I probably read too much Jane Austen to appreciate any of this.

No offense intended but the site your link points to should be viewed with great skepticism.

It is certainly your choice to have premarital sex or not. However, it seems you're starting from a place of fear and distrust in males in general.

Where I live, it is not illegal to have sex before marriage. Although, there are some womanizing males, I think most of us are honestly looking for a partner. For me, sex is part of getting to know a woman and I'm careful to let them know my intentions beforehand.

You do deserve love and respect. However, a good man will respect you even if you have sex with him. I belive the article is very dated.

I am a feminist and a humanist. You can ask a man that you like to go on a social occasion or court him and he can be respectful too. Marriage does not need to be the end point for happiness. I am responsible for my happiness, and it does not include marriage at this time. I, myself, would not listen to a site named "Sugar Daddie." It sounds disrespectful of men, perhaps even valuing their money over who they are as a person. On the site it has a link, "How Can A Sugar Daddy Pay My Bills?" Really? Sounds like a way to use men.

Are you from the U.S.A.? It is legal here to have sex with your opposite-sex partner. I am glad you are choosing logic and reason in picking a potential partner. However, emotional connection and sexual interest is highly important too. I like a balance in both logical thinking and emotional intelligence in people.

I see nothing wrong with a good deal of nonsexual courting going on before takin it there. If it seems like its worth pursuing as a long term relationship then whats the rush? I'm sort of old fashioned for my age like that in practice, besides being a radically honest sexual deviant by all but the most extreme standards otherwise probably, Im still a shy careful gentleman lol. I do kinda like to take it slow at first, but still would prefer to let things organically happen without too much fuss and reservation if the time seems right.

I see why it's a good idea for sex not to be the immediate primary focus of the relationship, but I also mistrust the puritanical seeming motives behind anyone who puts this much thought into making an arbitrary principled stance of waiting til marriage. That seems just as unhealthy as fucking everyone you meet first thing. Its wise not to rush in general but no ones awarding special medals at the end of life for playing by antiquated rules. Some people have a problem of having their guard constantly up and the other constantly down. How about a little moderation and carefully managed risk taking? Seems like the way to go.

Also on the site. Seriously?

I think that if you find a man who believes like you whether that is dating or courtship then you can at least start out with a common ground and that's good. There are some problems with your plan though. Please hear me out.

Both courtship and dating are human constructs. Both are fallible. Dating where sexual encounters are allowed might lead to dating is all about sex and not compatibility. It happens. No one can seriously doubt that. But you can set dating rules for yourself and most women do. You can say that there is a progression to sex and no skipping the steps. That might sound like courtship. OK so? You aren't taking sex completely off the table and you get to know someone properly. Call it whatever you want. Courtship where you are taking a sexual relationship out of the equation and more importantly is structured by someone without a true necessary desire for the process to work is a more socially conceived construct to limit access to higher social castes. Not saying that is wrong but that's the purpose. Courtship requires more financial and time resources. It will limit choices beyond just who might be compatible with you personality wise but also financially.

Time is also valuable. That's my next point. If you are spending all this time and resources on courtship, you are losing that time where you might be happy. We are only here for a little while. Live your life and allow yourself to be happy not following some notions that were not intended to be there for the happiness of the couple but the order of the society.

Last, social constructs like religion and courtship don't always stand up to the test of time. Even if you adjust them to modern times, the purpose has changed. They can be negative where they had a good purpose at first.

Good luck!

There is dating, marriage, and divorcing, The divorcing part is where you each get a lawyer and go courting.

" Courtship is to be accomplished without the complexity of being intimate sexually."
I think Jeffrey (the author of the article) knows very little about relationships and what makes them successful.. (IMO)
being intimate only makes things complex if YOU make it complex..
I am NOT saying taking "sex" off the table for a little bit in a new relationship is a bad idea (in fact studies have shown that for a long term relationship you SHOULD withhold sex at some point to learn if you actually like each other)

IMO the only real difference between courting and dating is that with courting you both have already got to the point where marriage is a possible option..
if your not including sexual compatibility in that exploration, I think your in for trouble..

Guys, well, some of us, would like to be courted, too. That let's both parties really know each other.

I'm not one for courting. I had a bad experience with it the one and only time I partook. Dating is more my style. If you are getting to know someone for a relationship then you should get to know everything. It all matters. It also doesn't matter that looks and sex don't really last into old age. All the more reason to have as much sex (with that 1 person, or more, depending on what you want or is agreed upon) before you get old. It doesn't mean you can't fully get to know someone if you both have sex. Anyone can get played at any time. Why deprive yourselves?

I don't know. I don't think I have standards. I think everything depends on the other person and how the two interact and respond to each other.

What do you think?