Is it just me, or is dating after 50 a nightmare?
It seems like almost everyone is so religious, which narrows the pool significantly.
Then out of those who are left the majority fall into one of these categories: looking for a nurse/care giver,
looking for someone MUCH younger to recapture their youth or REPUBLICAN
Then of the 10 people in your region that are left...you don't like 5 and the other 5 don't like you.
OYE! I think I just need a gay best friend to do things with and a new vibrator.
It sure does seem to be a numbers game. Though I feel and act 20 years younger than I am, I am often surprised when I don't get a reply from a guy whose many interests I share. Moreah
I’m pretty convinced that when people take responsibility for their own happiness, and can look at another human being and see qualities in them that inspire them to want to be with them, good things happen. Most of the time we are consumed with how another makes us feel and we get stuck and don’t adjust with the changes life brings. If one finds a place in life where they hit their stride run with it. As I continue to see my true self , I am convinced that I do want to come across a woman that I can be with that is a lover of life , that is transparent with conversation and their feelings. It took me two years after I asked the question: what is Love , what is it to be in love ? To see it. If I run across it great, if not than that is okay too . Any way I guess it is difficult to find people to date 50 and over ,but I keep myself open to the possibility, as I do other things in my life.
To avoid kissing frogs might call for going out to sea.
By screening for sexual potential as prerequisite, I think we can miss knowing some fascinating people; while still keeping gay friends, being open to later possibilities for intimacy growing out of friendships and still keeping a vibrator.
I am in such a different place. I'm in my mid-50's and stayed away from dating, relationships, and even casual connections for over 30 years. A combination of trauma, mental illness, and personal setbacks where I would not even consider getting close to anyone romantically or physically. I had been slowly moving to overcome all this, when everything changed drastically a little over a year ago, an illness that turned my world upside-down and woke me up in ways I couldn't have imagined.
Happy for your wakeing upidness and that you are in a different place. I am, too.
Worked as a Chef for over 30yrs. I had very little time to build relationships or even see my family., Now that I’m retired I have all this free time. I’ve gotten so used to living alone so I rarely felt lonely. I have realized lately loneliness has been creeping up on me, and it is stronger than the acceptence of being alone.
Im basically an introvert and rely on dating sites to meet people. After 5 yrs of eHarmony I had quite a few dates but when it came to religous conversatios they were gone in a flash. So I went ahead and put on my profile that I was an Athiest..and poof all the responses disappeared.
I think dating over 50 can be a nightmare. Im hoping with this site finding someone compatible might be a liile easier. Really hoping to find someone to dance with until the end of love.
I tried to do that dating thing at first. But the ones who I have things in common with are my age and they are so set in their ways that we can't match schedules to do anything. The younger ones just annoy me. And I really just value my free time and lack of attachments. All the ones who talked to me about going out and I am good friends with them all now but I am just too set in my ways. And they all seem to be churchies. namaste.
It's a nightmare. My classification of men at this point is that they all belong in one or more of 7 groups:
1.live too far away
2. too young
3. too old
4. married
5. gay
6. jerks
That's when you get to the 10 who are left, and...yes.
Gay best friends are the best! Not only are they fun, fierce, and dress better than most men, they give it to you straight (no pun intended)! I'm 52, and while I'm open to perhaps meeting someone, I have given up on finding anyone special, but will make the most of my life spending it with the person I do love best..........me!!
I don't know if I'm prepared to put the time in that I think dating would require. Being single again takes more time and effort. Previously there were two of us to do all the general everyday stuff such as cooking, cleaning, etc. And 2 incomes. Now I'm finding I have to work more hours to earn enough and spend more time dong household stuff. That doesn't leave me much time for 'chasing the ladies' plus those tunes are not going to play themselves
So, sure, there are things I miss about not having a partner and should Uma Thurman show up at my door clutching a banjo I wouldn't turn her away its just not as important to me as it once was.
I think you just about summed it up lol I would also add, and I'm not being sexist as I've only seen female profiles, there is usually of huge list of what they don't like, thus the bar is set so high it's no wonder they don't have anyone. The other one that amuses/irritates me is that prospective dates must be of a minimum height, I.e must be at least 5'10", not because they themselves are tall but because they obviously think this clearly filters out the twats.
@witchymom lol love the practicality and pragmatism, maybe i should try that......if I could be bothered
Oh, if you live in a smallish community, another problem is, of the 10 left, 5 are ex lovers of yours. Why answering to anonymous date thingies in the paper or so would really be taking a gamble ... "Oh no, not YOU!"
Remember “Pi?a Colada”? That was a good one!! : )
@Rodatheist no, it does not ring a bell, sorry ....
It is a song from the late 70s. Rupert Holmes. The actual name of the song was Escape and is about a guy that is bored of his ”old lady” and publishes an add in the personals section that says “"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain, If you´re not into yoga, if you have half a brain, If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape, I´m the love that you´ve looked for, write to me, and escape"… So he gets a response and he goes on a blind date and when they meet at the restaurant he said “oh, it’s you”. She was his “old lady” and he ends saying “I didn’t know you liked all these things” and so they escape together.
@Rodatheist
funny.
I don't know about dating over 50. I was going to ask some others and see what they say. I have not been out on a date in many years. The thought fills me with anxiety. I have no willingess to turn into a gumpy old maid, but does anyone have any stories about dating they would share? Thanks.
Totally nailed it! I have quit looking. Of course I live in Los Angeles where everyone's outsides match their insides Fake! I work in Radio and I get to go to all the music events I can handle plus I never have to consult with anyone about where and what I'm doing. Totally selfish! Plus I get to sleep around!!
The thing that has always worked when it comes to dating and meeting new people is not to try. Every significant relationship including my marriage I met them when I wasn't actively looking. When I try, I look like a fool as I am no Don Juan.
LOVE this post! But then again, I been in love with metal since the 70's/80's.
I live just North of Seattle. There are lots of non-religious women around. The biggest issue is finding mutual attraction with someone in a similar
The edit button isn't working for me... The biggest issue is finding mutual attraction with someone in a similar financial position who is sarcastic, smart, and well educated.
I've never heard the nurses with purses thing. Except for one relationship, I am always the ATM machine so that stuff cuts both ways.
The dating process is frustrating but I haven't given up.
I find it hard because I am kind of set in my ways. I do like your comment "looking for someone MUCH younger to recapture their youth". I know men that do just that. Me, I realize my youth has left me and it ain't coming back. Looking for a much younger woman, would only give me a heart attack.
You have 10 people in your region, wow, try dating when you live rural and the nearest woman you find on this site is either in another country or more than 800 kilometres away or both. I don't need either a nurse or a purse although I do find RN's sexy mostly because they are generally intelligent and don't put up with shit. I don't want someone that is young enough to be my daughter.
Hope still springs eternal though, somewhere there is someone out there.