I've heard this expression many times... "I'm not shallow" or "I don't want to seem shallow, but..." when it comes to physical preferences.
Do you think it's shallow to consider looks when it comes to dating? How much do they matter?
Have you ever bitten in a visually appealing apple, only to fond it was rotten to the core. Or that the banana with the spots and the dark ring at the stem is sweeter than the perfectly yellow one. Visual appeal is nice, but not necessarily satisfying in the end. " A real man does not insist upon beauty or physical Perfection from his partner. He knows that she is beautiful he just hasn't discovered it yet" Robert a Heinlein
When you're looking for a partner you can't see their personality. someone has to be attractive physically for me. it's much more shallow to go with someone because they're rich or famous. we have eyes for a reason.
it doesn't really matter which shape, colour or size someone is. the main thing that attracts or repels me in people is the way they wear their face, their body, their voice. i've met visually beautiful persons, in an aesthetic sense, who emitted a simply nasty energy. i've encountered people with ruined faces or tragic body shape who were a delight to be around. these days i don't give much of a flying flea fart about a person's outer appearance. ... but then, i used to look better too
Without that spark of chemistry to start the ball rolling it is unusual to consider anyone a potential mate unless the attraction is something more utilitarian like power, connections or money, none a very solid foundation for a love relationship.
If I was about 20 years younger and 40 lbs thinner I'd say no but instead I'll say yes because. . . because . . . I don't want to die alone lol!
I have posted this before and think it shows women can be as shallow as men.
You could look like a gorilla and be attractive to many women.
[cnn.com]
@NFAguy53 I have heard some women like guys that are exciting. Later they regret their choice.
While in Germany my upstairs neighbor was a big, good looking, outgoing American guy who liked to party and have lots of one-night stands. He would get women because his reputation made him "safe" for some women even those that were married. Once in a while, after one night, the woman would fall in love with him, end up moving in with him and, of course, try to change him. I saw many of these women. He is in his miid-70's, still living in Heidelberg and never married. He has gotten fat and has a big health problem. But hee's okay with that. He probably has a string of kids as well.
@NFAguy53 My attitude is there are all kinds of people. One cannot generalize about any one tribe. Personally, I wouldn't want to be around such women and maybe the good guy thing is good.
@NFAguy53 Much better than being with the wrong person.
Very shallow, but who cares, I enjoy beautiful people too. Te depth comes after the first date, I mean learning to know each other comes after the first date. Actually it's also quite natural and directed by hormones. Look at all the body builders and all the beautiful women that flutter around them. Empty head attracts empty head (I hope I don't offend someone. Know that if you don't have an empty head and are still a body builder, you don't belong to the target group). Look at how all girls and boys try to look at their best when they go out. Yes, it's shallow, but "normal".
Actually it has all to do with the animal within us. Looking for the best and most healthy mate to breed. The human mind has made us also value other things. Probably the best development, although the human race weakens by that. But I believe nobody cares.
Appearance has an effect, but if that's the defining issue then some serious introspection may be in order.
It really depends on what aspect of the "looks" we are talking about. It's quite deep to want someone who looks healthy. Same goes for someone who turns you on. As for definitively wanting someone who is, say, blonde or 5'10"+, I would call some such specifics a bit shallow.
Not at all. Physical attraction is important in picking a mate.
I can’t speak for you, but it took me years to realize I missed out on opportunities that could have been the love of my life, just because I went for looks over anything else. Whether it’s shallow or not, who’s to say. But if given a second chance I would have looked at other qualities about the opportunities I passed up before it was too late rather than looks alone.
There was a comic who said of the couple's in his audience, " Realize that in every one of these pairings...this is whom each of you settled for."
Well, the looks of their motorcycle is much more important to me!
Actually, I chose looks over vibes once in my life, when I was 15 years old. I was stupid. He was a conceited bozo.
A person does not need to be "beautiful " but they should use common sense using makup and be clean. Personality is a different matter as is proper dress. All of these things are valid when dating. No one wants a slob or some one with bad breath plus BO! I have met and dated some ladies that were not considered the cream of the crop however they were far superior and I was proud to be permitted to date them. I even took one to the prom.They were better persons than the cheer leader and the beauty queen. Looks are not everything, common sense and knowledge outway beauty. I am very lucky as I married a very beautiful lady who remains so and with two masters degrees in chemistry and computers is very intelligent. Now going on 57years of marriage. It is very nice not to be lonely at this age.
silvereyes to me it is just a pain .my wife does not use it and she is beautiful as she was 58 years ago
There is not a right or wrong answer.
It all depends on the qualities that you are looking for. It depends if looks are the priority for YOU.
For me, someone with the biggest heart would be the priority.