Confused is an understatement ????

Biologically speaking, when it comes to sexual reproduction, the male's job (generally; there are exceptions) is to go out there and try to get his gametes into as many females as possible--and the female's job is to be as selective as possible when accepting male gametes, with the goal of only accepting the fittest.

It is literally quantity versus quality. So.

As an extrovert, I introduced myself to the man who would become my husband. A few years later, I asked Terry to marry me. He said yes. Terry is shy and has a terrible time making decisions.

"That's the man I'm going to marry," my daughter Claire said, pointing to Matt across a crowded bar. Sitting with friends, Claire had not met him. Matt was listening, laughing and talking quietly with a male friend. Matt showed kindness and maturity, unlike loud, raucous young guys in the bar.

Three years later, Claire, 28, and Matt, 33, were married in September 2018.

Being a shy female, I might have sets my sights on a fellow a time or two, but shyness kept me from pursuing any romantic interest. However, I've been pursued by men I would never have selected on my own, but through their persistence gave in and adapted, trying to make the best of it, with each of those relationships ending badly.

I do wonder if I would have tried harder to make things work, if these guys were my choice. Oh well.

Since I'm shy, and low on options in my area, I'll likely never have an opportunity to choose a mate, but that's okay. I think I'm better off without being in a relationship.

Humans performing animal mating rituals. A whole lot less complicated than dating

Typically man picks the female, and she accepts or declines, but very few females I know have the courage to make 1st move

My experience has been, it is more like a dance. You start this dance together and when the song is over, you walk off the floor together, or you each go back to your own table.

The boy chases the girl until she catches him.

As soon as I figure it out, I'll report back on it?

I've had it go both ways.

I think we're similar to birds. The male is generally on the lookout for a potential partner, and hopes that a display of the human equivalent conglomeration of plumage gets them the go ahead signal. They can be persistent in their pursuit, but short of some masterfully executed wooing, the female makes the final decision. Certainly females can send a preliminary indication of interest, and there would be nothing wrong if they choose to pursue, but I think generally it's the man that initiates things.

In my life,my two serious relationships were initiated by the two females,much to my surprise and delight. As it turns out, this was the best set of circumstances for me.