I came home with a hickey (I was still a virgin) and my mom called me Jessica Jr (my older cousin) aka whore/slut. I talk openly with my son and refuse to say such things to him.

Religion no. Morals yes.

Physical punishment no. Rules, Boundaries and Limitations - yes. (I'm hearing Cesar Milan in my head). Kids actually want those. It gives them stability.

1. Food. Food will never be withheld as a punishment ("Go to your room and you're getting no dinner!" nor given as reward ("you've been a good little girl and so you can have extra cake!" ) - that is why, three decades later, I still spend time before each and every meal deliberating whether or not I should allow myself to eat. Food is just food, FFS; one of life's essentials.

2. Physical punishment of any kind. When an adult hits a child, all the child learns is that it's OK to hit someone who is smaller than you. Some adults, most notoriously teachers, use other forms - for example, forcing the child to do 20 press-ups or ten laps of the track, which causes the child to associate healthy exercise with punishment.

3. Demeaning remarks. I thought my own mother was bad for this ("You don't know anything, you can't do anything - you're useless!", which almost certainly contributed to my lifelong lack of confidence; but I realised she was really quite mild when I heard a woman with whom I was once friends tells her daughter "I wish I'd never had you." I do hope her daughter has dealt with it better than I did.

Hell, I avoided everything my parents did, but my mother liked to blame me for every life choice she made as if it was my fault she was unhappy.

Sending to bed without supper. Never, ever deny food.

Take them to church....

saying i had been going to give something or allow something but now that the child has misbehaved, withholding it (when i had no intention of giving or allowing it to begin with). example: "i was going to let you go to the concert but now i won't," concert not having been offered to begin with. it's a terrible technique (and as the recipient of it i can tell you it doesn't work, either).

g

Hitting.

Punishment at all, really. Consequences, yes. Punishment, no.

This post brings up to many thoughts that I am a shamed of.There was no love from my parents although I did not want for food or cloths.
I worked to long a hours and did not give my daughter enough love.I always remember smacking her on the hand once and that was a long time ago but I can still feel it.
We have a loving relationship now but you can't go back.

Spanking. I did at first but quit soon after. Because my parents did. I learned nothing from them spanking me. I saw nothing learned in my kids when I had popped them. Instead I would explain what they did that was wrong and had them understand why. With technology as it is now if you want to punish kids just remove privileges they have (phone, tv, tablet, internet).

Threat of Hell.

The criticism and non application of critical thinking. I also like the parenting type of authoritative instead of that thing called authoritarian.

What will other people think... as if that was how to value myself.

Girls can’t be trusted, particularly from when they are from poor families. (Hint: they are all loose.)

Play it safe. Don’t take risks professionally.

If I wanted to do it, I was wrong, something else was better or more appropriate.... except for one time as an adult, the message was never that blatant but it was there.

Love was conditional.

I was never good enough.

All those messages were compliments of my mother.

Constant criticism and belittling from my father. I got a strong "not good enough" message from him.

Bullying and intimidation.

1. "If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about."
2. The wooden spoon.
3. Withholding food or other basic needs.

I'll stop there but I could go on. I've decided these aren't parenting techniques anyway. They are control techniques. Unfortunately, some parents employ them.

Physical punishment. Grounding too long -- I haven't given much thought recently to grounding and whether it is effective and good, so I would need to think about it. Silence -- my parents rarely talked to me. Lack of guidance. I could go on, and on, and on...