I consider myself an agnostic atheist. Your description of him sounds like a doubting theist of some sort. I don't actually agree with the earlier comment that he will probably return to Christianity. What is that assumption based on? I started out quite Evangelical and eventually threw it out. My main advice to you, for what its worth, is to check your own thoughts about what these conversations are all about. If you are seeking eventually to pull into perfect theological agreement as a couple, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. And that isn't necessary. Most couples who care enough to have honest personal opinions will maintain some individual differences. So long as he is no fundamentalist trying to beat you over the head with his religious views, there is room for some dialogue. Try thinking of "God" when he says it as his word for the organizing forces that run the universe. Suggest to him that if there is a god, it must not care that much about making sure we know it with certainty, because it would have convinced us easily, that is, if this god is all-powerful. And if it is all-knowing, it would also understand why we doubt. If is is love, it would absolutely never make billions of humans, make us as limited in understanding as we are, and then torture us for eternity for being as we were made. It is proof the Christian conception of God is impossible. The best any of us can do with our lives is try to live them well, connect with others in some healthy, constructive way, and learn some wisdom. Maybe your boyfriend will come around to realizing that his god is actually physics. ????

Sounds like you have some more serious problems with communication than differences in belief. I would suggest some counselling might help with this. As far as the differences in belief goes, it sounds like he is more of a lapsed christian than an agnostic and it is likely he will return to it as he gets older or has children. Are you serious about this relationship? If you are then you had better give this serious thought.

If he has all the other qualities you seek, does it matter if he believes or doubts? If he can’t twll you why he favors a particular sports team, do you get upset? It’s not necessary for people to be mirror images to be happy.

Hahah
I would love to give an idea, but I have never dated. So, I'll just laugh

As someone who has been married twice, I know one thing for sure? People change very little. If they were closed minded and judgmental as a religious person, they'll probably be a judgmental agnostic. Of course people can change, but our DNA and personality traits are there to keep us safe. Hard to overcome a life time of superstition & fear.

On a personal level, if you wish to change someone to make yourself more comfortable with them, is that love & respect?

He doesn't really sound like an agnostic to me. He sounds like a theist with Christian leanings. Does he identify as agnostic? Or do you think he's agnostic, perhaps because he's less bible-thumping than others in your community? From what you described, he sounds to me to be pretty committed to a faith-based world view. That may or may not be a problem moving forward, but I think whenever value systems and world views diverge to a great extent it increases the likelihood that there will be conflict. Unless you agree to disagree and don't talk about religion, I'm not sure you can avoid a collision of ideas — in which case it really depends on the two of you and whether you're the sort of people who can disagree and then set aside the conversation for something less confrontational.

That is exactly my experience with very religious people. I just tend to state my disagreements but let bygones be bygones. I have learned with religious folk its better to play along with their shows and customs. I guess its obvious from the post, but most religious folk don't read or attempt to read. THey just have a belief they are 100% sure is true and everyone else should believe it too. I just approach it by stating its silly but from my view, but that i accept it as a statement from that persons emotional state. Or their beliefs are emotions disguised as beliefs about the supernatural. As its convenient to use something you can't use logic on, like emotions and the supernatural.

As long as you to respect each other that's all that matters have some cool discussions.

There will always be disagreements with people we get close to. It would be boring if we were all the same. Some find it easier to end a question they can not answer with god which ends their curiosity. An atheist wants to know more and as long as there is a question an investigation continues. He should be able to believe anything he wants, if that makes him comfortable, as should you. Unless he challenges you about it, let it be. If he does he has to give you equal time. Ask him what books he has read that he would like you to read on this subject. Read it in return that he read one of your books and discuss your findings. The Illusion of God might be a good start for him.

If he's important to you and you want him in your life in the near and far future, agree to disagree but keep an open mind that he just may be swayed somewhere down the road due to something you said that sparked his fancy.

It sounds like he isn't agnostic so much as just a flat out christian.. If he makes his arguments without reason or logic.. then there is no way to have those discussions. You can try to influence him with examples of the horrid actions/inactions of his god, but that may easily become hostile. You're best bet is to avoid the topic.. anything else will just continue to be salt in the wound. (Divorced a theist)

Sounds to me like he is a Christian but wants to pitch being an agnostic so he can "hang out" with you. But hey, in addition to being an atheist, I am also a skeptic, and half the time, a complete a-hole.

