Yes me too , at school I used to look at other children and wonder at their innocence and try to imagine how I could be anything other than an Outsider. Although I knew it was impossible - I rattled people just by being and never quite understood why - I still am an outsider but have met a kindred spirit so we can get a handle on it together - I don't mix much and I find it excruciating to have to indulge anyone in 'small talk'

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder in 2003. Since then I've had ups and downs, but pretty consistently throughout I've had to deal with religious delusions and anomalous perceptions. This keeps me kind of isolated, and I struggle with the experience of being a pariah or scapegoat among a mob of christians. I do have my family and therapist to rely on though(they're agnostic). But the delusions consume a huge amount of time and energy. I just try to have fun when I can, and forget everything else.

Requires considering yourself accepted by that society and then rejected afterwards does it not? I was rejected by society at 10, and by fifteen had given up the notion of ever being accepted by it. By twenty I did not want to be accepted by the society, for I saw far too much wrong with it.
That was 37 years ago. I learned to blend as the need arises, but I do not even like to do that.

"Above all else to thine own self be true"

Be Impeccable with Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret

I took the quote of Klingon benediction to heart: "May you outlive your enemies". I raged until I realized that the problem was with them. Society needs outcasts. We do not need them. We defined, for them, what "not" to be...because they couldn't figure out for themselves what "to" be. Geek. Loner. Man-whore. Slut. So what?

I have never fitted in, I am no longer despised, I have a good act to make like I somewhat fit it, part of my problem is I do not like them either and I think people sense it. Since I was about 14, I have pretended to myself that I am the only one, that I am different. So mostly I go about my life as if I am the only person, I don't expect to make friends and it worries me less. I have co-workers and get on ok at work, again, pretense on all sides I think. But I don't (anymore) concern myself that everybody else has friends and I don't. Life is still amazing, and perhaps even more enjoyable this way. I am a nature freak, so alone in nature is good.

I feel the same way to a point. Due to a couple of friends moving away, and me myself moving away, when you meet new people I find it hard to make a bond that you might call genuine friendship. There are people in my life that I enjoy the company of, but at that age now where they all have wives etc. My advice is get yourself a hobby. Mine is table tennis. A couple of nights a week I amongst people I enjoy the company of and I do something I enjoy. Try taking something up, and if you don't enjoy it, give something else a go until you find something that you do enjoy.

Daring to be YOU has its price. I know. You would enjoy reading DYING TO BE ME by Anita Moorjani. I strongly recommend you reading this book if you haven't already. Being YOU and celebrating YOU is the only way to live. I admire your courage and am proud to be on the same site with you.

It depends on where I am and what group is in the majority.

We can't always be surrounded by people we are the most comfortable with, I suppose we have all been in a situation where we felt we didn't belong, or heartless people have made us feel that way.

Assholes seem to feed off of each other like sharks in a feeding frenzy.
Remember, when someone tries to make you feel bad about yourself you're not the problem, they are.

Yes for sure but now I know I'm the exception and they have the problem so I embrace it.

What in the world did I possibly do for you to treat me this way?
I know it’s not my looks or smell; it is what I do or say?
Is it my best friend, who’s a little more poor, and more than a little “weird”?
Neither of us is bothering you—do we deserve to be shunned and jeered?

None of you has ever talked to me; none of you knows who I am
How could you know I have earned your scorn? I just don’t understand…
But I’m starting to see you’re not worthy of me—I don’t care to join your throng
I don’t care about “fitting in:” being cruel is always wrong

I’ll just keep to myself and all others avoid; I’ll try to be quiet and small
If I don’t bother anyone else, I won’t be noticed at all!
But what’s this? I exist! I’m a target so bright, I tantalize bullies and jerks
What the hell is wrong with you kids? Why do you prize slights and hurts?

Some of you are demons, some automata
I don’t accept your reasons, defining crime and flaw
But you clearly want to punish me, and that makes me awfully sad
Still, I have no desire to play your game—and for this, I’m truly glad

I’ll bide my time ’til college, when my peers will be mature
and surely past all painful tribal rites I must endure...
Alas! We’re all now “grown-ups”, but not a bloody thing has changed!
Everyone else is cold and aloof; I am still alone and estranged!

