I've been very happily married since I was in my late twenties, when I turned fifty some many years back I started getting random contacts from old girlfriends and old female school friends who all find themselves now single, asking if I was still married and if so was it a happy marriage, and to let them know if I ever find myself free. Came as an unwanted shock I can tell you.
It's weird because as a young man I was always the one who got friend zoned, "I like you but not in that way" and the classic "I would but you're too nice." YuK!.
So I am assuming that should anything ever happen to my lovely wife, I won't lack company, but obviously I'm in no rush for that.

It would seem that maybe your just " out of practice ". Please don't take that the wrong way it's just a turn of phrase, but i'm 50 in a few months and simply find the more people I know the more open I am to finding someone. Maybe it's different here in the UK but being Athesist doesn't bar you so much. I'm sure you have good friends but make more, then let nature take it's course

What a great post this turned out to be. I have enjoyed reading all the responses. It seems most of us middle aged people are sharing the same nightmare...?

Seems many are religious or have no idea how to take care of themselves and never grew up...the dating pool sucks

I graduated college the year I turned 50. A degree in fine arts and theater. I stopped dating. Period. Focused completely on my art career for 15 years. OMG now, I'm retired (still making art) but looking for a date...YIKES. It isn't the same world I knew when my studio mate in college kept trying to seduce me. I still look way younger than my age, but men my age don't seem to be interested in women their age. I've satisfied myself with have virtual relationships with men. I find it very stimulating because men love reading my erotica stories.

I'm not quite 50 yet (49) but, it is a total nightmare. I thought by the time a man reached mid 40s that they would be more mature. But, all I am finding with men in my age range is that they want girls half thier age and/or nice bodies, etc. Basically, most of them are very shallow. And stop with the dick pics! LOL. I probably need to move. The town I live in are mostly conservative God bothering gun nuts.

Crimson67, your concern is sooo right on. I just don't date. Instead, I focus on making friends. Good to meet others with the same dilemma.

I'm writing as a 58 year old married man; I window shop bit I don't buy! What I observe in the folks in my neighborhood is that people "showing signs of being in the game" fare well.

I got divorced two years ago, and decided to enter the dating pool at the age of 64. I thought men around my age would know what they want, and be more together than they were in our 20s. Boy, was I wrong! Guys, I'm sure this is true for some ladies as well. People carry baggage all their lives, and their entrenched habits are worse. I dated a man (briefly) until I discovered he was married. Then I had a LDR with a guy I developed some strong feelings for. We had great sex for months, then he suddenly went back to his ex. I discovered I was only a rebound. I have rebooted myself, and carry no baggage. Why can't people stay out of dating sites unless they are emotionally available?

It's a brave new world, AI, dating computers, extreme materialism and its concomitant, status? What's left of what we used to know as being human, having human interactions, touching, dancing, just saying hello without suspicion, having an open conversation without offending ones "liberal, conservative or religious" sensibilities? Hard? almost impossible to be "real" because what does it mean in the "new millennium?"

Age is no bar for dating, because only our body is subjected to ageing process and not our mind or desires.

I think the majority of people are unrealistic. Everyone wants a conflict free world, country, enviroment, relationship, life, etc. etc.. Thats not reality. Reality is that the world and every aspect of it is always in conflict of some kind. It always has been and will always comtinue to be. If thats what you want and expect then you are delusional and trying to live an illusion. Single people at 50 have been through so much shit that they just want peace anymore. Well, you're going to be lonely then because nothing is ever perfect. I'm 48 and looking at my second failed marriage. My first wife was older, my second younger. Age makes no difference I can tell you that. I'll be damned if I'm going to give up though. It was my wives who expected everything to be perfect and always their way. Just because they were both that way doesn't mean there isn't a woman out there that knows that that is absurd. That everything won't always be unicorns and rainbows. I hope I find her. If I don't then I will settle for the good times I have with the next person until they are gone. I won't submit to being a disgruntled old hag like most of the single men and women my age that I know are. Also I think when someone looks for someone younger, that is why, because older single people's attitudes about relationships suck.

It is difficult; but I'm not sure that it's more difficult than younger years. The dating game has never come naturally for me.

I vote: Nightmare.

add to that...trying to find a SOBER person (for me ) !!! yeah. mission impossible.... and what's with all these guys that say they are "christian", but when asked about it, they flip flop all over the place like a fish in a boat...well...uh...not really...I just uh...you know...

Yes it’s a nightmare. The good ones have already gone. Those online seem weird, resentful, Republican, gun lovers, or predatory. They give good men a seriously bad name. Go for the vibrator and those gay men who genuinely like the company of women.

Yeah it's tough. There are women who are still looking for prince charming. I mean, I'm a romantic as well but c'mon, we're 50. How about just someone that won't kill me in my sleep, lol. Okay maybe there is something in between but...

If you think 50 is difficult, try 60! I just "met" two men back to back, who I was pretty compatible with on the phone but when we talked about the possibility of taking the next step, a big problem reared its head. Both had extensive physical ailments which made relationships difficult. Guy #1 had had a kidney transplant and kidney disease ran in his family. He is fairly healthy but tires easily, can't stand on his feet for long, and felt sure that he'd need another transplant some day. We didnt get past the phone calls.
Guy #2 and I talked for hours by phone and it was great. He has my sense of humor, is as chatty as I am, and I really sparked with this guy! He also had some physical ailments but he didnt tell me the gist of them until we met for lunch: diabetes, heart trouble, but the worst was that he had had extensive back surgery, and he also couldnt walk long distances or stand on his feet for long. He walks with a slight stoop, has balance issues, etc.
I'm not a "super-senior", defined by me as those slim, smiling, silver-haired couples in ads that go hang-gliding and zip lining so that they don't feel or look "old" , but I'm pretty active so I knew it wouldnt work out. Problem was, I REALLY liked this guy. Sigh...but physical ailments played a part in the breakup of my last relationship so I already know what lies down that road.
Sighhhhhhh... Ive got minor physical issues, as do many over 60, but these things were a bridge too far. I'm starting to wonder if I should ask for medical records before I decide to date someone!

I think I've totally given up. all the guys that interest me are far away geographically. and being an introvert does not make this easier

I'm 63, also I need is a vibrator.

Yeah. Believe me I get it. I love your list. I would add to it Being geographically undesirable, it amazes me how many men say they will look no further than 20 miles for a real relationship. Yeah that is weird. Also all of a sudden assets have become a huge deal, such as if I don't own a home that I can sell then my maket value as a single woman has gone down.

Blech. I hate it. I oscillate from "I hate being alone" to, "who needs the grief", then back again. In between I remain single. :/

I'm 47 and I totally agree. It also doesn't help that I'm crap with meeting new people (its fine once I know you but those initial interactions are just so awkward).

Why is it so hard to find someone to spend the rest of my life with?

I also know several professional women who would NEVER consider dating a man who makes $20k less lol and many of those same women say they're dedicated to dismantling the patriarchy. Also stay at home moms who demand all potential dates make enough to support them and their kids. One woman I know of recently got married but her biggest concern was his $70k salary would be a significant reduction for her children, she can't make $40k.

Sorry women, there simply aren't that many single men who make $100k, especially if you throw in supporting a 20ish failure to launch or the ego associated with not deigning to date plumbers

If we truly reject religious culture, wouldn't we also reject concepts the man is the breadwinner and women need to be demure that are intrinsically tied to religion?