I was ready before the divorce was final. It sucks feeling lonely in a marriage, and I was sick of that feeling. But then, after dating a while, it just didn't feel like it was worth the effort any more. Heartbreak and disappointment feel like they're better handled by a young person.

I’ve been divorced for two years. I was ready before I signed the papers. Met a wonderful man and then found out he was cheating on me. Do I regret the heartache? Hell no- both the divorce and dating again made me stronger. More sure of what I wanted. Gave me the conviction to keep trying but not to settle. I’m ok with being alone- I enjoy it. If someone comes along that fits, that’s great. If not, I’m still enjoying and living my life. My advice? Follow your gut. Only date when you feel ready. You are on NO ONE’S timetable . x

There are no rules, there are no timelines.
You do whatever you're ready to do, whenever you're ready to do it.
You can't judge anything based on the experiences of others. Your mileage may vary.
Just be gentle with yourself, and take all the time you need.
After my divorce, I waited a few years, tried dating, had a couple of really short-term relationships, then said "fuck it" to the whole damn thing.
I'm happier on my own. I don't miss being "coupled up". Every time I start to think "maybe I'll give it another shot", I read through profiles, and read other people's posts, and say "fuck that noise", once again.

Geez I was ready when I was still trying to get my ex out of the house.

I considered my marriage dead about 5 years before we actually got divorced so I had the time to mourn it, forgive myself and forgive him. I started dating pretty soon after I moved out. Despite feeling "emotionally divorced" for years before becoming legally divorced, I have learned a lot about myself in the past year. I still have a lot of learning to do and need to build up my self confidence. But I do feel comfortable dating. I think everyone is different.

When my wife and I separated, I lived at my office for a few months before moving in with a friend, it took a while for me to recover emotionally. I was in a band at the time, so I was able to occupy myself with that.

My roommate was also in my band - this was back in the days of MySpace - so I was communicating with a friend of his online, and we just kinda hit it off (as friends, no other expectations). One night I asked if she wanted to go see a band, just to hang out, I didn't plan it as a date - I really just needed to get out of the house. We enjoyed each other's company, then explored things from there.

We fell for each other in a very special way - all of it was accidental and unintended - and that lasted for a couple years. My point is that I wound up dating without trying, it just happened, and I don't regret it.

Deal with any issues.

1. Do you tend to ignore Red flags?
2. Are you a rescuer or Fixer?
3. Did you develop bad behaviors while trying to deal with bad behaviors.
4. Are you able to set and keep boundaries.
5. Do you take time to take care of yourself first and foremost.
6. Grieve the loss, learn from it and move on.
7. Have fun!!!

I felt like I was ready before my divorce was final, but I realized I needed some time alone. I surrounded myself with friends and enjoyed being single. It took someone pretty special (at the time) to awaken my desire to be in a relationship again. Take your time with it.

You are ready when you like yourself.

I'm guessing many were ready and dating before they divorced..but that's a discussion for another day.

I think every case is different. I left my 25 year marriage in 2007, and was ready to date right away, as I was so starved for attention, affection and for someone to really see me. Might not have been such a good idea, as I settled for something less than perfect, but it was something, rather than nothing.

Now to the present, I've recently left an 8 year relationship 4 1/2 months ago. My choice again, due to a misstep of my partner. However this time, I'm not starved for attention or affection, so am happy to enjoy some time alone. I have become a hermit in my own home, relishing my peace and quiet. Not sure I ever want to date again, as I'm finding I'm happiest alone at this time in my life.

So, while I'm not seeking a mate or even someone to date casually, I would be open if the right situation came along. I do get out socially once in a while, so we'll see. Just happy being me for now, without having to impress anyone.

In the 10 years since my divorce, I attempted to cultivate a deeper relationship with a casual friend I found interesting, and every time we'd run into each other something would spark for me again. Although we became closer friends, a romance never happened and eventually, she fell in love with someone else. Despite this occurrence, I don't consider it wasted time in that I had to learn something about what I did and didn't need in a relationship. I've been working on taking care of myself, tending to my needs and pursuing my interests. I get lonely sometimes, but for the first time in a while I feel as though I'm on the right path and just casual dating is good for me right now.

Per your own discovery, I applaud your honesty with yourself. And you found out that you weren't ready to date by dating, so you know by your experience as well. Each of us has our own journey to take, on our own path & at our own pace. I think some of us may have a lightning bolt of realization, some may find it gradually. It's all valid. And dreaming about the future (positively, I presume) is always a good thing. Just go with whatever works for you, I say, and all the best!

