A MATURE UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE ISN'T THAT HARD!!!
Couple will have disagreements, actually, a good loud argument is much healthier then holding negative feelings inside.
But when a TRUE couple, with REAL love, find themselves in a disagreement, though they may be at odds, this does not mean their mutual affection or commitment to each other is in question. It does not mean they need or want each other any less.
Reassurance of unconditional love, knowing that your partner will still be there if you make a mistake or disagree with them, leads to a feeling of security and stability and trust and intensity that can empower both parties and positively change lives.
Those of you, who use the state of your "love" as a bartering chip and as a weapon, are not in love... you are immature. You are guilty of emotional abuse and horridly self-serving.
Emotional blackmail is destructive and hurtful.
Grow up.
7
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That's beautiful. That's what I am looking for.
sassygirl3869
Level 9
Jan 14, 2018
0
Good point about arguments. With a mature relationship comes a confidence that comes from understanding the other and being understood. Disagreements are an important part of a relationship. However, you can be as mature as you can be and not have security in a relationship, because relationships are a two-way street that no one person controls on their own.
Love and relationship are not the same. One is an individual choice. The other requires responsibility of two people. One alone cannot make a relationship work.
Similarly, love and "being in love" are different. Again, the first is a choice. The latter is a hormonal reaction. The first thinks about the well-being of the other person. The latter focuses on one's own feelings. We have to learn the valuable art of arguing fairly and respectfully if we really hope to understand our partner and thereby "love" in the mature sense. Otherwise, staying quiet just just to avoid arguing will leave us not knowing each other as well as we could.
MikeInBatonRouge
Level 8
Jan 14, 2018
2
Never go to bed angry with your spouse. You don't know if the venom spit at each other will be the last words spoken. Always say "I love you", and a gentle kiss goodnight. You could die. She could die.
Jack-of-scythes
Level 6
Jan 14, 2018
1
It does not matter if you reassure someone if they don’t do the same for you. And I can’t stay up until 2 am everyday, my work suffers. It’s exhausting living with someone so full of needs that they stop you from sleeping at night for weeks.
Although a good intention, I seriously doubt this is possible in any long term relationship?
I doubt unconditional love. But relationships do seem to survive better when people are honest with the feelings in an environment where they can discuss without fear of repercussions.
Rugglesby
Level 8
Jan 14, 2018
4
If the conditions upon which love is based need to be discussed often or if someone needs to be reminded that love is conditional, then there are problems. I think the point is that love should feel unconditional in a secure relationship.
I agree with you. To belabor your point --because that's what I do on weekends, 
--I believe in a sort of (virtually) unconditional love, but it is not the romantic kind. Parental love for a child might qualify. But even then, it does not mean you have to blindly put up with any horrendous behavior that child might put you through. As for a partner, if you commit to a person. Even for life, that is a choice that you hopefully keep thinking about and evaluating throughout life. Even if you stick with it, it is a choice and by (some) definitions therefpre not unconditional. Hormonal infatuation of "being in love" is not mature love and at any rate can wax or wane without the person's conscious choice, so that isn't unconditional either.
@MikeInBatonRouge I agree, love for children is the only one I can think of that is unconditional, I love mine unconditionally and it has been tested at times.
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