@Paul4747, it most certainly isn't about all men intending to subjugate all women. No one is saying that at all. Rather, it's much more about the fact that sexual intrusion and aggression have become so normalized as a common (not universal) aspect of American masculinity that women live daily, nay, almost hourly, with the awareness that any given individual man making an overture could turn on a dime into Mr. Hyde if the overture does not meet with her approval. That doesn't mean that women believe that we all can't accept their disinterest gracefully. It simply means that women (a) can't universally tell which men will be gentlemen and don't even have the choice of avoiding the overtures of creeps and stalkers anyway. The fact that "I have a boyfriend" (even if untrue) is a far more effective way of ending an unwanted conversation than is "No, thanks," is a reflection of the widespread conviction among (too many, not all) single guys that unattached women are prizes to be won by dogged persistence, never mind how uncomfortable, even stressful, that experience may be for the woman. Because "I have a boyfriend" means she's already been claimed by another male, a message that is much more likely to penetrate the skull of a patriarchally-impaired creep than is "No, thanks."

What the majority of men typically don't get - and I didn't fully get until quite recently - is that women deal with this shit nearly every single day: catcalls on the street, creepy innuendos, unprofessional behavior, a grope from the crowd, etc. - and the widespread male sense of entitlement is such that this conduct is too frequently explained away with a "Boys will be boys" wink, as if it were right that women should grin and bear this kind of thing every day. And what most men also typically don't get - and this is the heartbreaking truth I was already learning before #MeToo - is that very large numbers of our mothers, sisters, daughters, and women friends have experienced sexual assaults from molestation to rape, and those traumatic experiences have often arisen in the wake of less egregious intrusions, such that women aren't just aggravated by the latter, they are also implicitly threatened by such behavior short of assault because it is widely condoned by a society which smiles on male entitlement ("Boys will be boys." ) In other words, there's little or no recourse against the transgressions of powerful men nor against random men who skate up to the line but can still get away with shit because they can either hide behind humor, exploit the woman's concern for her own safety, or disappear back into a crowd. Meanwhile, the woman is constantly dealing with the stress of avoiding "setting off" males who might then assault her.

And it is this nearly daily stress (and, for some, outright fear) - whereby women must regularly take precautions so as not to be raped - that lies at the root of the term "rape culture." There is a meme that sums it up: "We live in a society that teaches 'Don't get raped,' instead of 'Don't rape.'" As a whole, we men are not doing a good enough job teaching our sons to respect women. The "Boys will be boys" wink is a chronic problem that results in crimes like those of the Steubenville football players and Brock Turner.

I will conclude with some links that demonstrate just how widespread is this problem of the toleration of misogyny and the normalization of rape:

[wavaw.ca]
[everydayfeminism.com]
[everydayfeminism.com]
[huffingtonpost.com]
[ww2.kqed.org]

I was looking for this link yesterday when replying to you, @Paul4747. Just stumbled across it today. Maybe you'll say it's just one guy, but hopefully you've looked at the other links I posted yesterday and realize that this is an endemic problem. If you don't like the phrase "rape culture," then obviously don't use it yourself (but try not to argue about it bc there are a lot of women out there who are hurting who find that the shoe fits). In any case, I hope that the phrase "toxic masculinity" at least makes sense to you. Not that all American masculinity is toxic, not at all, but that the toxicity of our culture's masculinity is either spiking or finally out in the open. Either way we need to be doing something about it. It's not just "a few bad apples." [facebook.com]

Culture most definitely is the problem. Here's a discussion in Psychology Today about the current confluence of toxic masculinity, authoritarianism, and militarization: [psychologytoday.com]

@vertrauen
And yet, that doesn't mean I'm a participant. The reason I dislike terminology that implies an entire culture is that it stereotypes me as a potential aggressor, when my own history is that I've been the victim of false allegations- those allegations automatically believed because "that's how men are" and women should be immune from questioning.

I don't question anyone involved in any of the allegations under discussion in this thread, I'm only relating my own story. And I was injured (and lost a job) because someone manipulated the trust that "a woman wouldn't lie". So while I'm outraged when I hear proven allegations, I'm still tender about the idea that males are universally "toxic". And that's where I'll depart the thread.

@Paul4747, I'm very sorry that that happened to you. And I'll repeat: the toxicity of American masculinity isn't universal; it is merely too widespread to be ignored. Judicial proceedings and HR adjudication still need to be premised on "innocent until proven guilty." Society as a whole, however, needs to be more attuned to and protective of the needs of the survivors of sexual assault.

True, although fathers have the same responsibility - to crack down on proto-misogynistic behavior in their sons, rather than giving it a wink and a nod.

And, as I've suggested, I'm tired of waiting for the generational shift. I thought we were already getting there and yet - well before #MeToo but in the last 12 months or so - I'm finding that our society is so much more misogynistic than I ever grasped. Too many women and girls are getting hurt while we wait for American male culture to grow up. And then we elect the Pussy-Grabber in Chief for chrissakes!