But if you ever disappear from here... you will be missed, you found your cool group.

Yep, you guys are all pretty cool!

I never met a group that didn't have something cool about it. I am a loner but I am a hunter too... even if the heart is a lonely hunter, I learned to hunt in packs too. Sometime a group makes it easier to survive and to cope with issues during your youth specially. You can do More when someone got your back. There is a reason while fighter planes go out in pairs... and in the Navy you can't go out on liberty on a foreign nation without a buddy. Buddy system is good practice. Of course if god has your six... well that is another matter to discuss another day. Nothing bad on being a loner but... social is where is at.

Cool it is.

So true. I brought the question because those were to many, the hated ones. They were the snobs. But because I know that not acknowledging them will not make them disappear or be less from what they were. We are suppose to grow and find our niche of equals that will protect us from what is of a different nature. In high school I moved in multiple circles, music, sports, dressing up, dealer, anti establishment political, dancing. I was the only guy that could talk jazz, salsa, rock, that new hippies and cocolos santeros. I was a busy bee. But I have friends everywhere except on those pro military that couldn't wait to be drafted to go to Vietnam. You can make your own cool... once you get out of high school is on you to create your world. You got your idea of cool now and you are making it work now and that is the way is suppose to be. Thanks for input.

@GipsyOfNewSpain It is interesting how we perceive others isn’t it? As a teen, I might have been looking at one of the cool kids and thinking ‘snob’, whereas that person might have been as insecure on the inside as I was at that time….all a matter of perception. Like you, my youngest son was comfortable moving in many social circles. He played sports as a kid, but was a musician too… so he got along with most people (It probably helped that his school district has a small enrollment too).

@LizBeth Yeah and when I was all that "IT". It wasn't that big of a deal... I wasn't that big of a deal I was as insecure as I am right now when I talk shit. And your son will have a well adapted life because he already knows how to move around and accept all kinds of different people and interact with them at their level. Thanks for the story.

You either are because others say you are or you are not and there are many ways for you to be cool or be acknowledge as cool. Back in the day in school... those were the celebrities of the school. Everybody knew who they were and why they were. Those are the ones that are remembered beyond your small circle of friends... They transcend beyond the average and normal. To some they were the hated one because they excluded you or ignored you. That was the tribe... within the tribe. Exactly why I posted the question because I know not everybody here was and sometimes by the lack of personal experiences to share I could see them in the outside looking in. It is part of growing up in a material society full of castes and levels. Not judging but bringing up part of some of us lives. How often do I hear a young person wishing his/her was cool. I have 3 children now grown... I always wondered if my children will be the cool ones or not, their mother was... I was... So why wouldn't they? I noticed their ability to not be afraid of facing scrutiny or judgement, the thick skin. The way to find a niche where they belong and protect themselves from being the loner outcast. I visited with my ex GF junior high schoolers that she teach partnered dancing... I study them like little aliens so far away from me now but I look for me in them... they can be spotted... their walk, dress, the behavior, their sidekick. I found it as interesting now as I did 50 years ago. Some things never change. But the coolest thing is that you did not needed the cool to be Duke today and that's cool.

@GipsyOfNewSpain I actually had a very interesting experience when I was a child. I grew up in southern Illinois and was always the smallest kid in my class. I was picked on, beat up and ridiculed for most of my childhood. That's probably what caused me to retreat into music the way I did. When I was ten years old, I read that a child's role in life is determined by the age of ten. (I'm not positive what book I got that from but, I think it was "The Peter Principle".) That really hit me hard when I thought that my life would continue like it had up to that point.

Then, when I was 13, my parents moved us to Arizona. I was determined to not be that kid there. I reinvented myself. I grew my hair longer. I started conversations with everyone I met in school... anyone. Didn't matter who they were. I opened up and spoke to them. I graduated in the largest high school west of the Mississippi. There were more than 1100 students in my graduating class. I knew almost every one of them on some level. The jocks, the stoners, the band kids, the ROTC group... I was pretty well liked by all. It changed my existence. I started singing in a band on weekends. I never looked back on who I was when I lived in southern Illinois... until now.

My 40 year class reunion is coming up in September of this year. It's the reunion of the class I attended in southern Illinois. Even though I didn't graduate there, I've been asked to play at the reunion. I'm absolutely going to do it. It's going to be a way to burn that part of my past completely. Those people that tried to crush my spirit as a child will know that they failed. I'll leave no doubt in their minds. They'll know who I am now. Kids today who are treated like I was then pick up guns and take them to school. Fortunately, I picked up a guitar.

@Duke And I love your story because you hitted the right mark... "Reinvented yourself". You adapted and everybody loves a musician. I never been good looking, at 11 I had to be convinced by my 2 older sisters that I was going to start growing and that long neck of mine will turn into sexy because of my curls. That my skinny body was going to grow to be tall. And will look cool in tight bell bottom jeans. I arrive to H.S. and the ugliest guy will have a pretty GF... how in the hell? you can dance? you can dress up? You will be noticed and appreciated as someone that is worrying about himself and not wasting time watching cartoons. So I owe a lot to my sisters. And that is what I am trying to get the guys and gals here to realize... there is never too late to reinvent yourself into a better image. All is the motivation. The end result is always worth it. Thanks dude because you said no more and made it work for you. Thank You.

@AMGT Little Duke

@Duke I always said... if you survived childhood with everything that comes to you... you can survive the rest of your life.

@AMGT kids are tough and learning to be tough and stretching boundaries... that is why groups are so important... Maybe the most unique group I encounter in H.S. was a group of "dork, square looking" high schoolers that their thing was being horse racing enthusiast so they will share tips and commenting about the races... and listening to the races when they could on transistor radio. And every time there was always a bet. Races were run Wednesday, Friday, Sunday... afternoon. Night races came later. But we all envied that they have money to talk about. They were more grown ups than us and dressed like grown ups and they always paid on their dates. You just never know everything that happens in a group unless you are part.