Is Marriage Outdated?
The only argument in favor of Marriage as a secular institution that I can find is that it provides a stable environment for breeding. Do you think this future proofs this practice, or should we look for other rational alternatives?
1
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.People are afraid of marriage due to the extremely high rate of divorce.
tiredofthis1
Level 7
Oct 24, 2018
2
Medical visitation and decision rights. If we can somehow find a way to easily secure those without having to be a relative or a spouse, then marriage can quietly fade into obscurity in my opinion.
memorylikeasieve
Level 7
Oct 23, 2018
4
In this modern computer age, it would not be too difficult to set up a registry of "nearest & dearest" first contacts, similar to the voters register, renewable over specific periods to keep it up to date. Implementation of such a system should solve such problems.
marriage has historically been a financial arrangement, not so much between individuals as between households and even dynasties. in the past couple centuries people have changed their thinking about it to include the concept of love between the individuals involved, which wasn't COMPLETELY new (or shakespeare wouldn't resonate) but as an overall view of the institution it is certainly new. at the same time, the church (you know which church) had taken it over as, somehow, their own business, and it retains that stranglehold to a huge extent.
the tax system (assuming we actually have something we can legitimately call a system) discriminates in some ways against the single and in other ways against the partnered. this needs to change. don't look at me; i faint when i see numbers. i can recognize a problem when i see one, though.
all my life i equated marriage with prostitution because of the traditional woman's role in the arrangement. it was basically an agreement that in exchange for being supported financially, the woman would give services that included, without by any means being limited to, sex. however, the idea of a life partner was an appealing one. love! who can argue with love? who can argue with wanting to be with your lover forever, with or without the piece of paper? now i am old, and i was getting old by the time i found my love, too. i still view traditional marriage as i did when i was young, but i don't think that we can necessarily judge people by how traditional their marriages LOOK. we're not walking in their bedroom slippers. i know it sure wouldn't be right for me. i am my own person and i don't want to be mr's, which is what missus means. i want him to be mine as much as i am his, and we should still be our own people, with conjoined and combined interests both economic and otherwise. we also want to have legal standing in each other's affairs, and yes we've made out wills and directives, but sometimes medical staff don't refer to those right away. i have been turned away trying to find out how is was when he had to be hospitalized. that's changing slowly too. there is more but you get the picture.
we're not married yet. we're poor and disabled, and we'd lose some crucial benefits if we married. did i mention a tax overhaul? not just taxes (and not trump's way, thank you).
so as an institution, is marriage outdated? which institution do you mean, among those i mentioned or others you can think of, all called (and honored in some way) as marriage? yes, no, maybe!
g
genessa
Level 8
Oct 23, 2018
2
Thanks for your considered reply. I can't argue with what you wrote. The question is quite polymorphous and multi-dimensional, depending upon one's perspective and circumstance.
I think it's outdated. I was just in a long term relationship where I felt just as committed as I was when I was married.
jos2588
Level 5
Oct 23, 2018
1
Interesting that you speak of both the relationship and the marriage in the past tense. Do you think in our modern society the notion of a life-long partnership is becoming less and less of a pragmatic possibility?
It may be outdated but I hope not.One reason is because people do not like to commit to marriage due to the extremely high cost of divorce ,but when you do not have a marriage people give up on relationships to easily .Look what we have, a deteriorating society, no family unit ,one parent homes ,children with absentee fathers or mothers no role models .
richiegtt
Level 8
Oct 23, 2018
1
Is it not just the case that as individuals we have been conditioned to expect instant gratification and as a result have become less patient?
In families with intact marriages things are a lot more stable and happy than in families with divorces. I’ve only been married onced myself for 43 years and it’s not all great but it’s still good and as time goes by it’s better.
@ rcandlish .That is a good point
I agree that there needs to be some form of contract, whether it be marriage as we know it or something else, where couples who wish to have children commit in order to provide a stable home environment and family unit.
Marriage is a choice, it is not necessary but for some fills a need for a formal or public declaration of commitment, but can be an almost unlimited choice of forms to fit any taste.
Traditional ideas of marriage partnership rites perhaps are outdated with the inherent sexism and control issued believed necessary for social stability in less enlightened times but is evolving and will continue to evolve to remain contemporary.
LenHazell53
Level 9
Oct 23, 2018
1
Breeding?? Women don’t breed
Green_eyes
Level 8
Oct 23, 2018
1
But couples do!
@rcandlish we can disagree with that disgusting term. I had a wonderful successful marriage for a long time and would never entertain a long term relationship without marriage being a possibly. My child bearing days are behind me.
@Green_eyes I'm sorry, I meant the term to be simply descriptive, not offensive.
Its (in its basic form) is just an announcement of people declaring their love and commitment.. I don't think it will ever go away .. it will change and morph into something different, but we humans will still use it.
hippydog
Level 8
Oct 23, 2018
4
Admittedly, in almost all societies, regardless of their religious perspectives, life-long pair bonding appears to be the accepted norm. There are of course some notable exceptions, e.g. Tahiti at the time of the Bounty Mutiny. Up until the previous century, when secularism took a stronger hold on Western society, all marriages were supervised in a religious context. Even today, most countries offer tax benefits to married couples, that do not extend to civil partnerships. Given all the normative pressure to uphold the marriage convention, we must ask is the drive to mark a relationship as "official", an innate human predisposition or just a form of social engineering to enforce compliance?
Human beings lived for 1000 of years without needing to get hitched. Marriage was virtually always about ownership and joining families together. The love stuff is actually very recent. I think as we mature as a species, we'll need these ceremonies less. Saying that, I am always available for sewing frilly white frocks 
.
Amisja
Level 8
Oct 23, 2018
2
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