Forgiveness is a worthless idea to me. I don't holld grudges and can honestly say that I don't care enough about others for their actions to have a lasting affect on my well-being. I can only control myself.

When you forgive someone, it releases you from the power they hold over you. It doesn't mean you think what they did was right. It doesn't mean you approve of an action. It simply means you're moving on from them. So forgiveness is a good and necessary thing.

To move past the mistakes of people. If it wasn't a mistake, it was deliberate, and my forgiveness don't cover intentional harm.
Better to cut your loses with people like that and forget you knew them.

I've often heard that forgiveness is important for the wronged party to unburden themselves and move forward. I think that's misguided. There are a few people whom I don't forgive, but I don't obsess over them and their actions. I continue to hold their behavior against them and exclude them from my life, and they have no reason to think that will change. But that isn't the same as actively hating them or having the weight of a grudge bearing down on me; there's simply no room for them in my life anymore.

Some great posts here. One thing I'd like to add is to contast the difference between forgiving and forgetting. I can forgive after I've taken time to understand what happened, why, and what the implications are for me. That means that I won't feel the need for compensation or justice - it is settled. However, that does not mean that I necessarily forget. If a person has the tendency to repeat a damaging behavior, then I do not forgive endlessly. If I've made this behavior clear to them and they will continue it, then I know that there is some conditioning they are unwilling to address in their psyche. If they choose not to address that and the result is unacceptable, then I remove them from my day to day life. I have forgiven them (i.e. I don't require compensation or seek justice for that event), but I recognize that we have reached an impasse and I need to leave them where they are.

This is fairly common in my life. I've had to do this with a fair amount of people even though I don't do it easily. These are family members, co-workers, students, ex-girlfriends, and friends. It means that there is a boundary and we cannot engage each other beyond a point. Sometimes, it means we only interact at work. Sometimes, we don't interact unless it is necessary for family functions, and sometimes, it means blocking them in every way from having access to me.

So, get justice if you need to (if they stole something you need or attacked you and could be dangerous to others), process the experience and understand it with its pain and abuses, learn from it - how did it happen, the warning signs, anything you did to contribute to it happening. Then, forgive them for your own sanity and joy, and then decide if a new boundary is required. Hold that boundary. If they sense a boundary and want it removed, then let them know why it is there and their behavior is unacceptable. If they ask for forgiveness, remind them that they are currently able to talk to you (or respirate, depending on the earlier offense) and would not be doing that without forgiveness. You just don't want their destructive behavior in your life. They need to step up their behavior for more access. In the end, your life and attention have value - treat it as such and worthwhile people will as well. If they don't treat it with value, then punt them out if your life no matter how deluded you are that you need them. They are abusing you.

No need for god, odd mentions of grace or martyrdom, karma, or any other woo-woo. Do, observe, learn, adapt - simple.

I forgive others by moving on. I don't look back at the same people twice. I don't allow the same person to hurt me twice.

Forgive! (And lose the weight off your shoulders!)

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself. If you can have the ability to do it, it is the most liberating thing. The person who has done some injury to you is really secondary to this, though they may feel the benefit too, but whether they do or not is immaterial. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t understand this concept and hang onto to their anger which can fester and turn into an obsession, and ultimately take over them completely. Religion has absolutely no connection whatsoever with forgiveness, it comes from within ourselves.

I'm not very forgiving really. I look at someone who says they forgive their loved ones murderer and I don't see how they would do that. I'm also not good at projecting into an imaginary scene to explain this because words are things. Let them get their just due.

I'm not forgiving of people who are always selfish. People must be selfish when eating depends on it; I forgive them.

I guess forgiveness is just a point where something that did matter, being wronged by someone for example, doesn't any more. Or perhaps you learn to compartmentalise it so that it does matter but not at the point where you define yourself by the emotion it stirs up. Maybe

To forgive is to cease wasting my energy on whatever it is.
To forget is just dumb.

Necessary to move on sometimes, even if I'm right or have been wronged or else we would all do nothing more than hate each other ever. There are so many people with different paths stepping on each others feet or in each others shit that we can't help but hurt each other sometimes. Sometimes even maliciously. You have to be able to let some stuff go to deal with other things that life has to offer. Also no person is perfect. Letting go of little stuff is good because you have done shitty things to others before to and will in the future.

despite being an atheist i like the jewish concept of forgiveness. it is, in a nutshell, and forgive me if nutshellizing has impacted its accuracy, ask for forgiveness sincerely (with the intention of not repeating the offense) even if you don't expect to receive it. the asking is what counts. forgive what you can and not what you can't, but try hard if you've been asked sincerely. asking forgiveness insincerely isn't worth anything at all. even god (yeah, there's a god in judaism, but ignore that for a moment) cannot forgive an offense or injury against another human being; the offended-against/injured party is the only on who can forgive that. (okay, done with the god part! but the point is you can't forgive on someone else's behalf so that works in real life too!) forgiveness doesn't mean forgetfulness, but not forgetting doesn't mean tormenting someone with guilt, either. if you really forgive, then really forgive. that's pretty much it. it's not like the catholic forgive me father for i have sinner, okay 102 hail marys, okay thanks, oops, i'm back i did it again and deathbed confession stuff. heaven (another fictional concept) has nothing to do with any of it. it's for here and now and life on this earth. you can translate that into a life partnership too. is it easy? hell no! i am working on it, myself. i am trying to learn to forgive for real.

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I am an ex-catholic. So this is my conception of forgiveness.

There are things I forgive, and there are things I don't. Pretty normal I would think. Whatever the fuck normal is.