Normally I'll invite em to come in and chat..However only of they bring coffee.

Funny story though, these 3 Mormon women would make regular stops at my door(and luckily they were all really cute) anywho so after inviting them in I wanted to be a polite host so I ran through the gambit of offering them refreshments..offered em coffee,beer,soda,tea..To which understandably they said no...

So then I offered em hot cocoa...Which they accepted just fine....knowing full well it had caffeine muahahahaha!

We have a no soliciting no religion plaque on our door and one or two have still knocked and I point to the sign and say “I guess you can’t read, you wouldn’t be a christian/mormon if you could” then the huff and go away. If they try to put they’re propaganda in our door, we rip it up and hand it back to them.

Simple just tell them the pope would not be too happy

We never get them which is a shame. I would love to have a polite conversation. I have had plenty of online chats with religious people and they have been very cordial. I do find it throws them a bit when you are nice and polite to them. They seem to be brainwashed that all non believers are evil.

I love the witnesses etc. coming to my door. Their faces usually drop now as they often remember me. You would think they would strike my address off their list.

I am always civil but usually get straight to it as they usually start to get away pretty fast.

They usually start with a ‘ do you think the world is getting better or worse’ kind of question. I explain how the world is demonstrably getting better. Less wars, far less death in those wars, less poverty, healthier people living longer etc.

After that I usually go with the ‘I am more moral than your god’ and point to the god ordered rape of King David's wives in 2 Samuel 12:11:-

 “This is what the Lord says: I am making trouble come against you from inside your own family. Before your very eyes I will take your wives away and give them to your friend, and he will have sex with your wives in broad daylight.

I then ask them if they believe in rape or slavery. They usually say they do not. I ask them why they believe that as it is not in the bible. In fact, quite the opposite. I point out that their morality is much more similar than my morality and it has nothing to do with their bible. It has to do with secular morality evolving over time.

They are usually backing away from me like I am a crazy person at this time saying something like ‘’well, we’ll be off as we obviously can’t convince you’’. I say, ‘’ but you haven’t even tried. If you’re correct and I go to Hell, on your heads be it’’.

They are usually running by this time

I do as my granny did let them in make tea and biscuits and agree with everything and usually end up (because in a previous life i was a lecturer in person centred counselling) being a comfort by actively listening to their tales of woe about the church - Many of the people whom i have seen have been vulnerable adults who have me horrific stories of abuse in their church, which htey don't seem to understand thenselves & I just hope I have been humane enough when they go on their way - We have had in teh past quite a litany of sexual abuse from priests in this area and its all under wraps and no one will really tell. But i have lived in sheltered accommodation for the last eight years so its not a place people easily come to here.

I tell them I am a Buddhist and I offer them dried fish.

I have signs posted that read no solicitation no trespassing all violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law

Two fun stories:
I was working in the garden with my sister and nephew when 3 JWs started coming down the back path. This was about the time that Tim Burton's "Mars Attacks" had come out. The language of the Martians was a loud and grating "ACK! ACK ACK!", which we found hilarious, and would often use in response to one another. We looked at one another in silent accord, and began a spirited ACK conversation. I then turned to our uninvited guests, and with arms outstretched, greeted them with a ferocious volley of "ACK! ACK ACK ACK!!".
Those witnesses can move pretty fast when motivated.
The second time, also with Witnesses, I was more direct. I was cutting up downed tree limbs with a chainsaw. When they got about halfway down our long driveway, I started the saw, and just stood there, expressionless. They retreated slowly, making no sudden moves.
Living rather deep in the jungle as I do now, I thought the opportunities for such fun were over. But just the other day, I found an invitation to the local JW church for their Easter service, in a plastic bag (#rainforest) affixed to my gate post with a rubber band. I'm SO sorry I missed them, but it does give me hope! ?

Many years ago, like in another lifetime it seems, I was one of those doorknockers. Really you don't have to try to shock anybody or be rude. They are entitled to their beliefs too. If you just say you are committed to your own religious beliefs and not interested they will leave.

I can't believe that talking through a doorway has more than a non-zero chance of changing their mind. I am convinced that to be going door-to-door means that these people are beyond the pale or reason. A) Say the equivalent of "Not interested" and close the door. I posted a sign that says "No Soliciting".

Talk to them about aliens, nicely. I Also like to hear their views on their religion, as long their not forceful

So I grew up as a Jehova's Witness and because of it I guess I tend to be a little more on the polite side about it... Honestly if I have the itme I'm more than happy to invite them in for a drink and let them speak ther piece.. I also really enjoy the challenge to my belief system.. Though funny story

I had these Mormon women coming to my door early in the morning.. As I work an overnight shift I would be very groggy and upset that they kept coming to my door so I told them if they want to talk to bring me coffee... And they did... Anywho so I allowed to come into my home and being a polite host I tried to find them something they could drink and despite knowing they couldn't have certain things I'd still offer them coffee,tea,soda,beer and what have you.. Then to be sneaky I offered them hot chocolate which they glad accepted and enjoyed whole heartedly....

A friend of mine made up a "Zeusist" pamphlet stressing the importance of praying to Zeus and the other Greek god and goddesses. He gets door knockers on a regular basis and has a bunch of these ready to hand out in return for a Gideon Bible or Book of Mormon.

I had the Jehova's Witness come one Saturday morning at 845 after a long Friday night and was still a little tipsy. They tried to invite themselves in to save me and I wasn't having it. I told them if they would bring a virgin I could sacrifice I would invite them in and listen to their pitch. That was over 2 years ago and I haven't seen them since!

This is the other sign: [amazon.com]

"Oh please come in, and I will show you, in the buybull, where it contradicts itself, and why I am an atheist. After that, we can put my grandson in the rotisserie and we will have dinner." The looks of horror! ???

I used to tell those people I was agnostic. That's a mistake. I think they go into overdrive and think they have a live on. To them agnostic means someone who hasn't heard the good news or some other such nonsense. Like we are just sitting around completely ignorant of jesus and christian mythology. Telling them you are an athiest is better because it is a little more clear where you are coming from, but the most ardent ones will still try to proselytize you. In my experience the most fun I have is to say you are jewish. There is no ambiguity and they know they will not be converting any jewish people. Plus, they usually want to leave quickly because they don't want to get any Jew germs on them lol.

Back in Florida when I kept reptiles, I would see them coming down the street, and answer the door DRAPED IN SNAKES!! They never returned!

remove your door knocker and have a secret bell installed that masquerades as an ornament that only your bessie mates know is there.

I put signs up for no solicits and don't answer

I do not answer to cold callers, religious or otherwise.

As soon as they introduce themselves, I ask them to leave and I shut the door. I figure there is no point in wasting my time or theirs.

I was raised as a JW and I took a lot of abuse going door-to-door. I will tell you from personal experience that these folks are totally brain-washed and it really does no good to engage them in any discussion at the door--they have to come to certain realizations on their own. If you really don't want them to come to your door again, the best thing to do is to politely tell them that you are really not interested and that you would like to be put on their "do not call list." There's no guarantee that you won't hear from them again after a few years--just repeat the protocol. Also, placing a "Do Not Tresspass" sign will sometimes do the trick since, legally they can be sued if they do not oblige.

It's not funny or interesting, but I just tell them that I am not interested, and it's true, I am not. I have too many things to do, or to read.