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After estrangement, Thanksgiving dinner with family

For the first time in three years, I had Thanksgiving dinner with daughter Claire and Matt and Claire's dad, Terry Valdez. Several members of Terry's family were there. Initially nervous, I relaxed as the evening progressed.

Everyone loved my Pear-Gingerbread Upside Down Cake. Before dessert, I beat up real whipping cream with a little vanilla extract, confectioner's sugar and a pinch of salt. A big hit.

Terry has a girlfriend, Sondra, for the first time in 20 years. Like an adolescent, Terry said he feels "awkward," and didn't want me to meet Sondra.

After Terry and I were divorced in 1995, we celebrated holidays, our birthdays, Mother's and Father's day as a family of three. But when Sondra became his girlfriend, Terry stopped that tradition. This hurt Claire and me.

Terry alo cut me off as a friend and acts more distant with Claire. Claire feels heartbroken and upset with her dad.

Ten years younger than Terry, Sondra has never married nor had kids. She doesn't understand Claire and Terry's connection, Terry said.

At Claire's wedding in September 2018, I deliberately sat next to Sondra at dinner, chatting and laughing with her. We had fun. Also worked hard helping Terry with decorating and serving cake.

At the wedding, Terry's family members greeted me with love and joy. It was wonderful seeing them again!

Yesterday I felt deeply grateful to be included in the Valdez family Thanksgiving. My family is back East.

Now that she's married, I have never seen Claire so happy. She and Matt exchanged quick kisses and hugs. They were adorable.

Here I am with my sweetie-pie Claire, 28.

LiterateHiker 9 Nov 23
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14 comments

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1

Good pie's cure all! Thanks you for sharing your slice of Thanksgiving.

1

Great post, you should be proud. I have a gripe! You are one great cook, care for people and take care of yourself. I am getting really tired of hearing about all this food being cooked and not being invited. I am going to have to do ... in fun, I am jealous of all the fun, great food, and your joy. Keep it up and allow me my comments. You would be a great neighbor. Don't worry I am not moving. Have a great season and keep posting all of the pictures of the food I am missing. I surely hope you take this the way I mean it. In fun.

@dalefvictor

Thank you. You are so funny!

Today I baked four loaves of Whole Wheat Oatmeal Bread, my favorite. Didn't like the bread I made last week: too dry. Threw it away.

So, I made sure today's bread is moist and delicious.

Let me torture you with food I made:

  1. Peanut butter-chocolate pinwheel cookies.

  2. Whole Wheat Oatmeal Bread. With a warm, bright tase, it is devastating as toast.

  3. Stuffed red peppers. I used 99% fat free ground turkey breast.

  4. Dried pineapple is delicious! Great for hiking.

  5. Closeup of Pear Gingerbread Upside-Down Cake.

@LiterateHiker OK consider me tortured, I will answer any and all questions, unless I was not there that day. All the dishes sound and look so good. The only one I would really have trouble with is the dried pineapple, I will drive across town to get this. Fortunately, you live a little far for me to go this time of year. Watch out if I ever win the lottery.

2

Glad this get-together worked out. Fyi, you had me at Pear-Gingerbread Upside Down Cake. 🙂

2

Except for Thanksgiving the year we divorced (in 2003), our children, my ex, and my in-laws and I have shared holidays. My parents passed away long before that. We have all benfitted from that.

1

Sounds like you had a great Thanksgiving.

1

Pear Gingerbread Upside Down Cake...yum...

2

You are a good, gracious, and forgiving person. We need more people like you.

@wordywalt

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words and support.

1

Glad that the situation improved for you. Health and happiness to you all.

1

I am happy for you.

0

So,did ya keep all the sharp knives out of reach for those still holding a grudge?

@Mike1947

Grudge-holding only hurts the person holding a grudge. I don't hold grudges. Forgiveness is key to happiness.

I have unfinished stories in my life. We all do.

"This is temporary," was my motto when Claire was a teenager.

@LiterateHiker I've not had kids,but teenage "Agnst" and thinking they know more than their Parents,in each generation continues......

@Mike1947 You can't always blame the kids though. My mom regrets dearly not listening to my teenaged angst more. I hate being right sometimes.

@Wurlitzer Yes,20-20 hindsight,wishing we had a time machine, to go back and correct a word or action before it happened.

1

Glad it went well, congratulations. I haven't seen my kids during the holidays for 15 years now. They spend it with their mom, which I am not interested in doing. I'd rather spend it by myself.

1

Glad you had a good day.

1

You ladies look awesome but pie...❤️

2

Lovely story. My ex-hubby's family have entirely cut me off. I have tried to be friendly.

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