Agnostic.com

45 17

Do you like being spontaneous or planning ahead?

My ex-husband called himself "Mr. Spontaneous." He complained I wasn't spontaneous enough because I like to plan and be prepared.

Yesterday a friend invited me to visit her property in Cle Elum, WA, 75 miles away. She is moving there with her boyfriend. They plan to convert the barn to living space.

"You didn't mention that we are spending the night," I said as we headed up Blewett Pass. "Do you want to go back home?" Kami asked.

Hmm... no luggage, toiletries or change of clothes.

"No," I replied. "I'll manage."

I brought hiking boots, a down sweater, down vest, raincoat, a warm hat and gloves. And a book to read. (I looked up the weather report before leaving.)

With no toothpaste in the RV, we brushed our teeth with Listerine mouthwash. Temperatures dropped to 17 degrees last night. Thank goodness the RV had heat! I wore all the warm clothes I brought.

This morning, as the sun melted frost, I ran around gathering branches of rose hips and snow berries to help Kami decorate the entrance to the barn.

She had bought pumpkins and gourds at a fruit stand along the way. Also brought metal decorations.

I felt proud of myself for being spontaneous. We had a marvelous time!

LiterateHiker 9 Oct 15
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

45 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

Mixture of both. My ex took most if not all the spontaneity out of me really but given the opportunity I'll happily just do some thing for the hell of it but there are some things I like to plan. There is a distinct different between being spontaneous and going with the flow than having a fucking disaster on your hands and hanging on for grim death.

@ipdg77

Hilarious conclusion!

Because I am directionally-impaired, I LOVE hiking with Karen. Karen has a compass embedded in her brain. Knowing I easily get lost, I stick to the trail. Karen take me to beautiful places I would never go.

"Let's go up to that ridge," Karen suggests. I usually agree because she always gets us back to the car.

However, I say no if it's icy, insanely steep and dangerous, and we have no ice axe, rope or crampons. I know my limits and assess the risk. This keeps me safe while hiking.

The test of my day pack is:

"Can I spend the night in the mountains if I get injured or lost?"

My pack is heavy because I carry extra food, water and clothing, and a well-stocked, first aid kit. I have saved many ill-prepared hikers with a medical emergency.

"Let them learn from experience," I have been thinking lately, if they are just going to be uncomfortable. They can always turn back.

How a group of climbers was rescued on Mt. Stuart, October 10, 2018

[nwhikers.net]

Climbers die and are rescued on Mt. Stuart all the time.

@LiterateHiker I think your mate is very well prepared but exudes what appears to be spontaneity because it's based round her knowledge and experience. You may well have a back pack the size of Mt Rushmore to cover all eventualities but that's based around your wanting to feel safe not based around you being a donut lol You're sensible and your safe, that's a credit to you

I'd cheerfully go hiking with you and I bet we wouldn't get lost if you were on point 🙂

@OwlInASack

Thank you for your funny story.

Once, I forgot to pack spoons and forks for a week-long backpacking trip. We had lots of fun eating with our Swiss army knives and stirring with a stick. Never forgot that again!

4

Both, though spontaneous should not be an excuse for poor planning.

3

"You're not spontaneous enough," Terry complained when I objected to his surprising me with a group of his tennis or artist buddies, expecting me to hop-to and feed them all dinner.

Suddenly I was scraping black gunk off the grill that Terry left behind. ("Why am I always wearing white when cleaning the grill?" I wondered.). Washing forks and knives that were dirty in the dishwasher. Running to the grocery store.

After this happened twice, I decided to spontaneously leave.

"Hi guys!" I said cheerfully when they showed up. "I was just leaving. Have fun, boys!

Off I went to a movie or the library.

"Let Terry deal with it," I thought, amused.

Good on you!

@kmdskit3

Thank you.

3

Some of my actions might seem spontaneous, but in reality, they were probably at least planned in my head.

2

Some folks have to plan their spontaneity…

2

My preference is to pack a small bag when I go out so that I can be spontaneous.

2

Every time I make thought out plans they blow up spectacularly. I’ve since become the spokesperson for spontaneity. More than twice I’ve purchased a plane ticket packed it all into two bags and been gone for a year or more.

2

Nothing wrong with either I guess. I like to be some of both in every situation. You can plan and then be spontaneous after. There are some spontaneous people that expect others to follow suit or else they get mad though. They expect everyone to do what they want at the drop of a hat.

2

Both... it depends on the situation. I was always about making it up as l went along and still do in some situations. Other times l like some kind of plan even if it is a little loose.

