Perhaps it's due to my lack of linguistic insight, but I still don't really understand what dating really is.

I thought dating after 30 was bad!

“ to thine own self be true”, stick to your guns and don’t every your self short. There are many people out there that can meet your needs and share beliefs. Wheathertexting and / or getting comfortable. I have been working for years and meet people all the time and the Sierra club is an example of like interests

What about mature children who imagine they know whats best for their single parents and do everything possible to retain exclusivity with mum or dad?

Dating is a nightmare! It really makes me wonder how the hell are were living on such an overpopulated planet?

Go with the vibrator. Give it a name and live happily ever ! After

Yup, sucks harder when you move from Los Angeles to some small ass city in the corner of Michigan. I am thankful I do not need a woman to complete me, but a friend sure would be nice. After 17 years of marriage, (the second one, the first was 10, so I haven't had to 'date' in 27 years more than half my life), I try to stay positive, full of love, joy, gratitude and just pluggin' along.

Yup..that sounds about right.

Unlike you, though, I don't care.
As a demisexual I have zero sexual attraction for any gender or person and I can take sex or leave it.
If I start to feel a bit of desire at night, in a nonspecific way, I have a vibrator. As an androgyne, I can imagine I'm any gender I wish to achieve orgasm, and can imagine I'm doing it with any gender or combination thereof.

When I think of myself as male, I have a quick, explosive orgasm, and when I think of myself as female, I have the long, slow build-up and extended orgasms. But I can also pretend I'm both at the same time and have such a tsunami orgasm that it almost knocks me out.

Yet, like I said, I can take or leave it, and seldom do anything beyond getting the quickest results possible so I can get to sleep.

Nevertheless, I'm usually inundated by interested men, perhaps because my disinterest in them romantically challenges their egos.

I've learned to use disclaimers if men start hitting on me, casually informing them that I'm androgyne (mixed gender), a partial transmale, and a demisexual..including the definitions.

You'd think that would make them take to their heels, but what usually happens is that men often seem happy to adopt me as a side-kick pal, perhaps because my behavior is very male, despite my appearance.

That is not so far off. On other Dating Websites I have been on I would get nasty comment when they see on my profile that I’m an atheist. Why they feel the need to even make a comment is beyond me but it’s all good I wouldn’t care to date that kind of person anyway. I can only speak for myself; I’m not looking for a “much younger woman”. I will let the lady decide but I would not go below 45 years. I find that the real problem is finding ladies in my area that I can date.

You hit the nail on the head. It’s horrible.

I love you girl! Lmao! It is a nightmare I could not have said it better myself.?

I am terrified of the word "dating". I have not dated since 1997 and I was very uncomfortable doing so. I have been separated from my wife for 2 years. She moved on and has a boyfriend. I am still in love with her and she has my daughter who will be 17 next month. She started dating too. I' m left alone, not knowing anyone. I am not particularly looking for sex. I would prefer the friendship better at this point. It is very hard for me to get intimate as I can be very shy. Most people that know me would never describe me as shy as I am able to carry on a good conversation and have a good time without drugs or booze. I look much younger that my age (63) and I am dying to have friends here in Toronto but have not had much luck in this aspect of life. My goal this year is to make friends in Toronto, both male and female although I really miss female companionship the most.

I would like to offer some of my insight to the question. I have been married twice and divorced twice, and have lived by myself for most of the past 40 years. and I have treid to date and mostly haven't really found the "Friend" to share life with. living by myself has really never bothered me. society kind of looks at you askew, but hey up theirs hahahaha. as I close in on retirement , I do hope to find a companion to spend the rest of life with. not a nurse or a purse. a friend. its been a long tiring journey and having someone to spend time with will be appreciated better now than when I was married. just my 5 cent opinion. happiness for all.

Not a nightmare in my opinion, just way more difficult than it needs to be. Old photos, flat-out untruths and a person's imaginatively-constructed online image of themself make it pretty likely that you're not going to meet the person you expected in the rare case it gets that far. I think many people create the online virtual person they wish they were, never expecting to be called-out on it, or in some cases, even to ever meet someone at all. I meet ladies with the attitude that no matter what, I'm going to have a good meal, create enjoyable and humorous conversation, respectfully pay for the meal and only ask for a 2nd-meet if everything checked-out and we BOTH had fun. It's rare, but no disasters... just lots of funny stories! The worst part of the process is that ladies are often scared to step past the anonymity of their cloaked devices with the very guys who they will never have a problem with... so we often (usually) just give-up and move-on before we ever get a phone conversation, name, email, or meet.