If faith is the opposite of reason and people are bound to possess some combination or percentage of the two, then focus on that similarity. It seems to me the trick is not to get hung up on things that the percentage of difference is minimal. I try to think of views on this topic as personal, when they leave the personal realm they don't function very well. On that note the things we tell ourselves have been shaped by the confluence of our openness to the experiences when they occur, he just hasn't had the effective motivation to change a conviction. Horses can be lead to water, blah blah blah. My suggestion would be to consider your own narrative and whether it's suiting you or the relationship, as that you can assuredly change if you so desire. You can ask and hope for it, but expecting others to change is generally a death sentence for relationships.

Base on what you have discussed, He does not show an Agnostic's way of thinking. The only advice I can suggest is, understand him. Talk to him directly that, he is not suppose to think like that if he is agnostic. Tell him straight. Besides, Agnosticism is a branch and a doctrine of Philosophy. I do not want to to sound edgy but If he thinks without logic, criticism and without questioning, maybe he does not know the nature of Agnosticism, not to offend but he maybe just a self proclaimed "Agnostic".

The bible is a terrible guide 2 anything. As far as our origin n shit...I certainly think beings can evolve to higher forms...its just a matter of time. Why fret over it...if humanity has a purpose, its 2 insure and promote the biodiversity of evolution. Everything else right now is a serious waste of life anyway.

Human life is finite and knowledge is probably infinite. We all have premises we accept as fact and premises that we consider to be fallacies that we do not do the mental work on. It might not be important to him to tear down all his theistic beliefs, even if they don't have the foundation of faith. It's kind of how I grew up learning that Pluto was a planet and I accept that it's not anymore, but I don't care enough to understand why. If I accidentally refer to Pluto as a planet and you correct me, I'll just shrug you off, not because I disagree, but because it's not important to me. I think some converts fall into that way of seeing things.

Based on how you're responding to other posts, it sounds like this is not central to the relationship, but you are struggling with your own identity as an atheist. I don't mean to downplay whatever is happening with you and your boyfriend, but you may want to consider how firm you are in your belief and your identity and make sure he respects that. Being an atheist trapped in a sea of theists can make you a little defensive, so I'd advise you to see if the issue is hitting other buttons. If he respects and validates your identity and you do the same for him, you don't have to agree.

Look, if you love someone it doesn't matter what they believe (or not.) I was brought up in a relatively nonjewish family. Until I turned 13 and tossed religion in the trash. My wife was from Europe and a semi-practicing jew. When we had children we left it up to them to decide. One became a non-believer and the other a lesbian jew. The non-believer became somewhat religious when he married (a christian). More so when they had a child. But back to my wife and me...I assisted her through medical school and we stayed together for about 20 years, then we decided to divorce. Religion did NOT play any part in our divorcing, just we couldn't (didn't want to) live together. Perhaps she is a psychiatrist thought I was crazy, I'll never know. We don't speak to each other any longer. But the time we were together was wonderful. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! Your case might or might not be different, but I'd say living with an agnostic is a heck of a lot better than living with a religious person.

Why make someone you love defend something they barely believe in? Good grief, I'd be happy to find someone that didn't "praise jesus" or think I was going to hell.

What do his actions tell you about him?

Sounds the same as a Protestant/Catholic squabble. Just bang both your heads together and tell each other to get over it. It doesn’t matter. And if either of you think it does matter your wasting your life!

Before any first cause, possibility has to exist timelessly.

I'm sorry but your boyfriend is no agnostic.

And if you truly love him, i believe you'd respect his views( whatever they might be) learn to live the differences eventually!

Being an atheist is a journey which some people do very quickly and others take longer. Indoctrination is a difficult thing to shake off. Undoubtedly he should be persuaded to discuss with you some of the threads that have affected or reinforced your thinking and are found on this very site. Better still get him to ask questions on this site. Inquiry is the best mindset.

This reminds me of my "Christian" Mother. During a conversation she once said something that caused me to ask her directly if she believed that Jesus Christ was her lord and savior. She said "No". I then said something about her not being a Christian which she seemed to find insulting and insisted, "Of course I am a Christian". (WTF!) At that point all logic to the conversation seemed to leave the room and I just changed the subject. It was clear that her parents were Christians and that she totally indoctrinated to believed that Christians were good people and non-Christians were not and she WAS a good person and, therefore, a Christian. To argue that point were fighting words to her and I was not prepared to punch it out with my Mom (even though I'm pretty sure that I could kick her ass!)

Live and let live

if he defends the bible as a guide to anything at all and refuses to read it, then there is no reason for you to ever discuss this subject with him at all in hopes of any rational conversation. that is a gone train. he has admitted he will not be rational about it.