2

I am Mr. plan ahead. I am an introvert and get frazzled when things happen too fast and I forget to be prepared. For me nothing spoils an event as much as not being ready and knowing if it is something I even want to attend.

2

I prefer planning. I hate surprises, unless they're gifts or if my sons were away so long and came home to surprise me.

2

There is much to be said about the romanticism of spontaneity, but too much of that can be disastrous in a relationship. I prefer to be spontaneous within the general outline, or plan, for activity.

Hordo Level 6 Oct 15, 2018
2

It changes with age and phase of life. When I was younger I was all about spontaneity. Now a divorced mom of teen boys in a million activities, planning is required for everything. I hope to get some of that spontaneous me back when they head to college

2

I look back on our history.
Me: Army Aviator, Computer Programmer, Project Manager, IT Director.
Her: CPA, MBA,
Guess what! We're VERY into "planning ahead".
😉

2

I like to plan ahead,making list of things needed,human memory being what it is,items will be forgotten,sure, maybe you have enough money to buy another of the same,but not all stores carry what you need.

We love our checklists.

2

I'm a mixture of both.

2

If you enjoyed it all is OK. As for me, I'll be spontaneous when I buy a lotto ticket but for all else I prefer planning. It just works out better that way.

2

I'm a planner. Don't do spontaneous often.

1

Being spontaneous can be great but a little planning does come in handy.

1

I try to plan ahead, but am always open to unexpected fortuitous opportunities.

1

Cool! Sounds like a good time.

1

Both have a time and a place

1

I am a planer. Not just now that older , but when I was younger too . Safety is important to me , and I will always plan ahead to ensure at least that in any adventure . Also I know my limits I think . No reason to be moody bcz my espresso not available , oh I ll bring it w me ?

1

Both.

I'm the ultimate researcher and planner. I love that part.

However, I'm very likely to change my mind and cancel plans spur of the moment based on my mood. I tend to plan major events, but am very spontaneous in daily life.

1

I’m a planning freak. Plan vacations 5-12 months ahead. Start packing a month ahead. All excursions booked and tickets purchased. But I leave room for unplanned and spontaneous activities as well. Food is always planned ahead because I can’t just eat anything anywhere.

For events coming up, I plan my clothing ahead from dress to shoes to accessories. What time to leave. Which vehicle to take or what public transportation (schedule studied closely).

I don’t like spontaneous things. Don’t like surprises. With my anxiety and OCD, spontaneous is a no no.

I get that! Some people just have to plan to be safe, comfortable and happy!

@thinktwice I don’t like wasting time deciding or figuring things out last minute. I often travel alone and need to plan what works best for a lone female traveler.

@graceylou I also travel alone a lot...but I carry my passport in my purse and have been known to just buy a ticket and fly to places without luggage...I went to London for a weekend with nothing...not even my cell phone... 😉

@thinktwice Eeek. I can never do that. I have a household with 56 pets and a needy human. Plus now I run a practically 24/7/365 business on my property. Just hopping on a plane and go somewhere would never happen for me. Not having a cell phone would kill me because I would need to know what’s happening at home (though I know you can get pay as you go phones abroad). I also don’t go too far now for vacations or conventions. If there’s an emergency at home I need to be able to get back home in a few hours.

@graceylou Of course! Spontaneity is somehow valued when each of us have different circumstances that would limit how much we could be "spontaneous"...I don't like that people are judged as less fun or whatever because they are not spontaneous...that is ridiculous...I have way different life circumstances and have set myself up so I can feel comfortable planning spontaneity! ha ha

@thinktwice Sometimes I wish I could be. But it's not something I need to have or to be. It's fine that other people are the way they are. I think my anxiety would be through the roof if I decide to be more spontaneous.

@graceylou People need to do what works for them and stop thinking of what others do and say...we all make it work and that is what counts...I could never take care of so many animals like you do...I would fall in love with them all and not be able to adopt them out...so yeah, just be your own awesome self!

@thinktwice Hahaha. These are MY pets and they are not up for adoption. From my tiniest baby tarantula to my 1000 lb horses. When I go on vacation I write up a thick manual for care for the petsitter.

@graceylou I would volunteer! oh my...you are my hero!

@thinktwice As soon as I leave my house to go away for a few days I miss my animals. I guess I kinda miss my human too a little bit.

@graceylou I miss my boys, too...animal and human! ha ha ha

1

Most of time I plan because I put myself in situations that I have no backup (and I am really anxious). And sometimes I allow myself to be spontaneous inside borders. That means that I have some backup if the plan A do not work.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:201468
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.