Too funny! I can relate.
"I turned away and stood extra still and upright, acutely aware of myself as an object of hot and exquisite beauty, feeling Jonathan's eyes on my one-hundred-percent-muscle ass and thighs, my breasts held high by the sweet bra beneath my slim-fitting shirt, my extra-light hair and bronze skin, my blue eyes made even bluer by the Plum Haze lipstick- a feeling which lasted for about the length of one song....
"at which point it reversed itself and I realized that I was a hideous beast with tree-bark-plucked-dead-chicken flesh on my hips and a too-tan, chawed-up face and weather-beaten hair and and a lower abdomen that- in spite of all the exercise and deprivation and the backpack strap that for two months had and squeezed it into what you'd guess would be oblivion- still had an indisputably rounded shape unless I was lying down or holding it in."
From "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed. She had made it to Ashford, Oregon after backpacking the Pacific Crest Trail from California south border.
I am sorry I do nor understand how self esteem could fluctuate due to the actions of another. Stuff happens and one has to deal with that, if it also alters how one feels about themselves then it would seem to me that something is wrong.
Excellent book. I've read some of her other work, very good as well.
I love Cheryl Strayed.
I also love my hair. It’s thick. Dark. Has its days but I’m always grateful for it.
However.....
I got my hair colored and cut before the holidays. Flew to the west coast and realized in flight that she cut my bangs waaaaay too short.
It’s like a mini mullet. It’s like an aging 80s rocker. My head/hair comes to a point. During the holidays.
So I’m having a reversal of self esteem that’ll hopefully grow out sooner than later.
@Syland
Your bangs will grow out quickly. My thick hair grows extremely fast.
@LiterateHiker That’s my shallow new year’s goal. I’ll avoid mirrors until that blessed day.
Today I had an funny reversal in seconds.
My friend Patricia called: 'Sorry I missed our noon appointment."
"What appointment? " I asked. "I didn't have an appointment with you today."
Instantly I was flooded with self-recrimination. "Am I getting dementia?" I wondered. I had zero recollection of a noon appointment. "This is Kathleen Miller."
"I thought I was calling my dentist's office," Patricia said. "Damn cell phone."
I laughed. "You're human," I replied. "So am I. You made me feel better about myself. Thanks, Patricia!"