Agnostic.com

10 4

Self-help books: are they helpful or harmful?

Why or why not?

silvereyes 8 Oct 25
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

10 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

0

They can be helpful, but for everything in all the books you will probably find a 180 degree opinion in another book. So I look at them as good for thought, nothing more.

0

Are DIY books considered self-help? Aren't all books self-help books?

1

How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie, was probably one of the earliest of the genre, and I was instructed by my father to read and absorb it. Well I read it but I can't have absorbed much because I was never interested in influencing people anyway. I don't see them as all that helpful but perhaps they could lull one into a false sense of empowerment.

2

They’re someone else’s opinion. A forum like this one might do as much good. Learning critical thinking skills and doing honest research does more good in my opinion.

gearl Level 8 Oct 30, 2017
2

Well, if they can help me be a better cook, I'd say helpful.

SamL Level 7 Oct 28, 2017
1

They all say the same thing, help yourself. You don't need someone else to tell you that the only one that can change you is you, you just need to stop being lazy and do it.

If you have to use self help books I would say you really don't want to change.

2

I don't know about harmful, but I don't think they're useful. Granted, I've never read one. I would never buy one, for sure, and I most likely would never read one. As for the why of it: Not having read any of them, I couldn't really tell you.

My assumption is 70% of them are just trying to get you to buy shit. Most people, whether asked or not, who give advice really just want some vague form of self-validation; most people who ask for advice just want to hear what they want to hear. And even then, what's good for the goose might not be good for the gander.

Personally, I've always relied heavily on introspection, sometimes to the point in which it makes me indecisive, uncertain, and even arrogant. It's the best I can do.

3

I think you can ‘self-help yourself to death’. So there are times when goal setting or Positive Mental Attitude, etc., work and are appropriate. But if you forget to actually live because of following ‘the method’ or you think that the more you read of these the better you will be, then you are just deluding yourself. There are few quick paths to success, experience and failing often are usually the best teachers.

2

They are helpful in the deance that they can help people identify problems in their life that need to be addressed or changed, but not enough are useful to that extent. The reason why self help books sell is people have problems tht need to be addressed, but even in the problem is identified, it still takes actual effort, a gret deal more effort than is involved in just reading a book, to make life changes. However most people are nto willing to expend any more effort than it takes to read a book, if that much, to make changes in their life. Change is uncomfortable and they are used to how things are. So most who read self help books don't ever manage to change their life for the better. It is easier to just read another self help book than to make actual life changes, and so that's what most people do after reading a self help book.

Can't self-help books expand your brain, help you think in different ways, change your perspective. That can happen simply by reading.

5

In my experience, the people I have known who read self help books are looking for a justification for their behaviors and how to place blame on others. I realize that many of these books recommend the opposite of that, but like religion, people pick and choose what they like, as they do with a "holy" book. I also find that these gurus are playing upon the unhappiness and psychological disorders of people, for profit. Of course we can gain insight from a book, and many other sources, but too many of these gurus and their books are looking to take advantage of sad, lonely, and sometimes, desperate people.

Like that episode of friends where the girls read that book and start throwing heat at each other. "You're the goddess who stole my wind..." and then chandler walks in and they call him a lightning-bearer.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:2185
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.