I guess this is just what life is; this is just the human race:
toadying and gloating; “pecking order” and “saving face”
or branding as a “misfit” if one fails to stay in line
What a disappointment—what a horrible design!

I’ll just do my own thing (all I’ve ever cared to do!)
I won’t worry myself a moment over consternation from you...
But—why do you stare with open mouth? Why do you turn your head?
Why do you look so shocked and alarmed, as if you might drop dead?

I know you’ve seen skateboarders before; I’m not the only one in this town
Sure, there’s maybe not very many—but you can often see some around
What’s so damned arresting about riding a board with wheels?
Everyone’s seen bicycles; you likely know how riding those feels

Why do you look so angry? Why such contempt in your glare?
Am I unworthy of city cement, sunshine, and warm summer air?
Am I insulting you, somehow? Does the sight of me aggrieve?
Your reaction makes no sense to me; I can’t fathom what you believe

It appears you think I’m dirty, threatening, or crude
some kind of personal circus act—or peepshow, crass and lewd
I find it all disturbing, surreal, and frankly strange
that you care at all about me, let alone show such a range

Of responses to my actions that have naught to do with you:
you don’t even know me—why give a fig what I do?
When it comes to other people, I surely sorely lack
a grasp of what they understand, accept, ignore, or attack

I’m sad I have no freedom to be myself in view
of the “normal”, petty people, who have nothing better to do
than condemnation as a pastime—but deprived I’m certainly not
for, now—as, surely, ever—myself is all want

I’ve never craved for contact; I’ve never pined for friends
I’m satisfied completely with on what my mind attends
I’d like to be invisible, so as to social pain avoid—
we all have peccadilloes; we are all somehow annoyed

For now, I’ll stay quite hidden, often as possible, in my house
and if I have to leave it, I’ll stay quiet as a mouse
I’m not angry, or resentful—I accept how the world works:
people are mostly shallow, petty, prideful, tribal jerks

There is sadly nothing for it; it is simply what it is
I have seen the ways in which you move; I choose not to fit in
I am happy to be harmless, I’m content with being kind
and I’m grateful fate has kept contempt and hatred from my mind!

So, in other words, yeah--every day of my life.

I was a huge nerd/outcast in school, but the best revenge is doing well.

I’ve felt that way numerous times … though now taking increasing pride..

You belong here (damn it)! You’ve inspired me, confirmed my ‘replacements’ are ready! It’s weird, but I can nearly hear the ..pat empathetic responses … you’ve likely heard them too.. Working in special ed, I was ‘trained’ to deliver them. But why did the highest functioning appreciate me, cuz I cut through the shit - and they recognized that. No comparison, as they’d die attempting to reach your abilities, but no shit, either.

Find what drives you. Hell (for lack of a better term), having lost a marriage and my family’s century farm in the process … I considered going to work for American Atheists -- I’d scrub the fuckin floors with a toothbrush if that’s all they had ..I’d even scouted the neighborhood from Google. Alone, feeling broken, lost ..I’d no doubt have eventually met those who’d value me.

You only lack authority, and the confidence it brings. I can imagine the effort it must take to be you.. You’ve mentioned this before… Focus on what drives you, then head that direction. Don’t lose too far a track of society (use us) ..as it may someday welcome you, but exhibit the value you have around here, and the depth of knowledge you’ve earned to this point - and go on ..for us ~

I was also bullied at high school and hated it. I left a year early.

((((Sarah)))))<<<Virtual hugs.

I'm do sorry for your pain.... we're all beautiful people sarah... regardless of our hardships...

Awww... I hate to see anyone feel that way. But, I confess, I've had times also when it was like that for me. Just for different reasons. You've endured up to this point. Continue to do so. It does get better.

I’m only an outcast to those that I don’t want to hang with, anyway. It’s so subjective.