After a year, I seem to finally be done dreaming about my ex bf. It was a happy relationship with an abrupt, painful end.

The dreams were immensely pleasurable while I was having them, and exquisitely painful once I awoke: I would dream we were back together, or contemplating getting back together, or never broke up in the first place. Nothing like my thoughts and feelings in waking life. Completely the opposite.

I hated those dreams. I hated myself for having them. I'd be wrecked for a whole day afterward.

The nature of the dreams changed gradually, until the last time I dreamed about him there was nothing at all to do with romance whatsoever. I haven't dreamed of him since.

I guess my subconscious needed a year to process.

I cannot recall the last time I had a nightmare. Certainly, during the course of my life there has been plenty of material for some serious ones, but I just don't seem to have them very often. Strange, weird, "what the fuck was that all about" dreams, yes. Frightening dreams, no, not really. I guess I'm fortunate in that respect since, as I mentioned, there's certainly plenty of subject matter in my brain's memory banks to assemble something positively terrifying.

I don't know all the details but if you're still have nightmares about an abusive relationship that you got out of.... you might have ptsd. I'm not a pro headshrinker so don't take my word on it go talk to one and find out. Lots of help out there. I still have really bad dreams every night but I know they're dreams now when it's happening. It gets better if you put in the work

Yes - I have nightmares - ending a long term marriage sucks. My divorce will be final before the end of this month. Working on moving past it all.

I can't remember having one for years now. A lot of dreams that I can remotely remember just turn out to be abstract nonsense that I soon forget moments after I wake up. I've had a few sleep paralysis moments that got pretty stressful because you start seeing weird shadows noises all while being unable to even lift your arm. I did manage to force myself out of it once, but holy crap was that an effort.

I get night terrors. So I take Minipress for them. I don't get nightmares often now. I don't dream either.

I have been divorced from my first wife for 24 years, but still have nightmares about her -- though not as frequently as before. Some people inflict so much emotional trauma that one cannever forget them or the trauma.

I'm not divorced, so this is more generally about nightmares: I never really got scared from nightmares, even as a kid. Being chased, falling down, being late or unprepared for something. I still have some of those dreams every now and then: being back at college but not knowing where my class is, or having never attended class all semester, or having done exactly zero work for a class and having a test. It's not often, but occasionally. What's odd is that I dreamed as a kid of driving off a bridge, like the car was too big for the bridge or whatever, but as an adult I never have that dream, and it's a real possibility now that I could drive off a bridge. My real scary nighttime experiences were night terrors. These didn't happen often, but more when I was ill and feverish. It wasn't that there was anything happening, just a feeling of overwhelming fear, often with a repetitive sound or something or a vague concept (like the thought and sound of a hammer striking a rock, or a general idea about a television show, nothing scary otherwise). I haven't really had those sorts of experiences as an adult, though I'll still have a sort of disorientation in my dreams when I'm sick.

I am so sorry that you had to live through that. No person should stay with an abusive spouse. My ex-husband and I were together for 10 years and he was emotionally abusive the last 3 years. I tried to get him out but by law I couldn't because he was on the deed to the house. I finally got him to agree to divorce me but I do have nightmares that he comes back and I can't get rid of him. You Are Not Alone. I wake up just so happy that SOB isn't here anymore.

No. I just began having dreams again so I know I'm sleeping better. One dream was about being married to my husband who passed away in 1991. Weird. He wanted to buy me a big diamond ring and I hated it, but it wasn't a nightmare.

We divorced in 2006. I've yet to have him show up in any dream, good or bad. At least none that I can remember.
Now, if you want to talk about nightmares, I have recurring nightmares about zombies.
"Night of the Living Dead" ruined me. Saw it when I was about 10 or 11. Been absolutely freaked out by zombies every since. I can barely tolerate the White Walkers on Game of Thrones because of it.

I never had ex-wifemares, but what you describe could be PTSD symptoms. Have you considered therapy? This is a rhetorical question, of course.

Thinking about this, 20 years is a lot to work through. I think it's normal to have nightmares for quite a while after that long. My stint with abuse was only a few years. I had witnessed it growing up and already knew those things didn't get better and he wasn't willing to get help for his temper. I'm curious if you are in counseling or anything like that? Sometimes they can help walk you through some meditations and dream control methods to help you work through them and eventually get rid of them.

I had 2 last year. My ex from about 25 years ago, the only ex I am not on good terms with also mother of my 2 kids turned up where I worked. I don't see her at all, even though we live in the same small town. I had to look a dozen times to be certain it was her. We stayed away form each other, but it did get the Adrenalin going. Always confrontation. Sadly, it wasn't a dream, she was there, I never asked anyone why.

I can't even remember my ex and the things we did. I'm lucky more then others

And don't feel guilty or sad about the past with your ex. Abusers are their own worst enemy and responsible for their actions. Not you.

My last long term relationship ended nine years ago and just the other night I woke up yelling "nightmare".

yes, I do but they have to be good and close to reality because I am very aware now.

What is a nightmare? I had my ex in my dreams, sometimes seems we are married... but I don't call that a nightmare. I have some tough dreams where I am dealing with my death but I don't call anything nightmare anymore. Labyrinth without finding the exit is not a nightmare anymore, actually I enjoy the not able to get the fuck out.

Yes I do . She's not turned up yet though .

Yes I do . She's not turned up yet though .