Remember what it says on the cover of 'The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy' - "Don't Panic!"

You know I read this and wow. I have had to deal with this kind of shit for years. So, I totally understand where you are coming from. Can't seem to get ahead and when you think you do the rug gets pulled out from underneath your feet. Its not worth staying in a toxic relationship. Its created some things In me that I do not like and have to unlearn. The problem is we are surrounded by unsympathetic human beings who have not empathy whatsoever. Let alone listening to in-laws or family say you need to turn to jesus. Its nauseating. Just take one day and one hour at a time as you must.

Being a single mother is very challenging. Stay strong, rebuild, and keep moving forward!

I left my abusive ex. He was gaslighting me. It was hard. Why can't your sister be a parent and watch her own kids? I'm just curious is all. I'm not trying to be rude or anything. Being a single mom would be frustrating. I just don't see why women have kids at all if they can't take care of them? (E.g. Your sister) I know I can't be a good parent to children, that is why I don't have any kids. I can hardly take care of myself most days. The littlest things aggrivate me. Kids would not be a good idea for me. I was put into foster care for 6 months. My parents couldn't take care of me.

Wow! That would be a lot to handle for anyone.

I am 100% certain that you are better off without your ex.

There are resources available to help you. Dialing 211 is a good place to start.

[211.org]

Good luck!

no, it isn't better. this will be just a chapter in your life so don't worry.

You have a lot on your plate, and I can totally understand - I've been right where you are now. My kids mom left us (after her third affair) right before my disabled son turned 4, so the kids and I moved back to Mobile (my home town) from Vermont, and moved in with my mom til I could find a job, place, etc... Everyone had two criticisms for any one helpful thought. Add to it their inability to deal with a mentally disabled eternal child, and the poor job market at the time, I was tempted to kill what little savings I had and put us up in a motel just to get away from the 'help' offered by family.
Please don't apologize for reaching out, or for having a low day. There are many good people on this site, many of us who have stood right where you are now, and we've gotten through to the other side of it. You will too - I promise.

Always here if I can help.

You're definitely better off without your ex. Things may be rough now, but they can better - if you'd stayed with someone like that, they never would have done and in all likelihood would have got worse.

All the best for the future.

@Jswearingen92 you have friends here. My physically handicapped daughter was 8 when I left my husband. I had been a full-time sales representative for Brach's Candy and was on the road in sales. It wasn't easy making this move. Who would want to date a mother of a handicapped kid? Is there anywhere else you can go? Finding a roommate would be less toxic than your judgemental family. My family was angry with me for leaving too and insisted it was my fault my ex almost choked me to death. You need to be in a more supportive environment. Maybe get some help from a women's group. See what you have for resources and seek them out.

Keep calm. Be strong. Your kids need you to be strong. Try not waste your sleep on it.