Is it just me, or is dating after 50 a nightmare?
It seems like almost everyone is so religious, which narrows the pool significantly.
Then out of those who are left the majority fall into one of these categories: looking for a nurse/care giver,
looking for someone MUCH younger to recapture their youth or REPUBLICAN
Then of the 10 people in your region that are left...you don't like 5 and the other 5 don't like you.
OYE! I think I just need a gay best friend to do things with and a new vibrator.
So many raised in the fold, seem to see their later years as a time to hunker down and cram for the final they anticipate at the Pearly Gates. My mom (85yo) and my uncle (90yo), who were wild and crazy in their youth, (so the stories go,) are bible thumping church folks now.
I have had the same problem. I live in a smaller city, so the dating pool isn't that large to begin with. Plus, it's also a very conservative, mostly Christian community. Like you, I have noticed that the rest want a care giver, someone to support them cuz they're broke, interested in someone MUCH younger, or, you guessed it, Republican. After a decade of searching, I have essentially given up. I'm not willing to suffer through a church service or sit in a dive bar just to find a date.
It is very difficult to find good dates and good friends when you are older. I think maybe women find it more difficult - you get older, women outnumber men. So, lots of straight women simply have to be content with being uncoupled. Or maybe we should legalize polygamy ... lol ... lol ....
I've decided to primarily date younger men. Old guys whine too much.
Haha that's the truth. They also don't want to go out and have fun.
@Cindie Younger women do too!
I feel for you. I will be 57 in May and I gave up on dating. I seemed to attract the mentals and by that I mean folks in serious need of a shrink and meds because they were not all right in the head. Two wanted to marry to get their hands on my farm, land is over $4K an acre where I live. I live in a super religious rural Republican area and all the really decent guys are take, are religious, Republican, drunk, wife abusers and users , I could go on. For now I just want to get my committments to farm and family leveled out and then if I meat someone great, if not, oh well...
Seems like a lot of fingers pointed outward and makes me wonder what you're are really looking for or expecting out of a relationship. At 50 most people have plenty of baggage of all kinds. What about finding people with similar interests or professionals in the same field (not the same office or even company) . Or just let the activities or interests happen first and perhaps the "dating" will follow. Good luck.
Hahah, and here was I thinking it is a nightmare because everyone else is as old as you are! I sometimes get a fright when I see friends from way back how they have aged, and then I remember, yes, me too. Of course. ( don't feel like it on the inside, but look like it and feel it when I try to jump over a fence or something like it) PS: Vaseline is the best anti wrinkle cream. You cover your bathroom mirror with it!
I recently thought I had a possible match (Yes, it was from Match) and after texting and talking and Skyping, we were set to have coffee, when she sent me a message that she couldn’t see me because I’m an atheist. “Atheist” was on my profile. Hers said she had no religious preference. It was very weird.
She claimed to have been an atheist and her family were atheists and that the lifestyle was not for her. “Lifestyle”? She said that all atheists worshipped something, maybe a dog or their Mom or the TV. It was bizarre. I really came to the conclusion she must be in some odd cult.
After hearing enough of this - and, strangely, she wouldn’t tell me her religion- I told her it was fine, that I don’t date bigots. She did not take that well or seem to understand how it could be bigotry.
Oh man! That really stinks. The truth is that you are better off with that person gone from your life. I suppose it is the waste of time and effort that hurts more in the end.
I've made I think one really good friend on here that I cherish already and had an instant soul crush on another- based off photos! The humor is real! haha. I'm not expecting anything though. But I feel ya.
I'm happy with just good new friends too tbh, and finding out at my age and circumstance that moving slowly is best.
Quick movers spook me, btdt in my youth. You are beautiful & intelligent Witchymom, the ball should be in your court.
In my line of work, vibrators are an essential tool! I have over 30 years of experience operating them. I'm not gay, but am willing to learn! In the process of reading your truthful and hilarious post, I immediately fell in love with you ....
I.e. in the process of pouring concrete walls we use a "vibrator" slang name "donkey dick" to remove air pockets in the ready mix (wet concrete) so that the finished product is solid and smooth with no honey comb spots. I've been single in my own home for 10 plus years. Overall I'm happy,but affection,and companionship is what I miss. 5 that I do like,but don't like me....i so relate to that! Hope you find my attempt at humor pleasing.
Instead of a gay friend, I've turned my dating frustration/failure to friends without benefits. I have two women who I just hang out with.
Gay guys make awesome friends ! There's always women too ...
I think - from my experiences, is that while the internet helps us meet people we wouldn't have met otherwise - it also allows everyone with a computer to participate , which means you have to sort through many more people, scammers, nutsos, and other totally inappropriate humans !
Not easy - no.
@witchymom doubles your chances ... (grin), but I understand.
@witchymom for the right woman I will make believe gay guy... just make believe mind you. he, he, ha, he.
@GipsyOfNewSpain yeah ... good luck with that
@evergreen I know... I kind of know I will fail badly there. In college I was like the "secret keeper" for about 8-10 girls. No gay around. Then too late later I was accused of just being a spy in the house of love... I collected all needed data to steal someone's heart.
Hi, my name is jimmy, I am from sw missouri. I agree 100 percent. I have applied to dating sites and such, but most are scams, even posted on craigslist and got a bunch of spam email from other dating sites. I am so tired of this crap, just once I would like to meet someone with like interest. I am liberal, non smoker, non drinker, not religious, a few extra pounds. I hate living in Republicanville
I'm over 50 and religion isn't much of a problem in finding dates. BTW @witchymom, if you were closer I'd love to date you.
@witchymom lol your 5/5 original thread reference here!
I'm in the boat with you. I am also child free which makes it triple impossible to locate a man who didn't have children.
I got divorced two years ago after 27 years of mostly happy marriage (my wife's mental illness was eventually too much for all of us). I recently tried online dating as I miss being married. But each date was like an interview and the desperation in the air was just too much. I soon stopped.
My own company seems simpler.
Fortunately or unfortunately, I won't know what dating in my 50's is like for three more years.
That being said, dating in one's 40's is not much different, especially where I live. Fort Wayne, Indiana is a VERY religious (and ergo, a very hypocritical) place. One of its nicknames is The City of Churches. I recently read that the city has more than 1,000 churches, but a population of only 265,000. Staggering!
My struggle as a man is finding someone who:
I'll be 47 on Wednesday. The closest I have managed so far is to find a woman who lives 450 miles away who seems to be mostly compatible. My chances of finding what I am looking for within 100 miles of where I live is about as slim as it gets without being zero.
I feel ya.
My birthday is on Wednesday too.
LMAO....yeah, the religious/trump/smoker thing got me...or going through aendkess tedious conversations without hearing the voice inflection or seeing facial features with the online thing. Still patience pays off and I have added friends..so there is that.
It's tough out there. I'm sure that young people think it's easy for us 50+ to date. In fact, it is not. Many of us have been married several times, others just once for 2 or 3 decades. Regardless, we are all damaged to some degree. I for one, have been married twice, I have no desire to marry again. I live alone and I love it. As we get older, we lose more family and friends, in other words, they die.
I find it hard to believe that people our age still go to brainwashing, oops, I meant church. To have someone who is flawed tell me how to live my life, if I don't know right from wrong by now, I'll never know.