Just curious, I don't mean to start a heated debate. What are your thoughts on spanking children as a consequence of bad behavior?
I used to be okay with it. I have never spanked a child and I don't have kids myself. Growing up it was just a normal thing. Now I've seen research that it causes harm and doesn't necessarily help so.... No. It's completely out for me. No spanking. (Children....)
If you put a fist fight into perspective violent. Would you want your child to solve a problem with violence? Well is spanking is violence in essence you are hitting to cause pain to make that child associate causing pain solves problems. Just like time-out your child has bad behavior so you put them in time-out problem solved (NOT) What this reflects is running away or avoiding the mistake solving the issue which is untrue. Not saying I have the answer, my personal way of discipline is. 1) recognize the error or mistake present the misdeed to the child. 2) Ask the child what could have been different? 3) Show or explain the correct way 4)The child will repeat the mistake when this happens repeat the steps. The other thing I do if the crime is absurd, I make them run the amount of there age around my house, exercise is good for them anyway. Often times just the threat of having to run brings them around.
Personally I was always more of a natural consequence type of parent, kids turned out fine.
I'm all for corporal punishment. I know when we reward our children at times they do something right, we don't try to use logic and reasoning to reward them. We give them some type of tactile stimulation through a material object, a food, maybe even a hug. In the same token when they do something wrong, the balance must be maintained in the denying of a material item or food, or even corporal punishment.
Isn’t that like stating, “if it’s okay to use my hands for good I can use my hands for bad?” We use words for good but I would not say it is okay to use words for bad, so in the same vain I’d say the same for using physical forms of behavior. I think it’s always best to not spank but I know how hard it can be at times to think of and employ other options. I’ve heard professionals say only to spank over extremely serious matters, like to prevent a kid from continuing to run out into a street—when it regards safety.
Is it possible to talk about spanking and not get heated in a group of strangers with though seemingly similar ideologies and yet very different opinions?
It should be.
I don’t agree with spanking, ‘tho I know in my culture it is still (becoming less so) acceptable. There’s an argument that says as long as it is not done in anger then it is okay, but my sense is that it is teaching something like everything else and at the least it teaches that it is okay to hit. Do you want your kid to think it is okay to hit, like you do with whatever you are hitting with? If so then I don’t think you’d be conflicted with your spanking. What I think happens, however, is that people later realize a fault with it, which there are many. In our culture we tolerate a lot of physical and emotional and psychological abuse, to a degree, but spanking is physical and thus more visible and so easy to target. So I think parents should be as mindful about other things they do such as how they talk to their children.
In a lifetime well misspent spanking my children is one of the few things I regret.
No.
I was spanked as a child, ping pong paddles, leather belts, switches... had so much hatred towards the person that was suppose to be my protector and guardian. Much better methods out there to discipline a child.
While I no longer subscribe to religious nonsense of threatening a child with eternal punishment, I still tend to hold to the view that some corporal punishment is useful - especially with young children. Example: You tell your child not to touch the hot stove side or they'll get badly burned. But they start for it anyhow. You stop them and again sternly warn them of the consequences. But still they ignore you. I would believe a slap on the hand or a switch to their butt - enough to sting but not to injure - until they get the message that it doesn't pay - is better than a severely burned hand. If any of you who have real time experience with children think I'm wrong - and have a solution to this problem that really has worked, let me know. We raised ten children and my method worked fairly good.
I just used a gate to keep mine out of the kitchen when he was too small to reason with.
Looking your pic and the title. I cannot hide my disappointment about the content of the post.
It took me a moment to understand this comment...hahahahaha
Agreed, I was expecting something regarding BDSM... lol!
@Seafoamgreen ????????????????????????
@Hysoka I'm super vanilla, but I have friends in the bdsm community. I just live vicariously through them. They pick on me about my vanillaness
@Seafoamgreen I do apologise for my lack of knowledge of such shortforms, but would you be so kind to explain what BDSM?
Violence leads to more violence usually. Spanking is a lose of control I think. Isn't a child worth a more creative approach to redirect negative behavior? More work though.
Agree 100%
I don't agree with it and don't spank my children. There have been studies showing it is not an effective form of punishment and it can cause emotional problems down the road. I was spanked as a child and I don't feel traumatized by it, but in terms of "teaching me a lesson" I feel like it was the least effective form of punishment. Having video game privileges revoked or being grounded from playing with my friends was a much better way to get me to reflect on my bad behavior. I feel like spanking is often a knee jerk reaction and is done out of anger and frustration. We are supposed to set good examples for our children and if we don't want them to hit others then we shouldn't hit them.
While I largely agree with you, spanking doesn't have to be done in anger. In fact, if you're angry, you shouldn't. And as far as the term "hitting", I take issue with that in comparison to "spanking". "Hitting give the connotation of punching which definitely will produce lasting physical harm. Whereas "spanking" is more of an unpleasant feeling the should leave only a brief and short-term discomfort. The fact that it can be and often has been abused does not disqualify the proper use of it.
There are some real studies that say that children who are spanked suffer psychological harm. The correlation with the decline of physical discipline had sparked sever studies on this matter.
I know a lot of people would disagree to such an "inconvenient truth", but fact is that all signs point to physical discipline causing these issues.