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Pick-up lines are so yesterday. I want to hear your best break-up lines.
I’ll start:

“Damn boy, are you my university? Because I’ve spent so much time and money on you, and frankly, I’m really disappointed with my experience so far.”

IndySent 7 Feb 1
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32 comments

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29

"I've got plenty of batteries--I'll be fine."

And first prize goes too... @stinkeye_a!

That is classic.

LOL! Great one! I'll try to remember that one to share with my friends 🙂

LOL, love that, and have you been snooping in my nightstand?

25

You and I are absolutely perfect for other people.

Very good!

14

Here's one from Chicago: "I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive, and I saw him dead."

13

"So long and thanks for all the fish"

Love that line, and was tempted to use last time, but I may not have survived. Now, off to explore the galaxy.

Dancing Dolphins.....

10

She said " if you quit hanging out with your friends and start going to my church, we can talk "
I said " pack your bags "

Ooooh, an ultimatum. Good call.

10

I prayed on it, and my gods don't like you.

10

I just don't think there is enough room in your life for both me and the sweet baby Jesus.

8

Am I your university!?!?! Bee---aach are you my community college???? Because you were that easy to get into to begin with anyway...

8

[Boyfriend]: I have to tell you that there is this one ex girlfriend of mine that sounds just like an owl.

[Girlfriend] Who?

@MrLink wicked.

6

Baby when I look into your eyes it is like I am gazing into the world that I want nothing to do with anymore...

6

My best break-up line. "Hey. It's great that you slept with a doctor and hockey player two days in a row. I can't wait to bang your twin sister". Yeah. That was a good day.

5

You're like digiorno pizza. Hot and saucy on the package but tasteless cardboard now that I know you.

4

I don't have any, I usually make a few comments over time that I don't think things will keep going, I don't do anything to keep the relationship strong, usually she will be looking elsewhere but not breaking up till she has found a possibility. I have found out he hard way, it is better to let the other person find someone new first, a little painful for me maybe, but better than all the aggro and attacks on any new lady. Yes, I date crazies.

3

I find that "One more step or I'll shoot!" works for me.

3

Breaking up was so hard for me. I never want to hurt anyone, so I'd try to make them think it was their idea. I made a woman cry once, and I was a wreck for a month.

2
2

So, all I can give here is how it went down the last time: "Well, since you have told me once before (I'm a slow learner) that you are uncomfortable coming into your own home with me here (had been living there about 5 yrs), I will fix that problem for you." And I moved out, lock, stock, and barrel 2 weeks later.

1

I clearly have to up my game. Some of these are awesome.

1

Damn, that's a cold one. Love it!

1

I have always wanted to use this song to breakup with someone, start it and say "this is how I feel about you" looking sweet and doey eyed 😀

1

After I husband divorce papers he told me " just because a person asks for a divorce doesn't mean they really want one". Too late dude, I'm done, peace out!

1

It's not working for me.

No explanations, no justifications, just the facts Jack.

0

Your lack of integrity implores me to deliniate the dichotomy between ourselves:
I'm forever honest, to your lies...
Our morals are divergent...
...so, goodbye...
Good luck...
Goodbye.

0

I feel so boring: "I don't think this is going to work out." And then be ready with my long list of reasons why not.

0

Which State's beauty pageant are you? (To ask her where she is from)

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