That I need to be satisfied with me first. All else falls into place after you're okay with being alone.

I've learned that not everyone who comes into my life is meant to stay in my life.
If I'm lucky, I figure out what I'm supposed to learn from each person.
For those who have remained in my life for any significant length of time, I have learned
much. Patience, tolerance, acceptance, kindness, they are all gifts which I've been lucky enough to receive. They are also gifts I've learned to give in return.

Don't invite someone to move in with me within two weeks.

I've learned you have to work at it to make a relationship last. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to, and sometimes you have to say "I'm sorry" even when you were not the one that was wrong.

Well as my 23 year marriage comes to a close, I believe that I have learned from the vast number of mistakes I made over the course of this relationship. I think the most important thing is to retain a sense of self and how to best apply yourself in a giving and loving way. That and age and maturity will make all future relationships hopefully more rewarding and enriching.

That I am always right! LOL just kidding.... sort of... maybe

My first wife broke my heart. My next lover gave me the confidence to believe in my self. After living with 8 different women, 2 of them marriage, I decided that the math says it's me. I'm OK with that. I go honest into every relationship with the shared knowledge that I will never marry again. I will only live with someone that has another place to go if we break up as do I. I do not wish to hurt any feelings, make someone uncomfortable or try to change them, I ask the same. I have one son and a grandchild, they are always first. Those are my simple rules. When I am with a woman I am exclusive to her.

People are lovely. there are so few muppets but we still have to deal with them

Went through a divorce after being married 25 years. Took off a couple of years, and then started dating some. It didn't take long to find that I didn't want to be around a religious person. Then switch to only dating Unitarian women up here in the northwest. Found a fine atheist woman with a similar world view, and the rest is history. With a large family and lots of kids and grandkids, needed a woman who was comfortable with large families. My wife only has one son, but has 4 sisters, and a family about as loud as mine. We like to do things together, but also make room to do things separately. Wife is playing piano for a musical as a local theater. We play in a band together (Celtic) and I play with two other groups. My degree is in engineering, her's in journalism. She's better with words, and I'm the math one, and problem solver.

I've learned that I'm really independent. That I really and earnestly do not need a lot out of someone.
That I'm resilient and can roll with the punches.
That I pick up quick on how someone feels.
That I'm a terrible communicator, but astounding mitigator.
That sometimes my selfishness gets in the way, but my patience is rock solid.
That it is not about 'love' it is about a life long friendship.
That my dad was right.

I haven’t been in a lot of them, so I think I still have the romantic notions about love that perhaps a naïve young person believes in, which is probably why I’m single and ridiculously picky about dating.
Though I have learned that I should trust my rational instincts, and if something seems like it’s wrong it probably is.

1. All I care about is Money
2. All I want to do is work
3. I am Judgemental
4. I think I am better than anyone else

Well that's what I've been told anyway. Not sure that I learned any of it.

What I've learned is that:

1. Money is important. It SUX to be paying all of the bills and for all of the partying by yourself
2. See #1 ----there's a difference between wanting to and having to work
3. I refer to it as "Critical Thinking".
4. Told me to by women who....think that they are better than anyone else.

I don't know how to choose a lady.....that's what I've learned

Nothing is forever. Your standing there saying I do. Years later your divorcing. Years later its I do again. It makes you wonder. We really do live in an illusion and time is only a moment of here, and there, and tomorrow. I've learned that your spouse is privilege and you can loose it. I've learned that love is an emotional experience and it requires you as a person to nurture it or loose it. If you control your lover then they grow up and leave. If you respect your love, they can still grow up and leave. I've learned that being single is not bad. I've learned that your only guaranteed today so appreciate it and understand that your going to die someday and leave your legacy to your spouse that stayed with you through the hard times. After she dies then the kids can have it. Its really how you want to be perceived in life. He was an ass hole or he was my best friend. Just be kind and caring. People remember that are there for you later.

lol...I've never been married, or even close to it but I thought of this...(read: humor, not cynicism)

That I am special and capable of taking anything and everything and because of that my heart never been broken. I have a special way of healing myself via writing that works for me and for me only. I am human and romantic to a fault and I don't want or desire anyone to change for me because I am surely not changing. I won't mind adaptation. I will find my next soulmate and if I don't no big deal. A witness to my life does not have to be my matching pair. As humans we are we will adapt and survive in a collective freedom within our boundaries. Life is an adventure... it is a shot that tastes better with a chaser. And until the last breathe there is never a last call. So live your life to the fullest and without fear. Love is not what hurts you. Last night I received a call from a former possible flame that we backed down a while back for logistic reasons. Tonight I wrote this. No title or music yet but I got inspired easy to write things off.

just because she called me
first time this year
on a time without tears...
in my eyes

just because she is holding...
all the cards
I am not going to stop
rolling the dice

is she feeling me?
what is she expecting to find?
I told her
I am going west...
not going south

she postponed
talking about her lover
I held back
talking what's on my mind

we both proper and kind
but underneath
are temperatures high?
or reflex brought by...
memories of better times

is she nervous?
calming down her heart
she strung her guitar
while I explain
repeating my plans
I sense a pout
I am going west...
not going south

is she baiting me with strings?
appealing to my sense
of noise on time
serenaded by a mermaid
exposed by my low tide

paying more attention
to the strumming
than the voice
I feel a flow
my heart awakens
but is time for goodbye...
and not hello
so we hang up

How overrated they are. Seriously.

There's more, but that's the key take-home for me.

That although Freud often gets maligned, he had some good insight. After several failed relationships, and a mother who had a very limited ability to be compassionate or loving, I'm forcing myself to connect the dots even though I'm not crazy about the picture it is forming.

To be honest, to to be discriminating and to be willing to compromise.

To look for someone more compatable. Seems all the ladies I have been out with have the notion that some magical creature will one day fix all of their problems. No matter how insane they were I could not agree with that.

That I honestly don't really like many people and would rather be alone.

Once my son was an adult, I decided I was never going to do anything that I don't want to do just to make another person happy.

I'm not disposable.

That actions mean more than words.
That if someone doesn’t respect your boundaries early on it will only get worse.
That one person can not make a relationship work alone.
And to never open a joint credit card with ANYONE.

I don't really know. I'm sure I learned something, but I feel like it was all so long ago that it was a different life entirely.