David Foster Wallace for me.
Oh I do hope you will find your way to reading him very soon. I adore his books. I think you would like them.
Hemingway is too boring.
Mark Twain, just too cheesy. (except his sarcastic quotes, those are gold)
I actually really enjoyed Tolstoy. Never did crack War and Peace though. Mostly because I suspect I would dislike it due to subject matter.
Paradise Lost by John Milton...just can't finish it...
I have the 5 volumes of A history of the English speaking peoples by Churchill which just sits there. making me feel guilty
Nightmarish