Since I'm involuntarily alert at 4:27AM, I may as well pose this question that's been trying to form itself in my head for several minutes: What has been THE most significant event of your life? I mean the event that you feel has defined, to yourself if no one else, who you think you are to a great extent, or has been the most instrumental in motivating you to want to be a good person and a contributor to society?
For me, I would have to say that event would have to be the birth of my daughter.
Can't say that there's been "one defining moment" for me. Although, I think I've had one defining friendship that's made me want to be better. The exposure to, and influence of, my best friend has made an incalculable difference in my life. Her generosity of spirit and way of looking at the world seems to have rubbed off on me. Or maybe it's just knowing her that makes me want to be a better person. Then she went and had kids, and that was it. I knew I needed to keep working at being better so I would be worthy of being their "aunt". So, yeah, no kids of my own, but I am "Aunt" to a goodly number of nieces and nephews. It's been the best part of my life, and I want to continue being better and doing what's right, so I can be a good example to them. The beauty part is that I don't have to pay for braces, or put any of them through college.
The moment the "sperm" among all the others swimmers clinged to that egg to fertilize it because without that moment... everything else will be Irrelevant. And you will be asking that question to a product of a different sperm and not be me. By the way... I was not born bad so why I need to define the turning good moment?
I always wanted to be a good person, I don't remember a defining moment for that. I do, however, remember a defining moment when I realized I was good enough without anyone else.
Very well said!!
I was in high school in Reseda, California. I was in an experimental class called Everyday People. (Think of the song by Sly and the Family Stone.) Loosely, and from memory, the purpose of the class was to bring together a bunch of kids from ALL kinds of backgrounds - money/not money, all races, all sexual identities (that were known at the time), races, ethnicities, etc. to examine our beliefs and ideas about race, class, homosexuality, cultures, stereotypes, etc.
From there, several of us were lucky enough to attend a week-long Brotherhood/Sisterhood (Anytown) camp up at Pilgrim Pines created by the NCCJ (National Conference of Christians and Jews -- the name has since changed.) It was an intensive week of everything we discussed in Everyday People multiplied by more time, more days, and about six times the number of people. The program was very structured and very deliberate in their purpose.
There were group exercises with all of us at once, breakout groups of women only, men only, groups by race, etc. For example, we had a very intensive day focused solely on rape and sexual assault which included an exercise of the boys/young men being the targets of cat-calling (some of which was ruthless). Another afternoon, we walked into a room simulating our arrival in a new country for vacation or something -- the leaders were talking to us in other languages and getting irritated that we could not understand them, the volume increasing more and more as we struggled to figure out what they wanted us to do with the paperwork.
Everything was very challenging, eye-opening, rewarding, and life-changing. We sat around by the campfire at night singing -- and every time I hear "Everyday People" it takes me back to that week. It was so much and so hard and so intense and so fucking awesome. I am who I am today because of Everyday People and Brotherhood/Sisterhood USA.
When my daughter was in high school, I wanted her to go to the exact camp I went to, but they were no longer doing it in California. She did go to an Anytown camp in Ohio, but I think the program may have been watered down.
Sorry for such a long post (what else is new, huh?), but I am kinda passionate about their work. I would HIGHLY recommend anybody have their kids experience something like this. As well as an Outward Bound camp. They are both character building.
I had our group photo on my Facebook page! Good memories.
Just one little blurb from their web site on Anytown -- probably more succinct than I made it.
NCCJ ANYTOWN begins when a diverse group of high school students come together for a weeklong residential experience. Through interactive games, workshops, and discussions, delegates explore topics like prejudice, discrimination, and bias. Delegates create a model for an ideal community based on respect, understanding, and inclusivity, in which members not just tolerate, but celebrate each other's differences.
Good post, just what I had in mind when I asked the question. The ANYTOWN program sounds awesome. BTW, I lived in Reseda myself for several years in the 80's.
@BlueWave yes, I'm in Corona. Not my first choice of places to live, but you know, circumstances...
No, did not go to school (elhi) in the SFV, only to CSUN and Pierce College. I was born and raised in Lynwood, CA., it's sorta southeast L.A. Believe it or not, I went to SDA schools for grades 1 thru 11. They didn't want me back for the final year of high school.
Being sent to West Berlin in the US Army in 1959. So many aspects of my life flowed from that event -- much of my belief system, my first marriage, my two daughters, much of my intellectual development, much of my self-definition.
That was a really really long time ago.
The realization that the only thing I have ever done, was the best that could have been done, with what I had to work with at that time, and that this is also true of everyone else. In short, free will is an illusion. There is no magic.
I don't have a defining moment that made me want to help people, but I do have an amazing father who has always inspired me to help those in need, think critically and be a better person.
Nice.
Thanks, I couldn't be more proud of the old man.