I can't really pinpoint it to a time frame. But, I had to get comfortable with myself. I had to get to the place where someone needs to be pretty special for me to give up my current state of comfort.

That cozy little rock is not a bad place..

No idea how, when or why.... All I know is, Elvis has left the building. I have just recently made peace with it. I will steal your words... I am going back to my cozy little rock. ?

We have lived separately and decided on the divorce one year ago Saturday. Divorce wasn't final until January 25th, 2018 but that was mostly for financial reasons ending 2017 "together".

I don't know that we are ever "ready" to date again. I mean it is a long awkward backwards step for most of us. I have dated but find like previous to marriage I get out at the first sign of incompatibility and it basically wears me down. It feels hopeless at times but I know how special what I had was and know it isn't going to be easy finding that again, if ever.

In the meantime I am trying to be "out there" without putting any special effort into making something happen that isn't there.

I think for me I am at that point where I miss my best friend almost more than the other aspects of the relationship. She was the centre of everything for me but no matter how hard I tried she never felt like she was. So I think I am out there as much looking to get back to my normal single state of having a bunch of female friends. Before marriage probably 5 of the 6 people I spent the most time with were female and now I have 0 in my life, unless maybe I just can't count. I need/value the perspective female influences can offer because I am kind of a dude. I understand nothing and females can always offer me a perspective I would probably not be able to come up with on my own.

Anyway I think it is a process and maybe you are and maybe you are not "ready" but for me I just put one foot in front of the other and try to make the best life I can for me while not dwelling too much on the past. It is impossible to not "compare" dates/potential partners but I try to treat each new partner as their own person and appreciate them for who they are not compare how they aren't that other person.

I do not believe in the future and just try living out today the best I can and hope someone shows up I can't live without and make that happen

I sometimes wonder if I will ever date again. Now, I don't say that to elicit pity, or get attention. I say it because my life is complicated (I have a disabled eternal child) and where I live (Mobile, AL) is not exactly teaming with other like-minded people. So with the cultural differences, and the responsibility of caring for my son, dating just kind of takes a back seat. It's not that I'm not interested, but I have to be very careful where I put my heart - and most people are not willing to take on the challenges of having a disabled person in their lives.

Let's just say it will take a very special person to even raise an eyebrow and get my attention.

I believe people -including me- are clinically crazy for a year after their divorce.

"Have you had a girlfriend since your divorce?" I ask men before meeting. I refuse to be the rebound girlfriend. Crazy-making behavior ensues: "Now I want you; now I don't."

Before dating, it is essential to work on our emotional issues.

"Blaming is a self-defeating behavior pattern. When we blame others, we are left feeling helpless and powerless. We do not feel in control of the quality and direction of our lives. And nothing changes.

"We need to move away from asking who's right and who's wrong to "What's going on here?" Ask questions that increase awareness of the situation, instead of affixing blame.

1. "What about the situation makes me angry?"
2. "What do I want to accomplish?"
3. "Who is responsible for what?"
4. "What, specifically, do I want to change?"
5. "What are the things I will and will not do?"

"When we stop blaming others, we increase our potential for growth. I believe our potential for change is directly related to our willingness to take responsibility for ourselves."

From "The Dance of Anger" by Dr. Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.

4 years, if you don't include "missing sex" then there's still no interest. People are the worst.

Both of us started quickly. I guess we had been ready for the marriage to end for a while and we’re excited to meet new people.

Its all dependent on the person, I have been divorced for about 7 months and have been on a couple dates. We talked for a bit and she seemed pretty cool so I out of thw blue offered to take her out. It was a great time but I found I'm just not ready for more than just a good night here and there. While on the other hand my ex was engaged 3 months after the finalization. It really all depends on the person.

Around 3 months, which probably sounds very soon, but the last couple years of the marriage were very unhappy and almost like being alone. I'd never really dated before and initially went on what seems like myriad dates, almost over compensating. Now 3 years later, after many frustrations and disappointments, dates are very few and far between. I've become quite discerning, seeking the right one, rather than anyone.

I was ready to date right away. Easier since we had agreed to divorce about year before it was finalized. It took a couple moderately long (2-3 months) relationships to realize I don't make myself emotionally available. So I'm just going to stay single and focus on my career until I'm open to caring about another person.

It's complicated.