That quote by Christopher Hitchens makes a ton of sense. But, then again, he usually does..

Relocating to another part of the country played a big part in giving me the freedom to do a life re-set. I no longer had the constraints of church life that kept me from exploring other avenues of thought. It's not that I was looking to change my belief system; it just happened naturally. That may not have happened without the move to another province.

I still had some church ties in the new location, but a really bad experience with a totally hypocritical music director was the straw that broke the camel's back. I waved "sianara" and never looked back. Then I de-constructed my faith and realized how restrictive and silly monotheism was. The rest is history.

For the first two weeks after I decided it was time for me to leave the Roman Catholic Church, I thought I might be the most corrupt, evil person on the face of the earth. I realized that I had made this decision after YEARS of thought. I had the experience many years before while still in the church on two separate occasions, a nun and a brother spoke to a group of students and said it was acceptable to leave if you truly believed that you no longer had faith. I was fortunate to have the compassionate words of that brother and that nun to help me leave.

I used to go to a couple of conservative churches and they were disillusioning-let alone disappointing; however, on Tuesdays and Thursdays there is a medical/senior day center run by a conservative religion but I only go there for medical services and meals!

I've chatted with several people online who didn't believe anymore and wanted to leave the church, most weren't as worried about hell as they were about being ostracized.

There is no shortage of horror stories about people who have come out with their non-belief only to lose all of their friends, families, and sometimes their homes. Some who are kicked out of their homes are young, still in school, and have no means or skills to support themselves.

Then there are church leaders who have lost their faith but feel they cannot leave the church for fear of the backlash.
If they do, they will immediately lose what source of income the church provided, and possibly their living quarters if they live on a church property.
There is some help at The Clergy Project.
"The Clergy Project provides support, community, and hope for deconverted religious professionals with its Online Community of Forums."
Here is a link if anyone needs it. [clergyproject.org]

ps - thanks for the Hitchens quote! I was just missing him this week and listened to videos while I was working. This was always one of my favorite eulogies for him,

Oh, yeah, @VictoriaNotes, this is understandable. I think it would be similar to other life situations which are suppressed to “pass” in society such as being gay, or passing for another race.

I think I had a different transition because I was already outside of “normal” society in so many ways that I never felt the complete embrace of religious community. I’d stopped attending church in high school and gradually became a holiday Christian, mostly to satisfy family. It took having my daughter – and the church’s horrible treatment of women - to actively stop believing. Mostly because of that “eternity” thing which is a big one to get over for me. By that time, my circle of religious friends was rather small.

It’s only the past couple of years that I’ve become overtly angry at religion, so much so that I refused to attend church this past Christmas Eve with my [recently widowed, “I just don’t want to go alone”] mother. So apparently that religious guilt thing is diminishing as well.

They literally mourn the fact that they did not have the courage to break away.

I feel I am back in school and you’re are the teacher who assigns homework.

I think we all have our own, individual experiences with this and some are more affected than most. Parvin never had religion so she didn’t understand but that lack of understanding helped us both in the end.

“…people who stay report more depressive symptoms than people who leave.” That seems evident as these people may feel they are living a lie and constantly need to justify their choice. Again FFRF probably has a library on such cases. I wonder if this study used any data from their “clergy Project”.

A recent article about the My Lai massacre, Lt. Calley and some of the other soldiers (one who committed suicide) highlights the need to justify one’s actions that are too hard to live with.
For me it was a long trail. Learning and seeing discrepancies in what I had been taught (I don’t think my belief was that strong but had nothing to counter it. I remember once telling someone my life was like a jigsaw puzzle. Pieces coming together and creating a picture. I don’t think I mentioned what was the final piece that drove me away. It was difficult insofar as it meant dropping aid to a Philippino child/family and a program that I had been in for 12 years.

I am curious about one of the other studies: “Men’s moral choices”. OMG(osh) Trolley Problem: I am well aware of that. I am in trouble.

This is quite a problem, because it is entwined with social relations. I met agnostic people that had to start all over again. Not having family anymore, their children not having grandparents anymore either. But it seems to be worth it. Better a rough break than an elastic band that tries to pull them back all the time. Support online and in physical groups is helping them a lot. Especially when they find people that are like minded on other issues also so that they might build new friendships again.

I recall a friend of mine, who was brought up with fundamentalist Christianity, and I were discussing religion many years ago, and he was questioning but still beholden to his upbringing. He said to me that he envied me because I seemed much more at peace than he felt. And I understood what he meant, because I went through a tumultuous time when I was holding onto my past beliefs, because they made up such a big part of my life for so long, it was like part of me dying. But, when I took a more reasoned approach, no longer trying to square the circle of the empirical world and a metaphysical construct for which there's no evidence, I found that I was indeed more at ease. It's like there's an underlying struggle all the while, and when I let go of religion I let go of that struggle.

There many varied reason people think about leaving religion and many varied reasons why people stay. Probably the most common reasons for staying is just for the social aspects of it (after all it is a social club), for fear of rejection by family and/or society, loss of social advantages associated with being part of it, etc. (IMHO)

Depression abates with physical exercise greater than kneeling prEyer. ....Atheism begins with the first step escaping out from cult torture psychologically inflicted

I've often wondered why he would do such a thing. Man made hell sound so terrifying and I know the preachers screaming that crap at us had no fear of it as they slapped you across the head and tell you that your healed. That asshole oral Roberts need to be thrown in prison and somehow kept alive forever. Yes I have an attitude... I think we all have one that escaped the religious persecution.