I am 63 but still in fsirly good shape and play with a rock band in Toronto. My wife and I have been separated for around 2 years. I get butterflies in the tummy even when I think of dating. Totally afraid of dating. Anyway I do not know enough people to be able to date. When I do live gigs I get to meet many women. They buy me drinks after performances and are very friendly to me. I want to pursue the friendship but draw the line with sex still. I do not know why. My ex already has a boyfriend and moved on. Not it is my turn. I first need to have female friendships in order to get to the point of asking for dates. Have a new band but it is in its infancy and we only rehearse. When we get booked gigs, that may be my chance to ask a lady fior a date.

I don't go out with expectations so maybe it depends on what your goals are for dating. I just want to date, meet guys, hang out. I'm not out to judge and don't need a hookup, don't need a relationship. Mostly the guys I'm meeting so far seem to be decent people. If a guy has baggage (who doesn't) or issues or are having a bad day, then maybe our time together is therapy.

My one non-negotiable is prejudice: antisemitism and prejudice in any form. Who wants to hang out with THAT?

Anyway, I'm rolling with it and so far, happily, it's a good place to be.

I think you are 100% correct in your observations. I've often said the same thing about the gay friend - that really would be ideal. Sad to say, women over 50 do have a hard time because men that age are all looking for 35 yr old women. I don't blame them - I'm sure having a younger, attractive, vivacious partner at that time in their lives puts a little spring in their step....just kinda sad that a 50 year old woman gets called a cougar and mocked if she ends up dating a 35 yr old man. The more things change......the more they stay the same.

Damn baby girl. Please tell me that our situation isn't that hopeless? I'm 59. I happen to be a righteous fan of the over 50 crowd, so it works pretty well for me.

I have been widowed for 5 years and am just now getting used to it. I have dated a few men near here, but they are tied up in religion and don't like it when I am the one that makes the plans sometimes. There are about 5 agnostics and a couple of atheists around here. I have met a couple of them, but they don't seem to like the idea that I play music in bars. The musicians I date are not working out. The one that I really like was so in the moment that he lost the moment. LOL. I am fine single for sure. . . But I would like to hang out with some like minded individuals. Right now, I am not looking. I am open to a date, but I don't hold out much hope on finding anyone. But. . . . That's ok.

I do identify here. I'm 71 and think I am 50. Maybe younger even in my head. My last ex of 12 years is 38. My life consists of doing little things that I want to do and it is much like it always was except that I'm now getting older. I'm not into keeping up with neighbors, car or house, and if you don't like me that's fine. Move on. I'm a kid inside this body just like I always was but today I'm more responsible. I do not want to impress anyone. Maybe myself. If you are similar or maybe can go with this idea we might be a match.

Ha ha ha.. well, I am 54 and lonely like you wouldn't believe. Your post did put a big smile on my face. So, a gay friend and a vibrator is the option for a female, what is it for me then? A lesbian friend and a.....a....a... am out of words here. In a serious note, still hoping to find the right person to spend nice time with... Cheers

The grandest relationship we'll ever have in life is with ourselves.

I feel your pain. I’m an atheist, non-smoking, liberal who doesn’t hunt or fish, and I love in the middle of KY! And I am 53 years old. It also hurts that I have the energy of people half my age. Friends my age are talking about their upcoming retirements and I am talking about spending the day in an art gallery or museum.

A quick after 50 dating story:

My grandmother died when she was around 60.

My grandfather quickly remarried a dreadful gold-digger and spent a few decades with her (he seamed to be ok making her happy all the time) before she kicked the bucket.

Sortly after his 2nd wife died in his mid 80’s he found a caring and bright widowed woman withing (+-10 years or so ) his age bracket. They traveled the world together and she even moved in with him (until her children/grandchildren (Catholics) told her that was a sin to live with or go on trips with another man as this would anger her dead 1st husband who was waiting for her in heaven).

Before her children condemned their relationship, their “Puppy Love” was cute, they held hands all the time, smiled at each other and kissed on the lips and expressed a great interest in sharing their lives together. Eventually they both wound up in the same retirement home (different rooms on the opposite side of the complex) and, to keep her children happy, were careful not to be caught showing affection towards each other.

Congratulations on the popular post. 134 comments and counting. That might be a record for this site. I've read through most of the comments and it's seems the prevailing observations are that we're all getting more picky (set in our ways) as we age and we all realize that being non-religiuos reduces the dating pool by 80 or 90 percent. The result is a paradoxical dilemma.

I don't have problems getting dates through traditional means. But it's been difficult finding a substantial woman who fits my preferences and I see myself as pretty open minded. I was hoping this site would create a positive opportunity for finding a long term partner. But mostly I see pessimism from the comments on this post. IMO most of the people here are accomplished, smart, and like-minded. Because of that I'm still optimistic and hoping there is someone here for me.