from many people. In my book age is just a number. To be honest, there are bad apples in any pot regardless of age and gender. When it comes to dating, more need people rid themselves of the thought of there is a soulmate i.e. the one for them. I’ve personally never believed in the whole concept of “soulmates”. No matter how ahead of the curve you think yourself to be, there will be thousands like you walking the same curve. You will think that you are the only one who has those odd habits, odd idiosyncrasies, or you are the only one awake at that particular hour of the night. But the truth is, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands who are exactly like you. There are plenty of people who would satisfy an individual criteria of Ms. Right and Mr. Perfect. It’s just pure coincidence that you found one of them and were acquainted to him or her and now consider them your “soulmate”. In the end, “the one” is the one you choose, so choose well!!

My stance for many years is its better to be single and lonely than together and miserable with the wrong person. The time we are blessed with on this Earth is very finite. Time spent in a bad relationship is time wasted finding the right one. You can’t find the love you deserve if you’re giving attention to a dead-end relationship. Once you become the person you want to meet wants to find, you will find yourself in the right place to find the person who’s right for you.

You don’t choose who you’re attracted to, but you definitely choose who you fall in love with and (more importantly) who you stay in love with.Real love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. Real love isn’t just a euphoric, spontaneous feeling—it’s a deliberate choice—a plan to love each other for better and worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health. At the end of the day, what matters is that we VALUE and LOVE the people that are in our lives. It's essential to learn that happiness is more than just a feeling. It is also a choice and the result of a series of choices. We have to choose to appreciate and love those around us.

@daveeleceng I couldn't agree more w what u said ! Yes !

@Lavergne Thank you!! I'm honored and humbled <3 Over the years I realized that each of us is perfectly imperfect. I've been told by several people that I'm an old soul. Each of us finds many ways to share wisdom with others. I firmly believe that each of us need to strive to be blessings to one another. We are not here to see through one another, but to see one another through

@daveeleceng perfectly stated!

@Heidi68 Thank you!! What parts of my comment stood out to you?

@Chefedone I like your approach

I love this! I always ask similar questions. I am Canadian but I am obsessed with DJT (and have changed business plans so I don't have to be anywhere near the 63 million who voted for him) so I asked, If you were an American, would you vote for the sexual predator DJT, do you smoke, and what, if any, is your religious orientation? Once I have filtered out the religious men, the smoking men and the would-be (shudder) DJT supporters, I then may date them. On the two occasions, out of about ten dates, that I went to bed with them, one man who was 55 and one man who was 52, both had erectile dysfunction. Ugh. Why go to bed with me if you can't perform, or how about giving me the head's up before I am all hot and bothered? Ick.

@mauxjen Yeah, LOL, that is definitely something to talk about ahead of time on Wednesday.

@mauxjen Haha - reminds me of why I quit dating years ago, I’ve no desire to be a sex therapist.

I totally agree. Smoking is a no-no for me because I am allergic to the smoke. In Canada, I always ascertain politics, because the Right is wrong as far as I am concerned and I cannot respect anyone who espouses conservative politics. One woman I went out with was a "holy roller". She took me to her church one night and after about a half hour of watching people seizure on the floor, speak in tongues and harass me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and saviour, I was out of there. I also ask about dominance because I prefer a dominant woman.--- Ya gotta ask all of these.

I have never heard that before "nurses with purses". Thank you, You have made me laugh, because there are men like that. I am not one of them.

reminded me my ex-wife going to a concert of the band my daughter was managing... industrial metal.... she said It Was Too Loud!!!!

Metal and Grunge,.... I think at least 2/3 of my CD collection falls into those two categories. Rest is 80s 'New Wave'.

@Crimson67 I couldn't do that... one of my daughters will kill her. I am not joking.

@Crimson67 Well a cougar is better than a dirty old man, Bwahaha.

I prefer the term "Naughty Hobo" as it captures my spirit (lol) better.

I like grunge, rock, et, Is what keeps me young and alert

@Silvertongue Older men dating much younger women are only pervs or predators if they're POOR.
But the wealthy ones can date anyone!
Ugh.

I'm not annoying...for what it's worth

@SACatWalker In the big picture, besides AIDS, sexually transmitted infections are not as big of a deal as the stigma makes them.

Think about this hypothetical—you have to choose from only four available women in the universe. They each have only one negative thing about them—otherwise they are perfect.

Woman A is a habitual liar—otherwise perfect.

Woman B is a kleptomaniac-otherwise perfect.

Woman C gets off on belittling cashiers and food servers-otherwise perfect.

Woman D has herpes-otherwise perfect.

Which do you choose?

A person can get herpes with only having had one partner ever — or zero partners.

Every person you know who has ever had a “cold sore” or a “fever blister” has a medical condition called herpes—only it’s dressed up with a “nice” word.

Getting off my soapbox now....just doing my little part to try to remove the stigma about humans with an actual medical condition for which NOBODY asks.

Cheers!!

@SACatWalker Okay, protest heard and I concede that. You are right, a habitual liar would have a whole bag of problems undoubtedly. But, I think and hope you get my point. It's a medical condition nobody asks for and it is not a life ender and it is not, to me, a legitimate reason to judge somebody or to rule them out. That said, to each his or her own, right?

@SACatWalker Laughing VERY out loud!!! Hilarious! Can you imagine telling somebody that? They definitely would not be expecting that reaction. Good for you, SAC!

