This post wasn't to criticize anyone by the way. It helps me understand how others communicate and what is expected/suggested by both parties. I live in a galaxy far away lol and messaging for me for a while to get to know someone before moving to the phone. If I don't like your words then I probably wouldn't care to hear your voice. This method also helps with not getting too attached too soon as that has happened before a few times and ended up being just a waste of time. The problem with getting attached too soon becomes a bigger problem because you so far away and there is not much you can do about that. I mean, I'm a single father and it will take me about seven months to save up enough money to go visit anyone just in the United States. And somehow, I don't see a lot of people wanting to come to Alaska

If she won't share a picture, how do you know if you want to continue? She's not forthcoming. Move on, I say.

All this will vary based on comfort levels, honesty, and perceived compatibility.

If they are over-the-top with praise, include a personal email/phone number, or ask for mine in a first contact , they're OUT. Usually the method of scammers.

I like to write a bit on the site first. If someone seems reliable, is a good communicator, and open with their responses, then I suggest some phone time. I don't text - ever.

Sometimes, if it all feels good, I'll suggest meeting right away - without ever having talked at all. Ya just never know !

Instagram.
It's messenger works fine.
And there is usually a wide scope into people's livelihoods if they use it frequently enough.
And you can video chat with discretion like Snapchat.

I'm a "Catfish" addict, so I feel qualified to chime in--despite having next to no online dating experience myself.

Anyone who won't Skype or video chat is not the person in the picture.

Anyone who won't talk on the phone is not the gender they say they are.

Those are just the rules. I do not make them, I just bingewatch them on MTV.

I can totally understand people not wanting to give out their personal details--especially pictures!-- tostrangers on the internet--I'm that way. But if someone is really interested in connecting with you, they'll listen to your needs and make some kind of gesture toward at least meeting you half way. They'll give you something, volunteer something else instead.

Just use your words and make your desires known. Maybe you'll find there's a mismatch between what you and the other need to feel safe and secure. Too bad, but you can't play by different rules and expect to have a satisfying and fair game.

If it were me, I'd send snail mail with handwritten letter, a card, photo, cartoon, pressed flower, etc. Physical stuff is much more real, handwriting is more intimate. So much more fun, especially when someone is so far away that you're unlikely to see them face-to-face. But only if they're receptive enough to give you an address, obvs.

Thanks everyone for your input and thankful even more you were able to understand my post. Lol I had to check it this morning to see if it was even a coherent
I was just curious how everyone else handles communication (living near someone as opposed to being far away).
I wasn't meaning that I won't talk on the phone or skype/FaceTime by the way. Was simply saying with a busy life, msg is the most constant for of communication.

If I am interested in a guy who messages me after some messaging I will offer my phone number. Texting or talking on the phone usually happens next. My current photo is posted. If the other party is not forthcoming its a red flag. I'm open and spontaneous. Actually planning to visit someone shortly. Long distance. May relocate.

I am worried of Desperation in the other side. Face to face is important to me because is the only reality I accept. I remember the beautiful girl I liked a lot in college until I got her high and she laughed... I am still scared, her eyes got bigger and she was like an 18 yr old maiden witch about to sacrifice me. Maybe I should had not gotten high... all in my head you know?

I prefer to keep to the site for a few messages... get a feel for who the person is, then digit exchange for texting, talk on the phone after that... With distance, it can be difficult as it can take time to actually meet someone face to face.

MSG is great and I don't mind communicating with it. Although I rather facetime/Skype so I know who I'm talking too and no catfishing. Words sound great on paper (computer) but just to be safe and really know who you are - facetime. If I can't do that then I don't want to hook up. I don't care.

Have you ever seen catfish? lol.