Here's a joke. I happen to think it's ROTHFLMAO funny. Let me know what YOU think:
“Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911. ‘My friend is dead! What should I do?’ The operator replies, ‘Calm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that he’s dead.’ There’s a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, ‘Ok, now what?’”
That story is considered the funniest joke in the world, supposedly from the shocking, unexpected element.
I just think it's funny.
Here's another one. A man suspected his son was skipping school so he bought a lie detector device and set it near the dining room table.
When the family gathered for dinner, the man asked his son if he was in school that day and when the son said he had, the lie detector beeped loudly for "false."
"All right! I went to a movie!" Again came the beep.
"I meant a porno!" No beep.
The man rounded on his son, "Why did you cut school for porno? I've never done that!" and there was another "Beep!"
His wife laughed, "Ha, ha! He's your son all right!
Another loud "Beep!"
That just keeps on giving. Good one.
That’s terrible. And hysterical. Terribly hysterical.
I've heard this one so many times... Lol. Someone posted this a few months ago. I heard it years ago.
Oldie, but a goodie.
Two hunters are out together and one shoots his buddy. He gets his hurt friend to the hospital. When the doctor comes out the Hunter asks him how his friend is doing. The doctor replied, "Well, you missed his heart...He would have made it if you didn't gut him before you brought him here."
@Stevil LMAO! Well played, sir.