BlueWave, you live in Louisiana? How the hell do you keep your sanity???? If I lived in the Bible Belt South I would go bonkers. I recommend that you move to Minneapolis, it is pretty liberal here. But there still is the situation of the dudes wanting to have cyber sex or real life sex right away. There was only one time I did cyber sex. I chatted with a single, atheist man who lives in Ras El Bar, Egypt. Single men cannot have girlfriends. If men and women are caught dating, they get beaten and taken off to jail. The women usually are covered, only their hands and faces show. So, these desperate Egyptian dudes go on FB and beg American women to flash them. Lots of American women open their webcams and show their stuff, they feel sorry for those poor Arab dudes.

@SusanHilde Just saw this almost a month later. It is hard. I feel like a fish out of water. And, driving for Uber, I hear so many people talk about how much they LLLLOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEE it here. Alrighty then. I don't hate it here. It just doesn't feel like a "fit."

I am going to Minneapolis in May. My favorite cousins live there. Don't know if I could ever get used to the bitterly cold winters. My old law firm (job) is headquartered there, so I could conceivably have a job. Hmmmm.......

@BlueWave besides the stigma, AIDS really isn't a big deal anymore either. The meds have made it so people with HIV are unlikely to pass it on, and partners without HIV can also take meds to prevent getting it. It's pretty much just stigma and ignorance now.

[thebody.com]

@SurvivorSteph Y'know, you're right. I would change my comment above, but then these two comments wouldn't make sense. It was ignorant of me to exclude AIDS from the not such a big deal. I know people live full and long lives with AIDS - unlike 30 years ago.

@BlueWave and if their virus is supresssd they’re unlikely to pass it to the rest of us! ?

@SurvivorSteph Yup

@bluewave anyone who would date someone with aids has a death wish.

@JustLynnie IMHO, being good looking, for either gender, is NO guarantee that one will find a ' meaningful intimate dedicated relationship.' It CAN be a liability. When I see a man who is Mark Harmon cute , I will not contact him, thinking ' he will never date me, with just slightly above average looks"( for my age.) as he can have the pick of the litter. That thinking is a disservice to handsome men, many of whom are not egocentric or vain in the least. I took a chance once on one such man in Mountain view, contacted him, and we had a good time the first few times we met. He was the consummate gentleman, and told me that his good looks were indeed a liability.

Just move to Minneapolis. Lots of middle aged, educated liberal women here. You will soon have to call the police to fight off all the women chasing you and beating down your door.

I’ll have to remember that. @SusanHilde

I wish you lived in California.

There in lies the issue. Men speak explicitly, like in giving dog commands (sit, fetch, rollover).
Women speak elicitly and men are clueless.
Been there, done that, not getting married again.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, speak directly and to the point. Problem solved.

Thanks to you ladies my STOCK in Duracell has tripled in the last 4 years. but honestly at the same time MY JOB has been farmed out....so ...???

Yep, vibrators are nice ... a vibrator never talks back, is too tired or out of town! I claim not to be overly attached to my vibrator, but last Valentine's Day I sent it two dozen roses.

@SKH78 ?

@witchymom Yep. Too soon old and too late smart.

You speak the truth. Also, I now find that I just don't want to waste any time on relationships or even friendships that are not healthy for me or just take up time. In my youth I would never actively terminate a friendship (maybe avoid them but not terminate....I confess that after 50 I have terminate friendships in which I no longer felt compatible in. This leaves me more precious time to be with those I truly care about.

Not all of us are addicted or looking for Barbie. I'm a pretty slender 68 yr old, no sox w/sandals, but I don't want to look like the number 10 when strolling next to a (female) partner, if you catch my drift (not that I'm looking).

Wow you’ve meet so challenging men I’m so sorry

No Step., it’s not a nightmare, your just in the wrong place I fear.

I think one gets used to being in relationships. Even if it's someone to say, "Hey check this out," and share something cute or amusing of infuriating. I live in a house with other people, and my daughter's still here, but it's not the same. Other than a few years in my 40s when I was unable to care for myself, and didn't want to put that burden on someone new, this is the longest I've gone without being in a relationship. My art keeps me in my head for long periods, and it's nice to ground to Earth.

Hope springs eternal. I've been in a situation where it's easy to believe that I'd never find love again. I think that you just remain open minded. You live your life but leave enough space for someone to come along. This is something that can change overnight. If you think about it, there's really no reason to shut out the idea of finding a mate again.

Haha there is some of that with me, too. I keep waiting to no longer desire women!! But of course it never happens.....

Amen sister!!!!

Here here and that’s way there’s Viagra which has saved my life metaphorically

I am right there with you. It has taken me a very long time to get here but I am so happy with where I am and who I am.

My 17 YO is a terrific travel buddy for me, too. He got big and muscular in 2014. I can venture ANY where with him and not be harrassed. (;

@Crimson67 Once your son flies the nest??My sons 33 we call him a boomerang.He's come back twice.We're thinking of moving 30 miles away.we need to have some fun in our later years before we're to old.I don't think we are going to give him our new address.

I have not experienced the "fear of widows" thing. Were you serious about that? - Devrais

@DevraisA1 Very. There is significant subset of the male population, possibly a very insecure set, who claim it's not worth trying to compete with a beloved ghost. I figure they are doing me a huge favor by not wasting my time.

I didn't know that farting could end relationships. Lol

@SusanHilde then you have had a protected life.

I don't know if I have had a "protected" life, but I just did not know that so many people object to hearing/smelling the farts of their spouses.

ha ha ha ... like how much younger??? When I took my trip to Egypt, I got propositioned by a dude 23 years my junior ... I told him that he needed to find a young woman his age. He exclaimed "But I LOVE older women!" Here at home, I was in the public library and a dude 30 years younger than me tried to pick me up. Again I said "You need to find a woman your own age - lots of older women do not have those urges anymore." He replied "Older women are sexy!" Yep - older women have sexy checkbooks. LOL .... lol

rofl