A few years ago my dad died. We weren't really talking, but I did see him before he died. He verbally abused my mother my whole life. He believed himself to be a prophet of god. He had a cancer slowly growing in his sinuses that took over his mouth and made his teeth fall out. That was a slow process that took about a year and didn't have to happen. He diagnosed (incorrectly) and treated his disease through god. My sister called me because it had gotten so bad, and I forced him to go to the hospital. We went on a Friday and he was dead by Sunday night. The doctor told me (because I asked) that had he gone to the doctor when symptoms presented he'd likely be alive.

I went to lunch with my mom yesterday. My whole life my parents have been "we live in the last days" parents with a conviction that exceeds that of what you would typically think. My mom has kicked it up a notch and now believes that the president and previous presidents are part of the Freemasons, a secret society who (by her definition) have an oath that is "satan is good and god is bad" and you can tell Trump is by all the secret hand symbols that he shows in his speeches. I'm no fan of Trump, but that's not what this is about. When I had had enough of crazytown and was getting up to leave she attempted to hand me a paper that she said: "god had told her three times to tell me". I didn't take or read it.

I know it sounds like my parents are nuts, but I can tell you from growing up with them that I, as an unprofessional, do not believe that there is anything chemically wrong with their brains.

Congratulations if you made it this far, this is a longer post than I want to force people through. The reason I tell all that crazy backstory is to exclaim how out of place this makes me feel. I hear of people who want to spend time with their family and I feel so envious and outcast. It makes ME feel messed up because I don't have a family I can relate to. I can't even say this anywhere else because I risk getting a "god's not really like that, you should get to know him better" speech. I am not just agnostic, I am atheist, and at the expense of losing a family. I guess I just needed to vent that a bit.