Tough love can cut both ways. I helped my son battle the alcoholism that kept our home unstable for years, until it became time to show him the door. I still know that it helped someone, not sure who.

Yes over a 3rd of USA people need treatment but none is allowed for the illness of religion. ...dopers bipolars violent women have darkened my life but I keep turning to healthy people LIKE MY PEERS HERE www.agnostic.com

My first wife was/is Bipolar. At first it was not noticeable but gradually got worse. After her father died it went to the next level - a series of affairs. Her last affair was with an alcoholic and she divorced me, kidnapped our daughter and moved halfway across the world. She never would go to therapy because she said all the doctors wanted to do was get in her pants (I thought why not them; at least they might help). Her husband died from Leukemia and she has realized she is incapable of having a meaningful relationship.

My second LTR was alcoholic. A maintenance drinker so it was hard to recognize. She went through De-tox and for 5 years was a wonderful person and we had a great relationship. I went through Al-anon and other tough love sessions and, like you, learned about enabling. Unfortunately she relapsed (and got her JD) and disappeared.