Really ..the worst thing about a previous date for me was that ‘it worked,’ I thought we hit it off and had a basis to become closer.. Come to find out, she’d been ‘mirroring’ my thoughts and behavior, as she had many others... A skilled & intelligent invisible borderline, BPD was a serious trip ~

three come to mind, which is astonishing since that's not a much smaller number than the number of dates i've actually been on lol. the first two were dates from newspaper ads and the third from an online dating site.

1. he showed up dead drunk and seemed to get drunker as the night wore on, though i didn't see him drink. i demanded to be taken home, had no other way to get there but for him to drive, and he was driving drunk. scary.

2. we got along GREAT, like minds, like senses of humor, really, really nice evening, and then he took me home and we kissed... and his hands went around my neck. i told him i didn't like that. we kissed more and there were his hands around my neck. oops. he went back to his ex.

3. we met and he told me he was married. his profile hadn't mentioned that. he said he and his wife had an arrangement. i said i didn't.

g

Over the past four years, I slowed down this dating train. Once they met my initial screening, I decided to give men more of a chance, with bonus points for avid hikers. This is what I found:

In my experience, many men (and women) are divorced for a darn good reason. Most men can hold it together for about three weeks. Then their bad behavior comes out, the same bad behavior that killed their last relationships. Most men go from relationship-to-relationship because they are unwilling to work on themselves.

In 2014, John was a tremendous hiker, fun and intelligent. Divorced three times, John couldn't keep a relationship together. Why? He has a mean streak. I broke up with John because of his cruel, hurtful comments. Goodbye John.

In 2015, I dated a man who, it turns out, defrauded friends and investors of $694,000 by depositing their life savings into his personal account. Stephen was arrested, stripped of his broker's license, and called a "menace to society" by the State of WA. Stephen pleaded guilty, was fined $50,000 and forced to pay restitution.

How did I find out? After dating Stephen for four weeks, I received a text from an unknown person: "The man you have been dating, Stephen, has another girlfriend in Snohomish. Look up his name and court records. Stephen scammed people of $694,000." "Who are you?" I replied. No answer. Obviously, that person got my name and phone number- and knew I was dating Stephen- from Stephens's phone.

Stephen denied it. He downplayed and denied everything. Claimed the whole thing was overblown because of the Bernie Madoff scandal.

"You are a master manipulator, a liar and a thief," I told him. "I cannot trust you. I never want to see you again." This taught me to look up the names of men before meeting them.

2018: Tim was a medical doctor, intelligent and funny. I loved flying in his private plane. After our third date, Tim sent me an email: "Kathleen, you have been open about your beliefs. I want to share with you some of my beliefs."

I was horrified. Tim is an extremist right-wing, born-again Christian and Republican who stockpiled over 100 guns, including seven assault weapons and a machine gun. "Anal sex is the ultimate in submission," he wrote. Although his Jewish parents were Auschwitz survivors, Tim wants to ban all immigrants. Ban abortions. Let industry use the Earth's resources for profit. His beliefs are the antithesis of mine. I dumped him immediately.

Now I refuse to meet men with closed-mouth photos. Every older man I met with closed-lip photos had horrid teeth: missing teeth, black stumps, rotten, crooked, yellow, gray and/or breath that stank of rotten meat. UGH. I can't imagine kissing that.

Since my divorce, I received three marriage proposals and turned them all down.

I refuse to let a few bad men destroy my opinion of half of the human race. As an optimist, I still have hope.

Does that answer your question?

Copy/pasted from one of my early posts.
Fair Warning : Adult content. absolutely NSFW.

I had expected my v-day to be sad and lonely. I logged back into OK Cupid and had the most fun I've had on there in ages. First came asshole Allen. Self proclaimed "Dom" who is into polyamory. Which means he likes women submissive, is with someone currently "but they're not sexual" and doesn't mind a partner having other female lovers(with the assumption he'd join in) but doesn't know if he'd "let" his partner have male lovers. Then came pretty pervy Pete. Into all sorts of dirty and extremely unhygienic things . Pete has a very active imagination as well. One of the best bits was how women run away from his large uncircumcised genitals like they're the creature from the black lagoon. Complete with outraged shrieking from said women. Then came Sweetheart Sean. Adorably bearish Ex military operating room tech. Funny, loves horror movies,road trips and the blues. Thank you guys for a memorable Valentine's day.

I have too many! Lol!!!