Love is an action verb. This means active listening, being respectful and caring, helping each other in good times and bad. Knowing and honoring their love languages. Problem solving, growing and having FUN together. Conversation and laughter. Loyalty.
Criticize behavior, not the person's character. Instead of calling someone "lazy," talk about behaviors.
"When you did ( x ), I felt ( x ). I want you to do ( x ) instead."
"You may not speak disrespectfully to me, Claire," I said firmly. "I'm leaving," and walked out. I love my daughter no matter what. Claire is green and growing. So am I.
Dr. Brene' Brown interviewed happy couples who have been together for 50 years or more. Her 20-minute TED talk changed my life.
I love cookies and computers, my daughter, and my grandchildren and my wife. But love means different things in those different contexts. So I don't have one definition.
Love for a signifnicant other is ultimately a decision to put their needs, hopes, dreams, values and aspirations on at least an equal footing with my own.