I raised my daughter in a Dallas suburb, surrounded by daily expressions of God and Jesus. I didn't want her to grow up to be cynical, but ive always made it a point to explain the motives and choices we encounter. If it was a scam, i explained how it worked, if it was a belief i went through the basis and rules.As I look back, I seem to have spent more time discussing jingoistic patriotism than religion. At 20 she is a free thinker and thats what i aimed for.

I would be pleased and happy for her.
If she was brought up religiously she might have to go through the pain of learning to disbelieve.

Your Answer:
Thank you. I am trying to decide with my boys, 3 and 1 years old. I am not interested in a conventional church. But was thinking of a deist or Buddhist tradition but largely because I was raised in a church and just don’t know any other upbringing.

yes for sure

I raised both my kids without religion. And not even because I was atheist. I was a non-practicing Catholic, and my (ex) husband was a non-practicing Jew. The idea of telling either family that we were going to raise our kids as the OTHER religion just made our head ache. So we simply ignored the whole situation! Truly, we had no reason to even mention religion. And now, both my son and daughter (in their 40s) and I are atheists. They both think believing in a god is the craziest thing!

you have done her a great service - be happy.

When my monster is old enough I shall introduce him to the only two religions that matter and he can decide... Star Trek or Starwars. being serious though sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders and you did well.

Absolutely. Parental goals. Rationality.

Sounds like she's good without religious delusions. Good job, Mom!

Definitely,she was very lucky to start off in life with an open mind free of indoctrination

Well, you got me curious so I experimented a little: I just asked my 22-yr old daughter who was raised without religion if it bothered her ... and she said no. In asking why not, she answered dismissively that only religious people think that people without religion care about not having religion.

I suspect "I don't care" is your daughter's pejorative for a similar answer. And isn't it wonderful that we've raised them so they don't have to deal with the undercurrent of religious guilt we deal with all the time? Theirs is a purer non-belief. I wish we'd had the same benefit. So good job, mom!

I'd say yes. I have four kids, from two marriages. 26, 22, 15, and 13. They were all exposed to religion via my exes, my parents, and my inlaws. They all identify as non believers at this point. I was never very vocal about my atheism when they were little. They all asked me at some point and in some way about it. I always presented them with my thoughts with an idea of how I arrived at them (as opposed to some empirical truth) and encouraged them to decide for themselves.

It's my belief that religion is both a cause and a symptom of mental illness. Therefore, I think you and I both did the best thing for our kids by raising them without religion because we told them the truth and gave them the best chance at living a sensible life based on proof, not fairy tales. That's what we're supposed to do. That being said, I bet you would probably have felt better about her answer if she actually stated that she does not believe. The answer she gave you was a bit noncommittal.

I think at 22 she still lacks some perspective, but really can we ever know how we'd be different if we were raised differently? And is it something we can change? That answer is no, so it is what it is, we just have to deal with it. My life would have been totally different had my mom not died or my dad not rushed into a second marriage. But it made me what I am and I'm OK, or even better than OK. Don't sweat what you can't change.

She doesn't care?! If she is an unbeliever, I would have expected her to be grateful. Hmm... maybe she's just too young to appreciate it.